MrDrama Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 So my ex and I were going out for 2 years, she broke up with me and started dating one of co workers right after me (Classy right?). Since that happened I totally blocked her out of my life and made her feel like a terrible person which she should it was wrong to do that me. I also let everyone at work know about this and I posted some dumb stuff on facebook( regret this so much). So we have not talked since that week about a month 1/2 ago. Watching them two walk outside together on breaks and lunches makes my heart sink every time its the hardest thing ever. So yesterday was my birthday I turned the big 21, at exactly 12 I got a text from her saying "Happy birthday your finally 21 I hope your have a great day you deserve it" I never said anything trying to keep NC but I cracked the next day at night when i was drinking. I just said thanks. We started texting, and we started talking on the phone later at night we were both out doing separate things (She was with the new kid she dating). We said we missed each other and we need to get drinks untill I found out she was with that kid and I freaked out cussed her out. She broke down crying and had to have her family pick her up while she was out. Me being the softy I am called her brother hammered asking if she was okay because I still do care ( she smashed her phone on the ground after I didn't pick up my phone). We video chatted later that night when I got home from the bar (again hammered out of my mind) We talked for a little bit then my computer died and I just passed out. Today I woke up got on my computer and saw a **** load of messages on my IM and my cell phone telling me to get back on AIM we need to talk. Later on the afternoon we literally Video chatted for 4 hours, we broke down both of us, she said after she broke up with me her life turned into shambles (it did really fall apart for her after we broke up, im assuming that why she attached her self to the dbag we both work with) She texted me later on the day and we were texting like we were back to normal. Im not sure if I should be texting her at all or even talking to her because I am still in love with her no matter how much she screwed me over. She is still with that dbag and is going to vegas with him next week im pretty sure because its his birthday. I just dont know if I should keep no contact, continue to talk to her. Maybe she is only talking to me because she wants to try to heal her guilt? She says i was the closest person ever to her and its so hard not to be able to talk to me because her life is a total mess. I told her she put her self in that situation and all I ever did was give 110% and im the one who got screwed over. I honestly think it is G.I.G.S but I need to move on because it hurts to much to care about her. Seeing her with him everyday kills me...
geegirl Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 You sure are a glutton for punishment. Her decision to leave has repercussions and that means losing you from her life. Ain't life grand having a man to romp around in Vegas with and then you in the background waiting to lap up the leftover madness. You can love her but that doesn't mean that you put yourself in a position that hurts you. You need to separate yourself from your source of pain and that's this woman. If she chooses to be with someone else, then that someone else should be the one providing her the support and care that she needs, not you. And if he's not doing that, don't you be sitting there offering the stability she needs. If she is really dependent on you that way, then let her taste what it's like to not have you in her life. She will never know what she's lost if you keep standing infront of her. In the meantime, who is providing you with the support and care that you need. It surely isn't her. She's only giving you pain. Either you get a backbone and stay NC or you be her doormat. And if you think being the nice supportive doormat will help get her back again, nope. The more you bend backwards for her, the more she will use you for her own needs and disrespect you. And the more you get beaten up emotionally. Let her fight her own battles and stew in her own messes. It is not your job to rescue her. You need to get out of this unhealthy situation and heal. No one can give you that but YOU.
Author MrDrama Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Very true it would just be so much easier if I didnt have to see them two at work. Sucks losing your first love and having he toy with you is worse. You think you know someone but turns out that are the exact opposite. Better to loved and lost then not loved at all I guess or thats what my friends tell me. I just want the hurt to go away, and if its meant to be it is later down the line.
Kodo Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Very true it would just be so much easier if I didnt have to see them two at work. Sucks losing your first love and having he toy with you is worse. You think you know someone but turns out that are the exact opposite. Better to loved and lost then not loved at all I guess or thats what my friends tell me. I just want the hurt to go away, and if its meant to be it is later down the line. I know what you're going through. I saw my first love leave me twice in the same way. It never gets easier. If you can, try and get your position at work moved around so you don't have to see her? Perhaps discuss it in confidence with a manager or work support service? As far as the pain of it, it's the worst a man can go through as far as I'm concerned. So chuckle to yourself on ocassion and remind yourself that you've gone throuigh so much compared to others around you. Silent confidence never hurts. It is better to have loved than lost. But don't worry about that now. If anything think about it briefly. Those happy thoughts... they aren't the same girl are they? It's as if she's been possessed by something. So treat it like that. Let that new manifestation do what she wants. It's her stuff up. But when you're trying to understand. Just remember, t hat is NOT the same person. That's why it hurts.
guccimane99 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Alright if i was in your shoes i'd drop out of sight. I know how hard it is loving someone, but the best thing like everyone else said is to show her what life is like without you. Drop out and do not go looking for her let her find you. Honestly, after all the girls i have been hurt by and i have been hurt by alot i just say whatever. I realize a day of sadiness is one less day of happiness. If she loved you shed be with you and accept you for your faults. It sucks but its life and honestly whenever a girl says i love you just ask her/he if they accept you for your faults and loves you for that too. This girl does not know what she wants, but the best this for you to do is to do that and start dating. Two things will happen you will go on many horrible dates and you'll find someone better who will treat you with respect and know what your truly worth. Second you will start dating someone and she will get jealous and not want to see you with that person and if you start dating you will have to decided, either way you have moved on. Also tell yourself that the grass is always green and smile woman are attracted to happy, funny, looks don't matter. Ive seen good looking girls dated ugly as men. Ill tell you leagues don't exist. So go out there bettter yourself and you will find "True happines."
Author MrDrama Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 thanks guy I appreciate all the advice in steering me in the right direction but in the end it can only come down me following thru and showing her I am not her doormat. Question though she just texted me this a few hours ago randomly "Its my cousins birthday today and of course my family asked about you" Should I say anything to her or just leave it as NC. I wanted to say "Just tell them about your new boyfriend"
Author MrDrama Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 Dang they just made it official on facebook new relationship in less then two months coming out of a 2 year one should be interesting I guess it really is time to put my foot down and Block them both on facebook and NC forever.
EgoJoe Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Not only that but tell her you were only playing along to see how far she'd fallen, then block her. Snipe at her ego. You deserve it. **** the high road. You can do the work on yourself and be a good dude while giving her a taste of her own medicine. If the eye offends thee, pluck it out.
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