blackmagik Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 So I have been dating a girl for about five or six months and everything is going fantastic. Last night we were on the phone just chatting about relationships and others and stuff and she mentioned that she had dinner plans on friday cancelled with a friend of hers because his girlfriend didn't approve. Now normally I wouldn't care at all, but she never mentioned anything about dinner plans with another guy or even mentioned she was friends with someone like that ever in our relationship. So I don't know, am I crazy for being slightly jealous or concerned? I mean I figure if its a friend thing she would have at least brought his name up in conversation or even mentioned him at all. I am not concerned with her cheating on me ever or anything like that, so I don't even know what my question is, just kind of venting I guess because I need to say it somewhere and get some kind of opinion on it. It's been racing through my head all day. I kind of brought up the girlfriend how she feels and reasons why she might feel that way as kind of a way of going at it that it kind of bothers me. I am a pretty trusting guy even though I have been burned by girls in the past, which should make me feel the opposite but I just don't feel like my history should affect my present other than then a guide to know how not to put myself into situations. She did however send a lengthy text that if anything bothers me that I should definitely tell her and that some things that might bother others don't really cross her mind because she doesn't think of stuff like that. So like I said I don't know if this an actually question or just venting but any help would be appreciated .
chuckles11 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Well, if you two are exclusive, I certainly think it's reasonable for you to expect her to tell you that she is going out to dinner one on one with a male friend. I'm not quite sure I understand why she didn't tell you at first, but told you after the fact, however. It almost sounds like she was testing you.
Author blackmagik Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 We are most definitely exclusive. She did say it was bothering her that she didn't think I was comfortable telling her what I really felt about it. I really just don't want to be one of those guys that can't trust his girlfriend and tries to tell her what to do and not to do. It just seems kind of odd to me, I don't know.
chuckles11 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Yeah, I understand that you don't want to tell her what to do, but on the other hand basic boundaries have to be established in relationships. People usually go to dinner on Friday nights with people that they are dating. I understand that you don't want to be the controlling boyfriend, but asking her to tell you when she's going out on pseudo-dates with male friends is a reasonable request.
Miss Clavel Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 So I have been dating a girl for about five or six months and everything is going fantastic. Last night we were on the phone just chatting about relationships and others and stuff and she mentioned that she had dinner plans on friday cancelled with a friend of hers because his girlfriend didn't approve. So like I said I don't know if this an actually question or just venting but any help would be appreciated . I think you missed the moment when you might have said something like: "well, for what it's worth, and you don't need my approval, but I don't like the idea either". She might have been fishing, woman do that, trying to see what you would say. My advice is to talk to her. I can't stress this enough, if you want to know something, ask.
guy777 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 We are most definitely exclusive. She did say it was bothering her that she didn't think I was comfortable telling her what I really felt about it. I really just don't want to be one of those guys that can't trust his girlfriend and tries to tell her what to do and not to do. It just seems kind of odd to me, I don't know. Maybe you should find a girl "friend" to take out one-on-one and see if she says anything about it. If she doesn't, things probably aren't going so well with you two. But probably best follow previous advice and tell her you don't like the idea first. Then she'll likely comeback with some trust bs, or something about not wanting to feel controlled. You could say, "alright, didn't realize those are the rules you wanted. I'm cool". Then find a friend of your own to take out. I realize this approach isn't what you want, but if she doesn't care enough to respect your wishes to not date other guys one-on-one, she's not leaving you with much choice.
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