waytogo Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I had a neighbor whose marraige was ending. Sometimes she said she was ending it, sometimes she said he was. She made a play for a neighbor. Neighbor not interested. Then she wanted to work things out with X, almost X? H. He wasn't interested. I have had the chance to know the daughters. They really are awesome. They are so embarrassed of their mother, and I am embarrassed for them. Neighbor W also tried for a gas station attendant to seek attention. He was finishing his degree and had no interest in the washed up nothing. He was to start a prestigious intern the next week. The daughters are both excellent softball players. This should be a safe place to go, recreation... NO, psycho now has the hots for the softball coach (again, not returned). Here's a real kick, she makes an absolute fool of herself trying for this coach's attention. I'm not going back to the field as I will not be associated with her. She thinks the other mothers on that field are jelous of her. Let's see, they have jobs or no need for one. They have a loving husband or have worked out their lives without one (most of them their have an intact family) . While one characteristic wouldn't matter, I'm listing a group, She's uneducated, though she tries to lie about that, she's fat, she'd be average at best looking if she weren't fat, she has no job. She thinks having 2 daguters is her mealticket in life. The idiot actually came onto my H once. He still can't contain himself laughing that she or anyone would think he'd touch that even if single. If we were in the midwest, I'd wonder if my neighbor was on LS. We aren't. Neighbor asked other neighbor men if they would watch porn with her. She offered things too vulgur to repeap. I'm not sure whether to see some actions as amazingingly sick or desparate or criminal. I'd like to hear from all of you.
FieldFlower Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Hi WTG, Sounds like this woman is so attention starved that she would do anything for a smidge of validation. Sad really, and yeah pathetic. I have one of "those" in my life too, and I had to basically give em the boot. It's one thing to actively seek attention, it's an entirely different ballgame when you cross every boundry you can find in the process. I say stay away from her, be kind if you find yourself in her company, and if she asks, tell her exactly whats up. I have found that although they know they are looking for attention, they have no clue how much of an ass they are making themselves out to be. They find themselves "cute" and think everyone else does too. Seriously, if she hit on your husband, then she isn't a friend, and doesn't deserve to be a part of your life, no matter how small that part is. I have a "friend", that actually went out of her way to make herself available for attention from xMM, after she convinced me that I needed to go NC. I guess she thought I wouldn't mind, she thought wrong. lolol Of course I'm sure she justified it in her mind that he was never mine, and I walked away from it before it went physical, but really, a true friend would do this? So see, their everywhere. Leave her to her drama, if you don't she will find a way to drag you into it. These people NEED to be the center of attention.
Author waytogo Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Hi WTG, Sounds like this woman is so attention starved that she would do anything for a smidge of validation. Sad really, and yeah pathetic. I have one of "those" in my life too, and I had to basically give em the boot. It's one thing to actively seek attention, it's an entirely different ballgame when you cross every boundry you can find in the process. I say stay away from her, be kind if you find yourself in her company, and if she asks, tell her exactly whats up. I have found that although they know they are looking for attention, they have no clue how much of an ass they are making themselves out to be. They find themselves "cute" and think everyone else does too. Seriously, if she hit on your husband, then she isn't a friend, and doesn't deserve to be a part of your life, no matter how small that part is. I have a "friend", that actually went out of her way to make herself available for attention from xMM, after she convinced me that I needed to go NC. I guess she thought I wouldn't mind, she thought wrong. lolol Of course I'm sure she justified it in her mind that he was never mine, and I walked away from it before it went physical, but really, a true friend would do this? So see, their everywhere. Leave her to her drama, if you don't she will find a way to drag you into it. These people NEED to be the center of attention. You are so right FF. Her problem is she can't really get any man's attention. It's not so much she is fat, plenty of women carry a little extra that doesn't hold them back. She is desparate and it shows with her every attempt for attention. She doesn't live in my neighborhood anymore. I do worry that her children will be judged by her. They are embarrassed of her now. It's not fair to them.
Lucky_One Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I'm in the midwest. I'm not your neighbor. And you seem like a first class witch. JMHO.
Seeker Sam Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Wow. You're not very nice at all. I don't get why you are here gossiping about this poor woman. What do you get out of coming here and trashing someone so rudely? What is really ugly is all the hate contained in your post. Pretty unbelievable. Agreed. My reaction while reading was where is this person coming from? What is driving this cutting surveillance of another's life? Perhaps the neighbor is an OW in which case it might be understandable, but as it is ... I'm not sure the designation 'pathetic' here lies with the neighbour?!
