IanR Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Ive been reading the forums thought id see if i can get a bit of advice from you guys on my sittuation. I had a girlfriend was with her for 5 months she was in a bad marriage and seperated for 2 years Everything was going perfectly no arguments fun spontaniuos, she trusted me and i her. then after a fantastic night last tuesday we had together she finishes it out of the blue. Im not happy with you anymore, i just dont feel the same way its over im sorry. I was truely in love for the first time felt like i was getting an its not you its me speach. So naturally i try to find out whats up she says she doesnt love me anymore she doesnt feel ready for a relationship and cant see a future with me or anyone atm. she then goes on to say i hope we can be friends etc because your a lovely guy and have always been great to me and the kids, followed by i love you but im not in-love with you and i care about you, you will always be special to me. i still want to be in your life etc. ofcourse this all made it worse i wasnt sure what i wanted etco i text her a few times. so i decided the best way was to leave and not look back i text her saying im not sure we could be friends i dont think it would work, 5 hours later i regretted it and called her to apologise poured my heart out. i recieve a text next day saying i have really hurt her with all the texts and calls telling her how much im hurting, she cant deal with anymore guilt sadness and hurt in her life atm because she wont survive anymore. The fact she cant believe im moving on after 4 days but she made it clear it was over for good and posted that on her facebook. I will easily find somone else and for her it will take 2 years even then she knows it wont work. I went no contact for 2 days decided id write a letter to her and hope we can be friends in the future(big mistake i know) she made me feel guilty, i never wanted to hurt her it was along the lines if she ever needs me as a friend ill be there for her. I get a text saying she has spent the last 2 days crying she had to make an emergency app with a therapist with 2 appointments next week, she knows i didnt mean to hurt her but i have, she does not want to talk to anyone atm, she was sorry suddenly she is making me to be out the bad person when she finished it. so ive started no contact and am sticking to it now Day 1, im not hoping for a 2nd chance, i actually just miss her friendship.
Ajax Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Ive been reading the forums thought id see if i can get a bit of advice from you guys on my sittuation. I had a girlfriend was with her for 5 months she was in a bad marriage and seperated for 2 years Everything was going perfectly no arguments fun spontaniuos, she trusted me and i her. then after a fantastic night last tuesday we had together she finishes it out of the blue. Im not happy with you anymore, i just dont feel the same way its over im sorry. I was truely in love for the first time felt like i was getting an its not you its me speach. So naturally i try to find out whats up she says she doesnt love me anymore she doesnt feel ready for a relationship and cant see a future with me or anyone atm. she then goes on to say i hope we can be friends etc because your a lovely guy and have always been great to me and the kids, followed by i love you but im not in-love with you and i care about you, you will always be special to me. i still want to be in your life etc. ofcourse this all made it worse i wasnt sure what i wanted etco i text her a few times. so i decided the best way was to leave and not look back i text her saying im not sure we could be friends i dont think it would work, 5 hours later i regretted it and called her to apologise poured my heart out. i recieve a text next day saying i have really hurt her with all the texts and calls telling her how much im hurting, she cant deal with anymore guilt sadness and hurt in her life atm because she wont survive anymore. The fact she cant believe im moving on after 4 days but she made it clear it was over for good and posted that on her facebook. I will easily find somone else and for her it will take 2 years even then she knows it wont work. I went no contact for 2 days decided id write a letter to her and hope we can be friends in the future(big mistake i know) she made me feel guilty, i never wanted to hurt her it was along the lines if she ever needs me as a friend ill be there for her. I get a text saying she has spent the last 2 days crying she had to make an emergency app with a therapist with 2 appointments next week, she knows i didnt mean to hurt her but i have, she does not want to talk to anyone atm, she was sorry suddenly she is making me to be out the bad person when she finished it. so ive started no contact and am sticking to it now Day 1, im not hoping for a 2nd chance, i actually just miss her friendship. Soooo... ultimately she's upset with you because she hurt you? You selfish pig! How dare you have feelings? You villiainous, villainous man. And then you get in trouble for "moving on" in four days? You can't do anything right for this girl. As hurt as you are, I hope you appreciate the absurdity of the situation. I think it's safe to say that she is not a healthy person to have a relationship with, or even a friendship for that matter. I hope you stick with the NC. It's not easy, but if you give it time it will get better.
Fedor Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 It's probably best in letting go of this one. How can she be mad at you when she broke your heart? I can't wrap my head around that one. She needs to take responsibility for her decisions.
Chi townD Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 If she actually said, " I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech. 9 times out of 10 there's usually someone else in the picture. Stay NC.
Author IanR Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 she broke up with me and she was going out on saturday, i called her on that 1 of her ex's from 8 years ago who was single was going out a short ugly guy(a picture with her hand on his shoulder is up on her facebook now) she posted on facebook to him she was over with good with me and was going out to enjoy herself a free single woman t, she is not the cheating sort so i guess she finished with me because she wanted something to happen with him, dont know dont really want to think of it as my fault. Everything always seemed fine with us but it seems she just wanted her cake and to eat it too she is going through a divorce etc atm. Everyone says this but truely think she will regret this moment for a long long time. id hate to think of her with somone else but i dont want to be with somone that doesnt want to be with me.
Chi townD Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I can't tell you how many times we've read, " He/she would never cheat on me." Or " He/she isn't the cheating type." actually come back here saying, "I can't believe he/she cheated on me!" Just that fact that she posted a picture of her with someone else on her FB page is telling you something. By the way, you don't actually have to have sex in order to cheat on someone. And another thing, delete her from your FB page, you don't need to see that crap.
Author IanR Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 your post made me smile ajax, thats how i feel i dont know what i did wrong. did she expect yeh ok whatever you want or is good for you. if she didnt want to finish it she should have commited to the relationship, if she didnt want a relationship she should never have got into 1 with me never mind letting me into her kids life(they absoloutely love me btw) and meeting my parents comming on holiday up to my house for a week a month ago.
Author IanR Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 she is deleted and all of her friends too, so i have no ties to her whatsoever she cant play with my head anymore
Author IanR Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 blah im so confused atm, its not that im moving on so fast. I was told to get myself out there dating again cchatting people up building my confidence back up. I have done this, met some nice people. Do all rebound relationships fail? i find myself wanting to wait for her to contact me which i know is wrong. on the other hand i have found someone else who is really nice and if the situation wasnt like it is, i could see a potential good relationship do i give this oppurtunity a miss or do i just see where it goes and take it slow. what a bloody week ive had lol
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