NSDNQ Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 *pats self on back* I'm gonna luagh when her gigs bites her in the ass. I miss her ALOT. but I'm doing my damn best to get on with my life. I put so much effort into the relationship that it ****ed up my entire life. If she ever wants me back I'll make her sweat it out for a long ass time to show her how much she hurt me. but the more time goes by the more I'll be okay with myself if that never happens.
Graceful Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 So impressed. Very often, the birthday message is used as an excuse to make contact, and it's a lame excuse. Why wish someone a "happy" birthday after they've dumped you and treated you poorly? Crazy shizz, you know? Keep the focus on yourself. When you're improving as a person, it matters less and less what becomes of the ex. Your investment is in you, so if you bring that to another relationship in due time, that's to your benefit. And crazy as it sounds, you'll have the breakup with your ex to thank. Nice going. Grace x *pats self on back* I'm gonna luagh when her gigs bites her in the ass. I miss her ALOT. but I'm doing my damn best to get on with my life. I put so much effort into the relationship that it ****ed up my entire life. If she ever wants me back I'll make her sweat it out for a long ass time to show her how much she hurt me. but the more time goes by the more I'll be okay with myself if that never happens.
radiodarcy Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 that's great! my ex's birthday isn't until the end of july. and even though there's a part of me that really really really wants to send a text saying "happy birthday", as Graceful said, i know it would be an excuse to make contact. of course, the other reason for me not to contact him is that he never bothered to say "happy birthday" to me when he contacted me back in feb (the day before my bday) or the year before that either. soooo why should i?
MissMoni Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 What do you guys think is the protocol if your ex HAS wished you a happy bday? My birthday was a few months ago, we were in NC after I told him being friends wasn't in my best interest at that point. He texted me a simple "Happy Birthday!" text. I don't want it to look like I am using his bday to talk to him, but at the same time I'm not a mean person and he was in my life for 2 yrs..I think it might look bitchy if I don't say anything, esp since I've re-added him on fb. When he first broke up with me, I prob would have called or sent a card, but I don't even really think he's worth a text msg now, lol. Would a simple wall post on fb do?
crazyinlove76 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 What do you guys think is the protocol if your ex HAS wished you a happy bday? My birthday was a few months ago, we were in NC after I told him being friends wasn't in my best interest at that point. He texted me a simple "Happy Birthday!" text. I don't want it to look like I am using his bday to talk to him, but at the same time I'm not a mean person and he was in my life for 2 yrs..I think it might look bitchy if I don't say anything, esp since I've re-added him on fb. When he first broke up with me, I prob would have called or sent a card, but I don't even really think he's worth a text msg now, lol. Would a simple wall post on fb do? I've already decided what I'll say if she sends a 'happy birthday' message in a couple of weeks. 'Yes it is!' How's that homebrew??
GivenUp0083 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 What do you guys think is the protocol if your ex HAS wished you a happy bday? My birthday was a few months ago, we were in NC after I told him being friends wasn't in my best interest at that point. He texted me a simple "Happy Birthday!" text. I don't want it to look like I am using his bday to talk to him, but at the same time I'm not a mean person and he was in my life for 2 yrs..I think it might look bitchy if I don't say anything, esp since I've re-added him on fb. When he first broke up with me, I prob would have called or sent a card, but I don't even really think he's worth a text msg now, lol. Would a simple wall post on fb do? Honestly, my ex's bday was a week ago and I sent a bday text. She texted back 3 hours later at 3:00am just saying "thanks" and nothing else. Was it worth it? Probably not. At the time I felt that I wanted to be the better person and at least say something but nothing more than happy bday. Part of me thought it might open the door for her to come back or admit she made a mistake. Thinking back farther, I realize she will never come back. She never went back to the 5 ex's before me, and one she was with for 2.5 years and looked at wedding rings with. If she goes back to anyone after gigs is up, it'll be him and not me I'm sure. That's why I'm motivated to write one last email calling her out on everything, and calling her out on her deceptive actions to show me she truly cared when she had doubts all along is something I will make strong point of and cannot be refuted.
usabup Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I've already decided what I'll say if she sends a 'happy birthday' message in a couple of weeks. 'Yes it is!' How's that homebrew?? That response is brilliant!