Heart On Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Agreed. My reaction while reading was where is this person coming from? What is driving this cutting surveillance of another's life? Perhaps the neighbor is an OW in which case it might be understandable, but as it is ... I'm not sure the designation 'pathetic' here lies with the neighbour?! I assume this is 'driving her'. The idiot actually came onto my H once. He still can't contain himself laughing that she or anyone would think he'd touch that even if single. No need to feel threatened or be mean then. Mind your own business.She is obviously going thru a tough time. No need to laugh at her.You don't know her story or why she feels so desparate. Walk a mile in her shoes......
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 unfortunately people like this don't see themselves as pathetic and desperate. They see themselves as desirable. After all he is willing to risk his marriage for her.
Silly_Girl Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 unfortunately people like this don't see themselves as pathetic and desperate. They see themselves as desirable. After all he is willing to risk his marriage for her. Who is risking their marriage? I didn't see that bit.
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Who is risking their marriage? I didn't see that bit. oh I was just quoting the thoughts that possibly go through the head of a woman who chases after married men. Even if the men don't go for her offer she still gets off on the fact that he flirted with her in her mind.
Silly_Girl Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 oh I was just quoting the thoughts that possibly go through the head of a woman who chases after married men. Even if the men don't go for her offer she still gets off on the fact that he flirted with her in her mind. Tenuous, even for you, gg.
thissecretgirl Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I had a neighbor whose marraige was ending. Sometimes she said she was ending it, sometimes she said he was. She made a play for a neighbor. Neighbor not interested. Then she wanted to work things out with X, almost X? H. He wasn't interested. I have had the chance to know the daughters. They really are awesome. They are so embarrassed of their mother, and I am embarrassed for them. Neighbor W also tried for a gas station attendant to seek attention. He was finishing his degree and had no interest in the washed up nothing. He was to start a prestigious intern the next week. The daughters are both excellent softball players. This should be a safe place to go, recreation... NO, psycho now has the hots for the softball coach (again, not returned). Here's a real kick, she makes an absolute fool of herself trying for this coach's attention. I'm not going back to the field as I will not be associated with her. She thinks the other mothers on that field are jelous of her. Let's see, they have jobs or no need for one. They have a loving husband or have worked out their lives without one (most of them their have an intact family) . While one characteristic wouldn't matter, I'm listing a group, She's uneducated, though she tries to lie about that, she's fat, she'd be average at best looking if she weren't fat, she has no job. She thinks having 2 daguters is her mealticket in life. The idiot actually came onto my H once. He still can't contain himself laughing that she or anyone would think he'd touch that even if single. If we were in the midwest, I'd wonder if my neighbor was on LS. We aren't. Neighbor asked other neighbor men if they would watch porn with her. She offered things too vulgur to repeap. I'm not sure whether to see some actions as amazingingly sick or desparate or criminal. I'd like to hear from all of you. My god, such venom. You have no idea what her life or marriage has been like. For all you know it could have been a living hell her for her. If the marriage is ending and her x doesnt want her, what the hell does it matter to you if she wants to flirt with people. Why does flirting concern you so much? Perhaps after the failure of her marriage, she wants to feel good about herself and attractive again. If she is as appalling as you obviously find her why dont you stay away and mind your business.
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 My god, such venom. You have no idea what her life or marriage has been like. For all you know it could have been a living hell her for her. If the marriage is ending and her x doesnt want her, what the hell does it matter to you if she wants to flirt with people. Why does flirting concern you so much? Perhaps after the failure of her marriage, she wants to feel good about herself and attractive again. If she is as appalling as you obviously find her why dont you stay away and mind your business. I don't see it so much as venom but a shaking the head in disbelief that women behave this way. The woman she describes doesn't sound like someone shamelessly flirting for attention but more like someone that is out to get a man any man whether is is single or married. A pathetic desperation. It is sad she needs a man for validation. Maybe the women should try to befriend her and help her recognize her behavior for what it is.
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I wonder why all the venom to waytogo for posting this. Are people somewhat glimpsing some of themselves in this woman...?
Silly_Girl Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I wonder why all the venom to waytogo for posting this. Are people somewhat glimpsing some of themselves in this woman...? You, gg, are a sneaky little wotsit!!! Most of the time anyone posting about anyone with such disdain here are shouted down. I personally feel the the OP has a serious issue about this woman over and above what she's posted. She obviously has a good deal of interest in her to start a whole thread about her. You must admit, the post was pretty darned cutting... Or is that par for the course in your world?
