A LOST SOUL Posted April 13, 2004 Posted April 13, 2004 SO MANY TIMES I THINK ABOUT DOG THAT RECENTLY PASSED AND OR MY MOM... I WILL BE DOING SOMETHING AND I FEEL THIS SENSE OF LOSS SO DEEP IN MY HEART ALONG WITH THIS ANGER THAT I WANT TO JUST LASH OUT AND SCREAM! WELL I HAD THIS THOUGHT TWICE TODAY, ONCE ABOUT MY DOG WHEN I WENT TO THE MAILBOX AND IT WAS SO WARM AND SUNNY, AND I FELT HIM NEAR ME... IT HURT THOUGH, WHEN IT SHOULD OF FELT GOOD AND COMFORTING.. THEN A MINUTE AGO I HAD THAT SAME FEELING ABOUT MY MOM..WISHING SHE WAS HERE AND FEELNG HER HERE WITH ME... I FELT SO ALONE YOU KNOW? YEAH SURE I HAVE BOYFRIEND AND THE KIDS, BUT THEY CANNOT TAKE THE PLACE OF MY MOM OR DOG. I WAS PUTTING DISHES AWAY FROM THE DISH WASHER AND SHE JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD HOW SHE USE TO CALL ME IN THE MORNINGS ALMOST EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD CALL AND SOMETIMES IN THE EVENINGS I WOULD CALL HER.. TODAY WOULD OF BEEN ONE OF THEM EVENINGS THAT I WOULD OF CALLED HER JUST FROM THE WAY THAT I FEEL.. THEN THIS THOUGHT POPPED INTO MY HEAD THAT WHAT IF EACH TIME I MISSED THEM IT WAS BECAUSE THEY ARE NEAR ME AND SOMETHING IN ME KNOWS THAT AND MAKES ME THINK OF THEM!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
moimeme Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 A friend of mine was just telling me the other day that she feels the presence of her cat very often. Many people feel that their dear departed friends and relatives are nearby.
yes Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 yes, i know what you mean. i think it's great to remember your deceased loved ones, to think of them, to feel sad that they're gone, to remember the good times you had with them, to wish you could lean on them like you used to. but of course this shouldn't happen TOO often. ... and, why do you feel anger? -yes
A LOST SOUL Posted April 14, 2004 Posted April 14, 2004 maybe angry is not quite the right word, more like frustrated alot of the time because it seems no one understands my feelings including myself a lot of times. things should be healing by now but it seems the pain is so fresh at times that it still hurts so much! just the little unexpected things that come up when least expected, you know? i tried today to see these memeories that crop up as my deceased loved ones including my dog, as sending messages to me that they are with me. i never ever after all these years thought of it as that way until today and it was such a revelation that i had to share it with someone but really had no one to share it with but a few internet friends. thank you for listening, both of you.
yes Posted April 15, 2004 Posted April 15, 2004 any chance of talking this over w/ a therapist? perhaps you're somehow keeping yourself from really feeling the grief, and that's why it keeps on coming back so strongly?? -yes
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