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What Could it Mean?

Jman171

By Jman171
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Jman171 Member

Jman171

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My ex-girlfriend of 9 months recently dumped me, and although the break-up wasn't mutual on my part, it wasn't a horrible break-up (no screaming,fighting,etc.) And we really never did have any serious fights, usually just small confrontations that seemed to mean almost nothing. During the beginning of the relationship, everything went really smooth. We were happy together and she was was my best friend. Like hanging out with a guy, only it was a beautiful guy.......(awkward).... However, I still love her very much even after the break up, but I feel as though I cannot just be her friend anymore. Maybe after a while, romantic feelings would fade away and I could be great friends with her like we used to be. But as of right now I feel like it's all or nothing in a sense. I did the normal pathetic attempt to "win" her back with my romantic plea, but of course it was of no use. She did however respond with a sentence that hit me. She told me , "Ask me again in a year." That is why I am here. Could this mean that she still has feelings for me, but needs a break? After my attempt I did implement the "No Contact Rule," with the intent on making her realize what a great friend and partner she could've had. I still do want to be with her, and be loved again. But...... when she says, "Ask me again in a year," I feel stuck between two sides of the spectrum. Part of me thinks, "well if she needs a break to think things over, that's fine, and if she wants to work things out in a year or even sooner/later, then let it be, time will tell how both of us feel at that point." However, the other part of me feels as though I am being almost manipulated. I feel like I'm a secondary option and possibly even no option at all. I know I will not be waiting at her feet for a year. I am hoping No Contact will work in my favor, but mainly I just need to know what does, "Ask me again in a year," mean.

 

 

P.S. I have been doing No Contact for about 2 1/2 weeks so far, so not that long.

Edited by Jman171
Fedor Established Member

Fedor

Posted
Posted

Kind of in a similar situation. My ex told me she "wasnt in love with me right now". So what, your going to be in love with me next week? lol Point is, its usually them trying to get us off there back or yes, they may just want space. Maybe she doesnt want anything serious right now but if she did, she would want that with you. And yes, that is making you her safety net and that isnt right. Stay no contact and live your life. In my case, my ex is kind of crawling back to me. Hope it works out the same for yourself.

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

Posted
Posted (edited)

My ex told me when he broke it off that: "Maybe we can try again in the summer". It has been 2 years now since we broke up and needless to say we are NOT together and he did NOT try to work anything out. :laugh: I am also quite happy for unanswered prayers and that that debacle didn't pan out.

 

My bestfriend and her gf broke up 2 years ago as well and the gf at the time told her: "I see us working out, just not right now". Well, like the ex and I, they are NOT together now either, and she did NOT work anything out with her and infact has been dating someone else for a year now who is not my friend. But like me, my friend has moved on as well and thanks heavens that things didn't work out.

 

Sooo, yes, often statements such as those are meaningless, often manipulative or a way for that person to leave the door open for themselves in case they want to run back, but essentially you are NOT their priority but an option. They don't want to be with you but don't want to let you go fully "just in case" OR they don't want to hurt your feeling so wrongfully believe that giving false hope will make things easier for you or make them not feel so bad.

 

You spotted that something was "off" about her comment, you were right trust your feelings. Don't wait for her to MAYBE decide to date you in a year :rolleyes: That is an insult! The fact that she is assuming that you're STILL going to be chasing her a whole 12 months later, like "oh yeaa...poor chum...how about try again in a year"....the arrogance! That tells you a lot about how she views you right now. Thank the Universe for what WAS and move it along as right now you are NOT equals wanting the same thing...but you're the chum who wants her more whom she can take up and put down as she feels because she believes you are that pathetic to be waiting around.

Edited by Beeotch
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