EmperorR Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) Tried it once and never again So for me zero appeal. Edited May 26, 2011 by EmperorR
sally4sara Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I see a topic asking what the appeal is to men, not a man. To men there is no appeal. It is just a step up from getting an illegal alien in a massage parlor for 30 minutes. It is a point most are willing to settle on. A lot of men settle for life over a 30 minute illegal act with an illegal resident? Odd. For it to be common, you'd think I would have come across at least one instance of this. Instead, I've known many people with step parents. Must be some phenomenon exclusive to me and the people I've met....
taiko Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Sure there are millions of blended families. However the other man's child is not a plus it is a minus. The other woman was just so much more attractive then the childless woman that she was able to beat the childless woman in a race for a specific man in most cases.
sally4sara Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Sure there are millions of blended families. However the other man's child is not a plus it is a minus. The other woman was just so much more attractive then the childless woman that she was able to beat the childless woman in a race for a specific man in most cases. If my husband ever treated my son like a minus, he'd be gone so fast it would take him a month to figure out what happened. But the boy and the man are both true gems. I'm very lucky that way. I think instead, it may have more to do with your values and those of the people you surround yourself with. I'm sorry its been that way for you. I try to mix with kinder, less self serving people. They tend to be less likely to stab you in the back.
Eve Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I never said there were LARGE numbers of men around who feel that way. I don't honestly know the number. However, the statement that there are NO men around who feel that way is flat wrong. I don't know how many women have ex's hanging around, but the number of men who abandon their families and have no interest in their children is not insignificant. And there are still widows around. I don't understand the attitudes of this forum sometimes. It's a dating forum, but the lack of a belief in love is puzzling. Why is it so hard to believe that a high quality (and in demand) man can fall in love with an equally high quality and in demand woman who just happens to have a child? And both be freaking thrilled to find each other? Trust me, it happens. Why don't people believe in love? Both given and returned. I have figured that one out. It is because they have no love to give. They just have opinions and a bit off bodily fluid to give, until that becomes all too familiar. What we need is a meteor strike or two to reduce the population down somewhat. Too many idiots running around nowadays, breeding up society with useless nobodies. Take care, Eve x
Vici0usDelici0us Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 However, given the choice, no man would prefer a woman with kids. ...regardless of the qualities/values that are ON the scale? I was able to score a 37 yo tough bachelor/playa, who was so cynic about "women with kids" that it made me puke a little in my mouth (when I heard his theories) ... At first I swallowed both - his theories and my pride and later *I* (single mother of 3) spit HIM out - confused and desperate for my attention. And I am not sorry about bragging :-) it was quite an experience - creating chaos in his mind and shaking his beliefs to the core....but it's all for better - now he is not THAT cocky and more open minded about humanity
musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 For me, women with children are gross. Its not the children that I dont like because I like children. Its the lingering thought of another guy leaving his mess for me to clean up.
oaks Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 For me there's no special appeal, but I know that many of the single women around my age (late 30s) have children and that some of those mothers will be great people. So, I don't rule them out just for having children. I do have concerns about their availability for dating (eg because of childcare) but then I've dated single women who have availability problems of their own (due to going to the gym / out with their friends / probably dating other guys / doing an evening class etc). I recently went on a date with a single mother, and it did take some extra time for her to confirm the date because she had to arrange childcare, but on the night she was "my date" rather than "somebody's mother" and we had a good time. Hopefully I'll see her again.
oaks Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 For me, women with children are gross. Ouch. Then this comment won't really be for you... but... Its the lingering thought of another guy leaving his mess for me to clean up. It's not always the guy who does the leaving, and there's nothing wrong with asking what relationship she had (or still has) with the father(s), and what relationship the children have with their fathers.
Sith Apprentice Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 They are the fast food of dating. They are the burrito and Plenty of Fish is the drive thru.
J200 Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I am guessing there IS no appeal ; my ex bf's brother said he liked women with kids because they are EASIER (to get into bed) and more DESPERATE (meaning less stuck up and full of themselves). I am guessing being "easier" plus a woman with kids has less options. I am not saying that this is the case; but this is how men perceive women with kids. Some guys prefer a woman with less options available to them (women with kids have less dating options) so the guy has a better chance of scoring.
milkmaterial Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 i think most people here, especially the guys, are thinking of one thing when the word "kids" or "kid" is mentioned, kinda like that kid in problem child (the movie) or a screaming spoiled brat that spits in your face and cries a lot in public (grocery store, church)... those are the type you always hear about, cause we never get to hear that there are cool kids who love to meet people, learn about you, wanna play video games with you or help you in the kitchen (if you are a woman and the single parent is a man). trust me, it exists. ive seen it a lot. granted ive seen more of the brats though, but i think due to my positive mind about these things i see less and lesser of the brats and more of the good ones. also in life, just because the person is single doesnt mean she/he is bad. there is a big possiblity that their other half left them, cheating or change of mind. accepting responsiblity to raise a human being says a lot about someone. its a very selfless act. of course, when you are young, you dont want these things. but i beleive that we dont choose who we fall in love with. i wish we could.
RecordProducer Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Some men have a knight in shining armor complex and put up with a whole lot of crap because they feel they can love a woman into emotional health. Either that or these women are hot. Oh, thanks so much for calling single moms crap that only physical hottness can overcome.