Heart On Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 oh I was just quoting the thoughts that possibly go through the head of a woman who chases after married men. Even if the men don't go for her offer she still gets off on the fact that he flirted with her in her mind. You really have no clue what your husband said or did to make his OW stick around..now do you? It must be alot easier to blame OW for all so you can justify staying with the man who betrayed you and not look at your part at all. None of us ever heard.... PLEASE leave me alone...I'm happily married!!! I can assure you of that. Her husband begged me to never leave him everytime I begged him to say goodbye! And flirting isn't cheating. The OP is acting like she's above reproach. Get off your high horses ladies.....it's a long way down. And there I was....defending you and spilling my guts. Unreal.
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 You really have no clue what your husband said or did to make his OW stick around..now do you? It must be alot easier to blame OW for all so you can justify staying with the man who betrayed you and not look at your part at all. None of us ever heard.... PLEASE leave me alone...I'm happily married!!! I can assure you of that. Her husband begged me to never leave him everytime I begged him to say goodbye! And flirting isn't cheating. The OP is acting like she's above reproach. Get off your high horses ladies.....it's a long way down. And there I was....defending you and spilling my guts. Unreal. Jeeez? I did not say an ow who was having an affair or in love with a married man. This post had nothing to do with an affair love story. This was about a pathetic woman who chases anyone for a thrill. waytogo was not even talking about an ow in her case. Come on tell me you haven't dissed the little floozie that chases every and any man for attention?
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 You really have no clue what your husband said or did to make his OW stick around..now do you? It must be alot easier to blame OW for all so you can justify staying with the man who betrayed you and not look at your part at all. None of us ever heard.... PLEASE leave me alone...I'm happily married!!! I can assure you of that. Her husband begged me to never leave him everytime I begged him to say goodbye! And flirting isn't cheating. The OP is acting like she's above reproach. Get off your high horses ladies.....it's a long way down. And there I was....defending you and spilling my guts. Unreal. I don't get how you are internalizing her post to your married man begging you to never leave. This had nothing to do with a situation like that. This is about the town tramp that all the men laugh at that thinks she is actually hot. Come on every town has one. lol
Heart On Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) Jeeez? I did not say an ow who was having an affair or in love with a married man. This post had nothing to do with an affair love story. This was about a pathetic woman who chases anyone for a thrill. waytogo was not even talking about an ow in her case. Come on tell me you haven't dissed the little floozie that chases every and any man for attention? Nope.I haven't.I know people are falliable and have compassion for thier limitations.I don't call women "floozies" or sl*ts or Wh*res nor do I judge anyone until I know them personally and understand thier situation You don't know this woman from EVE. You only know what this OP's judgemental opinion is of her. That's not enough to go on unless you take issue with OW. And since she wasn't even talking about her being an OW...why are you? You have a way of racking on Ow's every chance you get.It's done passive aggressively and as though you can't handle holding your H accountable,let alone taking any personal responsibilty yourself for your role in his affair. It's ALL the OW's fault that cheating exists is ridiculous and you know it! Or do you? Where in here is there ANY compassion for the OW of the world? No where...that's where. I wonder why all the venom to waytogo for posting this. Are people somewhat glimpsing some of themselves in this woman...? oh I was just quoting the thoughts that possibly go through the head of a woman who chases after married men. Even if the men don't go for her offer she still gets off on the fact that he flirted with her in her mind unfortunately people like this don't see themselves as pathetic and desperate. They see themselves as desirable. After all he is willing to risk his marriage for her. None of your comments had any thing to do with the original post. They are all simply projections of your own skewed and unresolved issues with women you deem "pathetic,desperate chasers" of MM. It's just a gang bang of OW hating righteous wives is what it is. Are you still married to the man who cheated on you? Then go look in the mirror and you justify that to yourself anyway you need to.But don't think some of us aren't aware of your obvious slights and constant blameshifting. At least now I am aware. Everyone...even your cheating husband...has redeeming qualities and issues they need to resolve in thier own time and way. But to know that,one has to have empathy,compassion and forgiveness for others. It is sad she needs a man for validation. LOL....We all seek validation from others. There is nothing sad about that. It's human.What we don't need is INVALIDATION. And whenever I see a judgemental, righteous or heartless person I think of this site. http://eqi.org/invalid.htm Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it. How the other person responds to your emotional honesty will depend upon, and be indicative of: (a) how much they respect you. (b) how much they care about you and your feelings. © how insecure and defensive they are. (d) how much they are trying to change or control you. WAYTOGO....which one of these reasons do you invalidate this woman? Does it make you feel superior? That's sad to me. Edited May 26, 2011 by Heart On
greengoddess Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 lol I love it. I see judgments all the time on peoples physical appearance but how dare you judge their actual actions. that's the one thing you should judge on is peoples actions. that's how you choose those you associate with. you make a judgment that they have qualities that coincide with your own to be friends.
