Chi townD Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I confonted her and we are trying to reconsile. Will she continue? I hope not. I read more emails, she tod him she will "slow down" contact. Probably means they are creating new email accounts as we speak. She didn't go anywhere last week, maybe they are playing me again. Slowing down to divert my attention. We are looking for a counselor. I don't know, we'll try. This is a long and winding road ( to quote the Beatles). Thanks for the support WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me? Slow down? Slow Down= Damn, he knows! Now, we have to be a little more creative and a lot more secretive! Dude! You need to blow the whistle on this thing! Affairs thrieve in the darkness. Affairs are like cockroaches. What makes cockroaches scatter? Turning on a light! So, you need to bring this affair out into the light! Expose to your family, her family, her friends, your friends...Tell them that you two are going through some tough times due to her having an ongoing affair and that you need their support! Find out who this OM is and find out if he's married or has a girlfriend. Then expose to her as well. She has the right to know what's going on in her own relationship or marriage. Now your wife will go ballistic! And say stuff like, " Well, I was planning on working on our marriage, but after you told everyone....blah...blah..." Don't listen to it. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!
PegNosePete Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I read more emails, she tod him she will "slow down" contact. Probably means they are creating new email accounts as we speak. WTF dude? Why is she even writing emails to him? Did you not tell her that any further contact with him will result in an immediate divorce?
Memphis Raines Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 I confonted her and we are trying to reconsile. Will she continue? I hope not. I read more emails, she tod him she will "slow down" contact. You just answered your own question. Will she continue? well, obviously not. she didn't tell him its over. She said they will slow it down. So yes, she will continue, and I'm just going to say it, you are playing a fool with the wishful thinking, when you said yourself she doesn't intend to quit.
Mimolicious Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 This takes 2 to 5 yrs to fix-----can the 2 of you handle that--- You know that there must be accountability on her part---no sweeping under the rug What is she willing to do------in actual fact---she cheated, she needs to do all the heavy lifting---to get back in the family She has learned how to lie, be deceitful, manipulate, and connive---along with basically telling you---you are a POS, not worth her while----same for her kids---OTHERWISE WE WOULDN'T BE HERE TALKING WOULD WE?????? Again what is she willing to do---no matter the marital problems,---that did not give her license to drive a dagger thru your heart, and create nuclear winter for your family----YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CHEATING---in any way, shape or form Take your time, do what is needed---but never come across to her as needy, do not beg, nor cry, nor appear weak---she will just "dis" you even more The bolded- Obviously his W can't (or could, heck! She found the quick fix to the little problem!). OP- you really think that you are the one to keep this M glued at this point? Whoa! Your W is banging it with another dude, you feel like D her is going to ruin your family? Oh my... Are you planning on telling her that she's been caught? (sorry, haven't read the full thread. Not sure if you already have)
Mimolicious Posted May 31, 2011 Posted May 31, 2011 Everything you folks are saying logically makes sense to me. I need to find someone here who I can trust to spill my side to. It has been 26 years of my life with her. Too much good is happining with my boys to crush the family. I will be sure they never are treated this way by a woman, trust me. Emotionally, I am in a tail spin. Was it this way for you too and how do you pull out? I have one female co-worker I might be able to trust, maybe to speak with. Advice? No family, no male freinds, no boss will understand or will just tell me to get a lawyer. P The bolded- NO actually, I can't trust you. 1. It's not really under your control to make sure that they are never treated this way AND 2. You are actually teaching them just that... That it is OK to be treated this way. Don't be fooled. You may not really be helping your sons while still M to their cheating mother. Eventually this A will weight down on your household. Don't syke yourself.
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