jever Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I am from North America, and my boyfriend is from South America. We have been together for nearly 3 years, and everything has been going very well. Only one problem. There is a bit of a "culture clash". In his culture, it is normal to greet others by giving a kiss on the cheek, or like an "air kiss", much like many Europeans do... I am very uncomfortable with doing this. Well actually, I am fine with it as long as someone else starts it (the person I'm greeting comes to me and leans in for the "kiss"). If I have to inititate it, I really REALLY don't feel comfortable. I've never really been the type to get close to other people. I like my personal space bubble lol. I mean, I am close and affectionate with my boyfriend, but I'm not in to hugging my friends etc-- its okay if they start the hug, but I won't intitate it. Ive always been this way and I don't think I should have to change myself, right? What can I do? It's starting to cause some arguements between my boyfriend and I!
Jazzari Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Where are you living now? If you are in his country, then I think its polite to follow their customs. If you are in North America, then he should respect yours.
Author jever Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Well, we are in my country, and that was my opinion too. But he thinks that if I am with his family for example or with friends that are also from his country I should follow his customs. I kind of feel like he is right too... but I am so uncomfortable with it. I don't know how to get past it.
Jazzari Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I'd follow his customs for his family. I don't think he's asking too much there and hopefully you are comfortable enough with them that it won't bother you. But I don't think you should have to treat his friends in any special way.
Author jever Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I definately agree, I wish it just came more naturally to me. I feel so forced to do it. Also, for example whenever we go to visit his mom he wants me to greet her with the kiss, which i rarely do, because usually when I enter the house she is sitting at the computer (which is right by the door) and she doesn't get up. She says hello, but its not very welcoming and makes it even more uncomfortable to try to greet her with a kiss when she has her body turned away from me and is staring at a computer screen! Is it just me or is it that impolite of her? I mean I think if people expect to be greeted with a kiss then they should be open to one
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