greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 LOL I think this little story was posted in the wrong section. I don't think the ow section was the right one. Anyhow waytogo was not going off on her for no reason. Waytogo actually gave her a chance when no one else in the neighborhood did and befriended her and what did she do? She came on to her friends husband. How do you find fault with that? and why are you so heartily defending this unknown woman who wants every single or married man in town?
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I hear you.I have never been in a forum that didn't make me wonder...... if humanity exists anymore.I think people tend to feel protected in thier annonymity to say anything they want without bothering to think or consider others feelings.I have left many a place thanks to just that reason.I am sorry you didn't find the support you needed there. It's a shame,that OW and BS's can't coexist within the same forum in order to learn...........not judge and bash and invalidate eachother at every turn. No irony that the MM are NEVER in these places.They let us fight it out because they are ALL cowards! lol did you just judge all married men to be cowards? You do not know what kind of life that married man has led that made him behave that way. you should not judge him.:laugh: OMG for real???? You just said people tend to feel comfortable in their annonymity that they say anything they want without bothering to think or consider others feelings.:laugh: I have a question. Does the other woman EVER bother to think of the feelings of the wife or children? DOUBLE STANDARDS??? You are worried about a few annonymous words on a bulletin board hurting someones feeling when you don't even consider the person whose life you are impacting???
2sure Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 OP it sounds as though you are jealous of this person and seeking a way to cover it by saying you are really concerned for her daughters. Unless you are in a position or want to offer some kind of assistance to the children....why are you so emotionally invested in this woman's behavior? Since so far nothing has happened between this woman & any one else's husband...it sounds like neighborhood gossip. Because she speaks to you directly regarding her own marriage you must be friends of a sort. Tell her how behavior seems to you, and give her the choice to change it or no longer confide in you.
Author waytogo Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 In case you missed it along the way, people tend not to like people who try to interfere with their lives. In case you missed it,no one can "interfere" in someone's life,unless invited or allowed to do so.I take it your husband can't handle himself around women so you need to jump to his defense? Did you husband blame her for all? For all you know,his story isn't the whole truth of that "come on". I hope he wasn't shaking in his boots afraid of the "floozy". I'm not sure why you are sad about a question I haven't even answered. I'm not concerned about being superior to her. There is no competition between us on my part.[/QUOTE] Meaning,you are going off on her for no reason then? You truly sound threatened by a woman who is beneath you in your mind.Why? And if she doesn't need you to invalidate her,why are you doing it? And just because she may have flirted with your husband,and come onto a few other men in the neighborhood at a low point in her life,doesn't make her a potential 'homewrecker' or a back stabber.Were any of the other men even married besides your husband? All that anger towards her for this? Wow.Doesn't take much to piss you off. I can't imagine what me questioning you will bring me. If there's no competition because you are so much better than her,what's the big deal? No woman can force a MM to cheat. And if your marriage is a solid as you hope it is, and your husband is "affair proof" no one situation would be cause for such concern. If you didn't feel at all threatened by this woman,you would laugh it off,not feel as though she was a risk to your marriage. You must have been cheated on before to even feel as though anyone could potentially "interfere" in your relationship. I don't know your story.Sorry.But I do see that you have no problem judging others and mocking them....Do you do that to her face,or just behind her back? I hear you.I have never been in a forum that didn't make me wonder...... if humanity exists anymore.I think people tend to feel protected in thier annonymity to say anything they want without bothering to think or consider others feelings.I have left many a place thanks to just that reason.I am sorry you didn't find the support you needed there. It's a shame,that OW and BS's can't coexist within the same forum in order to learn...........not judge and bash and invalidate eachother at every turn. No irony that the MM are NEVER in these places.They let us fight it out because they are ALL cowards! Well...peace out ladies. I have no control of how you feel or think,only my reaction to it and I am done reacting to all this invalidation. But BASH ON if you must. You are extremely defensive about this post. Did GG perhaps get it right that some here see themselves in the person described? There is a difference in flirting and offering one's self up. Some of the other men not open to her come ons were M some not. The neighbor is plain annoying, has no boundaries and doesn't get why she is so avoided by all. No, my H wouldn't go near that on a deserted island if only the 2 of them!
