Stephie84 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) Hello everyone, I'm in a really crappy situation! I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we have lived together for 6 1/2 of those years. I have come to a point in our relationship where I am contemplating if I should stay or if I should leave. I love my boyfriend more than anything! He is my world. Everything I do, I do with him in mind. When I look at myself in the mirror I see him and when I look at him I see me. Part of my identity is being with my boyfriend. He has some wonderful characteristics too! He is very goofy and silly, always looking for a reason to laugh. He surprises me with flowers and gifts. He is very loyal and always keeps me in mind. He is attracted to me. He truly loves and accepts me. He wants to marry me. We have so much history and he has helped me through many difficult situations. As I think about getting married and having children, I have to question if he is really the one. When we get in to arguments, he can be verbally abusive. He will yell, cuss and say horrible things to me. This has been an ongoing issue that has shown some improvement in the past year, but just 2 weeks ago, he got upset and cussed at me again. I grew up in a verbally abusive situation as a child, so it really gets to me. I loose all confidence and become very depressed. In fact, over the years, I feel like my personality has been somewhat muted. Maybe because of this. I know that I do not want to bring children in to a situation like this and am not sure if he will change. He says he will. Another issue I am having has to do with his finances. In the past year, he has only overdrafted his account once, but owed the bank a pretty penny from it. Just last month, I found out he was 3 months late on his car payment too. Granted, this situation has also improved, but there are still issues. I want my partner to be responsible with money especially if kids are going to be involved I love my boyfriend more than anything and can’t imagine my life without him. I am wondering if my inability to imagine my future as a single person is a product of him taking away my confidence through his words. Do you think a 30 year old man has the ability to change? I don’t want to be weak, but I don’t want to loose my one shot at love. I have to resign my lease with him soon, so this is something I have to figure out now. Any advise? Edited May 25, 2011 by Stephie84 Format
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