thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 So, I decided to break NC. I missed him... I wanted him at least to be my friend. I am in a relationship right now. It was... weird talking to him again. I called him and he sounded so excited to talk to me. He told me he was planning on surprising me by kidnapping me on my birthday (in July) and then taking me to Olive Garden (our favorite restaurant). But then he said he saw my facebook status (where I got another boyfriend) and decided that he wouldn't do that because my new boyfriend probably wouldn't like it. And then he was about to say something and didn't say it. And then I said "What?" And pressured him to tell me. I could tell he wanted to. He said that he thinks I got into a relationship with my new boyfriend a little too soon. (When my ex dumped ME over 4 months ago!) He also hinted that he has been depressed lately, and he told me he missed me very much. What do you think about this? Breadcrumbs? Or does he FINALLY want me now that I am in another relationship? He is still single by the way. After 4 months of breaking up with me. He also kept asking me questions about my new boyfriend... I just started dating my new guy about a week and a half ago, but I still feel like I like my ex a lot. What should I do?
Dust Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Earlier this month you liked a guy who had another girl sleeping over at his place regularly. Now you have a new boyfriend and are calling some ex to let him know your just thinking about him. (sounds like drama) You obviously don’t really care for this new guy or you wouldn’t be sabotaging things by calling your ex. As for your ex I have no idea why you broke up or what’s stopping you from going back to him? (that info would help)
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Oh! I made up with the guy who had the other girl over. That is my current boyfriend. We had a long talk. And I told him I was going to contact my ex. He was cool with it. ^^ My ex dumped me for a girl he met on the internet even though he still won't admit it. He flew out to Washington to meet her, and I guess they didn't work out.
Frank13 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I am curious why you broke NC right after getting a new boyfriend. I would think that would distract you from missing the ex. Do you feel you could just be friends with the ex after only 2.5 months NC? If the ex did come back and it didn't work, would you be starting all over at square one to get over him? The ex leaving you for another girl doesn't sound promising, especially when it was someone he met on the internet. Might be different if it was a friend he knew for awhile and developed feelings for, but to bail for an internet girl worries me a great deal.
Dust Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Seriously, you should probably forget both guys. It’s obvious you really don’t care for this new guy. You used to care for your ex but don’t anymore or you’d be with him. The trick to feeling lonely is to love you for you. Keep on going after your dreams and love yourself. I think a third man will emerge when you love yourself. (a different kind of guy then you’re used to being with) The kind of guy who has only eyes for you. He undresses you with his eyes while casting out all images of other women. (or at least that’s how it should make you feel.)
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I told my ex that I had to get over him and so I had to go NC until It was over him. Then I got a new boyfriend and felt like I could finally handle contact with my ex. I also felt like it was mean of me to stop talking to my ex and so I felt guilty not being his friend. I guess getting a new boyfriend ultimately made me miss my ex even more is what it boils down to. But I never expected my ex to react this way either. I expected him to just blow me off like he normally does. Also, I don't really have PROOF that they got together. He dumped me because I was really jealous of her and was spying on him. Then he flew to Washington to see her after he broke up with me. So it really could have just been that I didn't trust him. The question is, does it sound to you like my ex wants me back now? I don't know what to do... I thought my ex would have another girlfriend now and we could really just be friends. I didn't know he missed me.
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Seriously, you should probably forget both guys. It’s obvious you really don’t care for this new guy. You used to care for your ex but don’t anymore or you’d be with him. The trick to feeling lonely is to love you for you. Keep on going after your dreams and love yourself. I think a third man will emerge when you love yourself. (a different kind of guy then you’re used to being with) The kind of guy who has only eyes for you. He undresses you with his eyes while casting out all images of other women. (or at least that’s how it should make you feel.)I WOULD be with my ex if he would have let me. But he kept shooting me down for months until I finally had to go NC with him. And then I got with this new guy and all of a sudden he wants me it seems like.
Beeotch Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 How is someone your boyfriend after only a week and a 1/2? I don't know about you, but I like to get to know someone for a while (a week and 1/2 is barely enough for me to call you my friend muchless decide that you are my boyfriend). Soooo that to me is already going down hill....then the fact that you still like your ex and are posting about your ex when you have a boyfriend (albeit a less than 2 week "boyfriend")...that too is also not a good look. I suggest you reassess what relationships mean to you, including not jumping into "relationships" so quickly. I would also suggest that you not toy around with this guy if you aren't over your ex (which you aren't). I don't think you need to be dating him or your ex but really growing some more. I don't think you take relationships seriously and are in them for the wrong reasons. I don't know how old you are and age doesn't matter anyway since young and old alike in our society have some very warped, unhealthy ideas about relationships and their own self worth and hop from person to person making a mess out of things because their self love, self respect, self understanding and relationship IQ are non-existent or barely there.
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I've known my boyfriend for about 2 months now I guess. Just started dating him a couple weeks ago though.
Dust Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I WOULD be with my ex if he would have let me. But he kept shooting me down for months until I finally had to go NC with him. And then I got with this new guy and all of a sudden he wants me it seems like. I really don’t want you to get jaded because that is so unattractive and no fun to be. The thing is your ex is probably just horny for you. He is thinking less about a life with you and more about pulling your hair and swinging you around the room naked. This is my educated guess. In his horny state he lusts after you with his dirty mind. He will once again do what he did before. Let it tickle your ego that he once again wants you but I suggest you go NC. As for your current bf he may have agreed to let you talk with your ex but unless he is stupid he will sense something is up and you are bringing drama into your life the more you even bring up an ex to a current bf. I also hope your current bf has stopped all activity with his other girlfriend.
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I can't help it. I thought he didn't like me anymore so I tried to move on by getting a new boyfriend. So for all of those trying for the "no contact" rule... maybe it's really not the best option, is it? Your ex could be missing you and you won't even know it.
Heatemyheart89 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 My ex did this to me and it led to nothing.He's just put out you have a boyfriend more than likely
Wicked_City Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I see so many posts like this in LS, I guess it's part of being young. I saw Susie with my bf John and so I broke up with John because he keeps talking to Susie. Then, John calls me up because he and Suzie are having problems and I want to be there for him as a friend. i got a new bf and now John is acting interested...blah blah...Same story line over and over. Listen up, have some discipline. We all know you have an agenda. You want to get a reaction from your ex by showing off your new guy in FB then calling your ex just to see. Now you sort of taking some pleasure knowing your ex is showing some ambivalence. There is nothing innocent about this. Be honest, you have a motive, what is it? You want your ex back? You got a new guy to test the situation? You're not even really into the new guy!
Author thespiff Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I'll admit.. I did want my ex back the whole time. I thought I liked the new guy for awhile, but now I am not so sure because my ex wants me back. I've been pining for my ex ever since he left me.
Frank13 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I'll admit.. I did want my ex back the whole time. I thought I liked the new guy for awhile, but now I am not so sure because my ex wants me back. I've been pining for my ex ever since he left me. I'd say take one last shot with the ex. If he ends it again, at least you won;t have regrets that you didn't try.
Recommended Posts