IzzyB Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Nope.I haven't.I know people are falliable and have compassion for thier limitations.I don't call women "floozies" or sl*ts or Wh*res nor do I judge anyone until I know them personally and understand thier situation You don't know this woman from EVE. You only know what this OP's judgemental opinion is of her. That's not enough to go on unless you take issue with OW. And since she wasn't even talking about her being an OW...why are you? You have a way of racking on Ow's every chance you get.It's done passive aggressively and as though you can't handle holding your H accountable,let alone taking any personal responsibilty yourself for your role in his affair. It's ALL the OW's fault that cheating exists is ridiculous and you know it! Or do you? Where in here is there ANY compassion for the OW of the world? No where...that's where. None of your comments had any thing to do with the original post. They are all simply projections of your own skewed and unresolved issues with women you deem "pathetic,desperate chasers" of MM. It's just a gang bang of OW hating righteous wives is what it is. Are you still married to the man who cheated on you? Then go look in the mirror and you justify that to yourself anyway you need to.But don't think some of us aren't aware of your obvious slights and constant blameshifting. At least now I am aware. Everyone...even your cheating husband...has redeeming qualities and issues they need to resolve in thier own time and way. But to know that,one has to have empathy,compassion and forgiveness for others. LOL....We all seek validation from others. There is nothing sad about that. It's human.What we don't need is INVALIDATION. And whenever I see a judgemental, righteous or heartless person I think of this site. http://eqi.org/invalid.htm Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it. How the other person responds to your emotional honesty will depend upon, and be indicative of: (a) how much they respect you. (b) how much they care about you and your feelings. © how insecure and defensive they are. (d) how much they are trying to change or control you. . Well said and I couldnt agree more! Thank you.
pureinheart Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 You really have no clue what your husband said or did to make his OW stick around..now do you? It must be alot easier to blame OW for all so you can justify staying with the man who betrayed you and not look at your part at all. None of us ever heard.... PLEASE leave me alone...I'm happily married!!! I can assure you of that. Her husband begged me to never leave him everytime I begged him to say goodbye! And flirting isn't cheating. The OP is acting like she's above reproach. Get off your high horses ladies.....it's a long way down. And there I was....defending you and spilling my guts. Unreal. Yep..... pride has a long fall DOWN
OldOnTheInside Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I like how everbody is becoming so unnecessarily hostile towards you OP. Touched a sore point. To stay on topic, perhaps you could suggest ways for her to build up her self-confidence. When one of my xW's close friends went through her divorce (with an abusive H no less), she went through that point of emotional vunerability and desperation that this neighbour woman seems to be going through. The friend would have flung herself at any man she could find if we hadn't been there to support her. Took around a year to get back to her old self. During the only conversation I had with my xW's xOM, I remember advising him to see a therapist or counsellor to deal with his latent issues, instead of chasing after married women. To put it bluntly, the guy was pretty ****ed up after his own wife ditched him for another man. Of course, you are under no obligation to help her. Feel free to leave her to her own misery if you wish. I wouldn't blame you if you chose the route of apathy. It's her life afterall.
fooled once Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 I don't see it so much as venom but a shaking the head in disbelief that women behave this way. The woman she describes doesn't sound like someone shamelessly flirting for attention but more like someone that is out to get a man any man whether is is single or married. A pathetic desperation. It is sad she needs a man for validation. Maybe the women should try to befriend her and help her recognize her behavior for what it is. We all judge, even you Heart on. Bevel tho you proclaimed you only do after xyz, you have judged the OP for her feelings. How do you think she should feel that her "friend" hit on her husband? Each of us are entitled to our views and opinions. If a post makes you (general you), move on. Ignore it. The OP knows more of this person than we do.
JaneyAmazed Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 OP it sounds as though you are jealous of this person and seeking a way to cover it by saying you are really concerned for her daughters. Unless you are in a position or want to offer some kind of assistance to the children....why are you so emotionally invested in this woman's behavior? Since so far nothing has happened between this woman & any one else's husband...it sounds like neighborhood gossip. Because she speaks to you directly regarding her own marriage you must be friends of a sort. Tell her how behavior seems to you, and give her the choice to change it or no longer confide in you. I wondered this too. If she is no threat because she's "so fat" and no man would have her, I don't understand the purpose of the post. If she were stealing everyone's husband, I might understand.
Author waytogo Posted May 31, 2011 Author Posted May 31, 2011 I like how everbody is becoming so unnecessarily hostile towards you OP. Touched a sore point. To stay on topic, perhaps you could suggest ways for her to build up her self-confidence. When one of my xW's close friends went through her divorce (with an abusive H no less), she went through that point of emotional vunerability and desperation that this neighbour woman seems to be going through. The friend would have flung herself at any man she could find if we hadn't been there to support her. Took around a year to get back to her old self. During the only conversation I had with my xW's xOM, I remember advising him to see a therapist or counsellor to deal with his latent issues, instead of chasing after married women. To put it bluntly, the guy was pretty ****ed up after his own wife ditched him for another man. Of course, you are under no obligation to help her. Feel free to leave her to her own misery if you wish. I wouldn't blame you if you chose the route of apathy. It's her life afterall. It does seem to have struck a nerve with a few. It's as if they think the post is about them, or could be
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