Author waytogo Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 http://eqi.org/invalid.htm Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it. How the other person responds to your emotional honesty will depend upon, and be indicative of: (a) how much they respect you. (b) how much they care about you and your feelings. © how insecure and defensive they are. (d) how much they are trying to change or control you. WAYTOGO....which one of these reasons do you invalidate this woman? Does it make you feel superior? That's sad to me. In case you missed it along the way, people tend not to like people who try to interfere with their lives. She doesn't need me to invalidate her, she does that to herself. She still tries to act like we are friends. I was friendly to her when no one else in the neighborhood is. When one tries to stab me in the back, all bets are off. I'm not sure why you are sad about a question I haven't even answered. I'm not concerned about being superior to her. There is no competition between us on my part.
Author waytogo Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 My god, such venom. You have no idea what her life or marriage has been like. For all you know it could have been a living hell her for her. If the marriage is ending and her x doesnt want her, what the hell does it matter to you if she wants to flirt with people. Why does flirting concern you so much? Perhaps after the failure of her marriage, she wants to feel good about herself and attractive again. If she is as appalling as you obviously find her why dont you stay away and mind your business. I do stay away from her as much as possible; and it was she who was trying to get into my business
ladydesigner Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 It's human.What we don't need is INVALIDATION. And whenever I see a judgemental, righteous or heartless person I think of this site. http://eqi.org/invalid.htm Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it. How the other person responds to your emotional honesty will depend upon, and be indicative of: (a) how much they respect you. (b) how much they care about you and your feelings. © how insecure and defensive they are. (d) how much they are trying to change or control you. WAYTOGO....which one of these reasons do you invalidate this woman? Does it make you feel superior? That's sad to me. Oh my this post is GREAT! There is a whole lot of INVALIDATION that goes on over at the Infidelity Forum, enough to where I will probably never post there again. i also think this post fits the bill for this thread too.
pureinheart Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 oh my this post is great! There is a whole lot of invalidation that goes on over at the infidelity forum, enough to where i will probably never post there again. I also think this post fits the bill for this thread too. (((((((((((ld)))))))))))
pureinheart Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 (((((((((((ld))))))))))) "LD" should have been in caps, I tried to edit it although it wouldn't take for some reason
Heart On Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 In case you missed it along the way, people tend not to like people who try to interfere with their lives. In case you missed it,no one can "interfere" in someone's life,unless invited or allowed to do so.I take it your husband can't handle himself around women so you need to jump to his defense? She doesn't need me to invalidate her, she does that to herself. She still tries to act like we are friends. I was friendly to her when no one else in the neighborhood is. When one tries to stab me in the back, all bets are off. Did you husband blame her for all? For all you know,his story isn't the whole truth of that "come on". I hope he wasn't shaking in his boots afraid of the "floozy". I'm not sure why you are sad about a question I haven't even answered. I'm not concerned about being superior to her. There is no competition between us on my part.[/QUOTE] Meaning,you are going off on her for no reason then? You truly sound threatened by a woman who is beneath you in your mind.Why? And if she doesn't need you to invalidate her,why are you doing it? And just because she may have flirted with your husband,and come onto a few other men in the neighborhood at a low point in her life,doesn't make her a potential 'homewrecker' or a back stabber.Were any of the other men even married besides your husband? All that anger towards her for this? Wow.Doesn't take much to piss you off. I can't imagine what me questioning you will bring me. The idiot actually came onto my H once. If there's no competition because you are so much better than her,what's the big deal? No woman can force a MM to cheat. And if your marriage is a solid as you hope it is, and your husband is "affair proof" no one situation would be cause for such concern. If you didn't feel at all threatened by this woman,you would laugh it off,not feel as though she was a risk to your marriage. You must have been cheated on before to even feel as though anyone could potentially "interfere" in your relationship. I don't know your story.Sorry.But I do see that you have no problem judging others and mocking them....Do you do that to her face,or just behind her back? Oh my this post is GREAT! There is a whole lot of INVALIDATION that goes on over at the Infidelity Forum, enough to where I will probably never post there again. I hear you.I have never been in a forum that didn't make me wonder...... if humanity exists anymore.I think people tend to feel protected in thier annonymity to say anything they want without bothering to think or consider others feelings.I have left many a place thanks to just that reason.I am sorry you didn't find the support you needed there. It's a shame,that OW and BS's can't coexist within the same forum in order to learn...........not judge and bash and invalidate eachother at every turn. No irony that the MM are NEVER in these places.They let us fight it out because they are ALL cowards! Well...peace out ladies. I have no control of how you feel or think,only my reaction to it and I am done reacting to all this invalidation. But BASH ON if you must.
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