RecordProducer Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) A childless friend of mine is dating a dad of four . . . she is a doctor and he is a janitor. Your friend is a doctor who's dating a janitor with four kids? Wow! What's wrong with her?! I mean a janitor and a whole kindergarten for your friend to support! my ex bf's brother said he liked women with kids because they are EASIER (to get into bed) and more DESPERATE (meaning less stuck up and full of themselves). Characterizing women with kids as easier and desperate may be a matter of flexible statistics, but the fact that your ex LIKED them because of that shows me he was a douche bag. I am not easy or desperate at all -- precisely because I have kids, because all men seem like clowns to me. If anything, single moms may seem easier because they themselevs don't want a relationship with most guys they meet so they use them for sex. I've done this once or twice. Also, single mothers probably look at any guy with low income as a loser, not because they need his money but because they are in a stage of life when they prefer dinner and getaway weekends to happy-hour beer with some 27-year old teenager. I'd say the most self-sufficient, high-income, smart, educated and hot women are the most desperate to find someone because they are picky and don't like anybody. But once in a while they have to have sex, too. They are the fast food of dating. They are the burrito and Plenty of Fish is the drive thru. Quite frankly I don't care what men think of single mothers. Just because you think I'm fast food doesn't make me less of Russian black caviar. I am going to charge your credit card $250 anyway! As for drive thru - I'll run over you before you get to mount your bicycle. Edited May 28, 2011 by RecordProducer
Woggle Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Oh, thanks so much for calling single moms crap that only physical hottness can overcome. I never said all single mothers are crap but they do tend to attract men with a knight in shining armor complex.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 One of them married a single mom and found out she expected him to support her and her three kids (her ex was in prison) so he got divorced. Uh, well what did your Einsteinian friend think the scenario was going to be? Surely he knew before marrying (or even proposing!) that she had 3 kids; that their Daddy was in the big house.....it didn't occur to him that they were a 'package deal' and he'd be supporting them? DUH.
taiko Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 i think most people here, especially the guys, are thinking of one thing when the word "kids" or "kid" is mentioned, kinda like that kid in problem child (the movie) or a screaming spoiled brat that spits in your face and cries a lot in public (grocery store, church)... . Actually the bigger concern is baby daddy. Most are not in a Brady Bunch situation when you adopt the kids on the wedding day and the other grandparents, much less daddy never show their faces. Secondary to that is that you will always be second to the child
Kriss Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 She looked like a young Julia Roberts Julia Roberts looks like Mr. Ed's sister.
Kriss Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 For me, women with children are gross. Its not the children that I dont like because I like children. Its the lingering thought of another guy leaving his mess for me to clean up. That's natural because it's another man's DNA in those children not yours.
Kriss Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_v63oTveUEGI/SVAo9dskjII/AAAAAAAAHkc/j8mM_ZWDxwM/s400/MrEdWilbur.jpg&imgrefurl=http://welcomebacktopottersville.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-mr-ed.html&h=253&w=250&sz=16&tbnid=_JpPt11hg6Vs6M:&tbnh=111&tbnw=110&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmr.%2Bed%2Bphoto%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=mr.+ed+photo&hl=en&usg=__QqgxnBjT7VzG3y9tWyhlgatFPy0=&sa=X&ei=QZDhTcyaCIvPgAe83JDABg&sqi=2&ved=0CCQQ9QEwBA http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/11114270.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.realbollywood.com/news/2010/02/julia-roberts-advice-women-vday-take-top-off.html&h=400&w=312&sz=23&tbnid=OicAtNdrxJMoaM:&tbnh=254&tbnw=198&prev=/search%3Fq%3Djulia%2Broberts%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=julia+roberts&hl=en&usg=__86tmPJYxIHf05mBY_wzsksPTNbc=&sa=X&ei=WJDhTeX5CYrbgQfrm8mUBg&sqi=2&ved=0CCkQ9QEwAQ
OldOnTheInside Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 IMO having spoken to my friends (one of whom was dating a single mum) a while ago about this subject, I think some men are understandably "scared off" because of the large amount of potential cons against pros for getting involved with a SM compared to a childless woman. Basically, it's because relationships are complicated enough without kids involved.
RecordProducer Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 I never said all single mothers are crap but they do tend to attract men with a knight in shining armor complex.Why is that a complex? I do believe in knights in shining armor (as a genuine style), I just know all people have some crappy character flaws that multiply when they get married, so many relationships fail. But I know not allmen are defensive and scared of everything. Some of the guys here who bash women, I just get the impression they'd be frightened to touch a little spider if it's female.
RecordProducer Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Ahahahahah! I am laughing at how it matched my post. Geez, nature is cruel. Someone on youtube posted: what was god drinking when he made these creatures? Really.
Woggle Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 Why is that a complex? I do believe in knights in shining armor (as a genuine style), I just know all people have some crappy character flaws that multiply when they get married, so many relationships fail. But I know not allmen are defensive and scared of everything. Some of the guys here who bash women, I just get the impression they'd be frightened to touch a little spider if it's female. Because most of the time when a man plays the knight in shining armor he ends up getting royally screwed over. Pick up a damaged kitten and most of the time it will bite you. It's better to let a woman get healthy and sort herself out then her and a man can start a relationship as equals.
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