HT711 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Ok so For the past 9 months I have been in a long distance relationship with the woman of my dreams. When it all first started I tried to distance myself from it as I knew it would be very hard to make work. However the connection between both of us was intense both physically and emotionally. We have just about everything in common, same outlook on life, and spiritual beliefs. We had decided to try to have children and talked about marriage. Both of us are divorced and have said we wouldnt do it again. I pretty much let her guide the relationship and in less then a month she wanted to make it serious and commited. I finally realized in Jan. that this is the woman I want to make my life with so I decided to try to apply for a Job closer to her as my family isnt close to me where I live and she has a 3yr old son and needs to be near her family for him. My profession is stressful and gaining employment is very competitive. When I went to see her It was instant comfort like we had been together for years and the sexual chemistry was nuclear. For the first three days anyway. I got sick with an upper resperatory bug, didnt make the cut for the job and couldnt afford to do the things I wanted to do with her, and I failed to continue to show her the affection and sensitivity she expect and snapped at her a few times. And she started to lose attraction. And I think she was ginuinely afraid I wouldnt make it back to see her again. She is the type that needs contact and affection. The fact that she remain that into me for so long from so far appart I think says alot about our connection. So when I got back home she Asked for space. I told her I understood and I would accept that. I figured it would be over and I would try to move on. However she went through the whole phase of using me to get over the break up and still called morning noon and night. I didnt get that she was using me but Still she came to the verge of reconciling and asked to come stay with me when classes were over. This at the end of march. Then in April she started dating again. I flipped out made all the cardinal mistakes. begged her to re commit, chased her like a lost puppy and pushed her away. So april 13th she shut down on me. Now May 17th she has enetered a relationship and moved straight in with the guy. I started reseaching all this and went NC may 11th. She still has been in contact with me but I shut her down quick and tell her it was good to hear from her. I finally decided that I know I have demons from my previous marriage that I need to address and work on myself so I need to get over her, and I took her off my facebook on the 20th. She got really upset and sent me a text saying she couldnt believe I would do that. During her period of contact after she asked for space she did the same thing when I told her I couldnt be in limbo like this and if she wasnt going to reconcile to leave me be so I can move on. She called me up crying and saying she had to have me in her life that she loved me and just needed time to figure out what she wants. I really do want to reconcile. But I know that I have work to do to be the man she knows from a distance. I really worry about her throwing herself headlong into a domestic partnership with someone with her son involved and I can't figure out why she made such a brash dicision. I just want opinions on if reconciling is a possibilty and how to handle her. Like I said I had no idea about no contact and all these things till this month. I have a job posibilty about 5 hours from her that I got called about yesterday however she doesnt know it and I won't tell her about it even if I were to take it. Its a good job with great benifits though and would probably do it for myself.
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