starmar Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Hi Everyone, I've been a lurker for quite some time. I've been reading the forums and I've been through something lately that unfortunately a lot of us here are experiencing. Hopefully this thread will be therapeutic for myself and anyone who reads or comments. Here goes: About 2 and a half months ago my best friend's nephew (he's 33) started pursuing me. He had been in a long term relationship. A very unstable long term relationship and has 4 children with the ex. I know that should have been a red flag, but I am divorced with 3 children. My ex husband was dysfunctional (diagnosed bipolar and borderline Personality Disorder) so I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt, or rather I empathized with him. He would take me out all the time, get me flowers, email me poems daily...in the last month we were very close physically as well. He would buy groceries, fix broken appliances. He was basically being the person I always wanted to be with. We saw each other daily. About two weeks ago, on my birthday, his ex called me and told me that they had been having sex, he's been buying her flowers etc. Because he spent so much time with me I thought she was trying to sabotage the relationship. And did not believe her. Until this past weekend. He got distant,it was his weekend with his children. When I called him out on his distancing asking him via text if he was mad at me and saying I was starting to feel like a stalker. I had been calling him or texting him for 12 hours with no response and he was very attentive before. He blew up on me. I didnt expect it. I was upset and trying to salvage the relationship he was yelling saying that he needed space, that i was on a strike system and this was my third strike. Just saying very mean things to me...borderline cruel. He told me to go home (i was at work) think about what I wanted and call him that night or next day and hung up on me. I called later that night. No answer. The next day I started getting texts from his phone...it was the ex with pictures of him laying on her bed and her calling me stupid etc etc Now, to be honest I was upset before but after that I couldn't even shed a tear for the guy. Later on that day he tried to come up and pick up some things he left at the house and I told him I didnt want to see him again, if he came to my house I'm calling the cops and went full NC on him. Blocked his number etc etc. In Hindsight, my lesson is: Why did I put myself in this situation? they hadn't been broken up for a long time (4 months) when he started pursuing me. Also in hindsight, he really didn't have anything to offer. I'm not materialistic but I went to college, work in management and make a decent salary that allows me to take care of my family. This guy works as a garbage man making 8 bucks an hour. He was very physically attractive. If I had been more rational in my thinking process with him and less emotional or attracted then maybe I would have avoided this pain. I'm still not crying, I'm a very emotional person so I'm like astonished that I havent broken down..I guess because it was only 2.5 months. It still hard.
Author starmar Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I broke down after writing this How can someone go from being so attentive, nice to cruel overnight... Where is the humanity? How can anyone treat another human being like this? I started smoking again, can't eat and cant stop crying Maybe the shock has worn off and the reality has set in I know my friends feel bad for me I can see it in their faces. Just last week I was telling a good friend that I haven't been so happy in my life with anyone. This guy was making plans for a future. Completely lead me on.
Recommended Posts