Graceful Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Hey radiodarcy honey- this just cracked me right up; hope that's okay! You don't say "Happy" anything to someone, unless you mean it. Why bother? To be nice? Heck, I'm one of the nicest people I know, but does it mean I'm not "nice" b/c I don't wish my ex a happy birthday, when I don't mean it? No, that makes me a phony. I hope you're doing something fun on *his* birthday in July, and that you don't even remember it's his birthday! He didn't wish you a HB when you were together? No brainer right there. Total loser. that's great! my ex's birthday isn't until the end of july. and even though there's a part of me that really really really wants to send a text saying "happy birthday", as Graceful said, i know it would be an excuse to make contact. of course, the other reason for me not to contact him is that he never bothered to say "happy birthday" to me when he contacted me back in feb (the day before my bday) or the year before that either. soooo why should i?
radiodarcy Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 thanks Graceful! i think being able to have a sense of humor about these things is all part of taking my ex off of the pedestal i had him on for so long. i've always tried to do the nice thing by giving people the benefit of the doubt, being tolerant and understanding. but being nice doesn't mean being a pushover by rationalizing or explaining away the sub-standard treatment i received from him. yeah - - he was definitely a fail as a boyfriend. i like when you said you don't say "happy" to someone unless you mean it. that's so true! my ex used to always encourage me to let my feelings out. when i did he would tell me it made him feel awkward and as though he couldn't be himself around me. this is the same man who said all the women he's known are liars so in that case - - why would i bother to wish him a happy anything when it would only be a lie??? thanks for the idea of doing something fun for his birthday. i really should! i have tons of paid time off i can use. and hopefully by then, i'll have forgotten it's his birthday because i'll be too busy having a party of my own!!
radiodarcy Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I've already decided what I'll say if she sends a 'happy birthday' message in a couple of weeks. 'Yes it is!' How's that homebrew?? i love it!!
Ajax Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Nice job NSDNQ! The birthday contact/no contact question get a lot of people, and who can blame them? My ex's B-Day is Aug 2nd, and though I know I'll be able to keep myself from contacting her, I know she'll be on my mind a lot that day. But since my birthday came and went without any communication, it's safe to say she won't be hearing from me either.
Author NSDNQ Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 thanks Graceful! i think being able to have a sense of humor about these things is all part of taking my ex off of the pedestal i had him on for so long. once you take them off that pedestal it really is amaing how much of an ugly person they start appearing to be.
Author NSDNQ Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Nice job NSDNQ! The birthday contact/no contact question get a lot of people, and who can blame them? My ex's B-Day is Aug 2nd, and though I know I'll be able to keep myself from contacting her, I know she'll be on my mind a lot that day. But since my birthday came and went without any communication, it's safe to say she won't be hearing from me either. I know she still has a saftey net/breadcumbs mentality towards me so now that I dont talk to her friends or text her, blocked her fb, and her birthday came and went I know its only a matter of time before she starts panicking and realizing I'm really gone. I pushed the limit in the weeks after the breakup. borderline stalker stuff. then again you cant blame me since she was stringing me along for one night stands during that period, I was still trying to make the relationship work but my guess is she just really liked the sex (best either of us ever had) anyway I know eventually she's gonna attempt to contact. either after the new thing with this guy shes with doesnt work out (he's been breadcrumbing for several years in between her bf's) or at somepoint before she goes down south to see him. I do honestly want her back. I wont to hold her and love her again. but Im sooooooooo ****ing done with getting strung along. not sure how to approach that
ahoy Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Well done mate, good on you! I didn't bother sending my ex a happy birthday either - that'd just open the door to conversation (like I want that!). She sent me on though, but it got deleted faster than you can say lol.
radiodarcy Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 once you take them off that pedestal it really is amaing how much of an ugly person they start appearing to be. so true! as difficult as NC can be at times, the longer i stay away, the more clarity i obtain. and while part of me still loves him and wishes things could have worked out. there's another part of me that's beginning to wonder what i ever saw in him in the first place.
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