hurley21 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Thread after thread is about wanting an ex back or what someone can do to try and get them back. I was given a good, but harsh, dose of reality when someone asked me why I didn't have any self-respect because I was considering taking back and ex who had dumped me MANY times before. So, for all of us dumpees out there- why are we trying to get back someone who didn't want us? Shouldn't we be trying to get someone who is healthier for us, better for us? Just a thought...
overit83 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I think most people would find it difficult to articulate and therefore settle for the simple but elegant answer: love. A little self analysis would probably suggest that it is due to an unhealthy level of co-dependency, poor self-esteem, hurt pride and an inability to handle rejection. There can be no one quality or combination of qualities about an ex that makes you want them back and even if there was these are probably shared by many people you know, if you took the time to remove your rose tinted glasses. I think most people eventually realise it is not rational to idealise or fantasise about one person and think that they hold the key to your future happiness. But it doesn't stop people doing it. It doesn't stop me doing it.
citrusdrop1688 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 It also depends on why they decided to break up with you. In my case it was due to me pushing him away for months before he broke up with me. I want him back because I love him and I've been working alot on myself and I know things could be better. I also know that he loves me alot and that we could have a good future together. I think theres a big difference if your going back to an abusive or unfaithful ex
skibum Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Because she made a rash decision while under an enormous amount of stress. I understnad where she came from because I went through it as well when I started grad school one year prior to her and I almost broke up with her over it. Every day this past year I have thanked God I did not because it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Now she is going through the same thing and is making the biggest mistake of her life. We rarely fought, were completely faithful over 5.5 years, and that is why I want her back.
jacksonBrown Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Thread after thread is about wanting an ex back or what someone can do to try and get them back. I was given a good, but harsh, dose of reality when someone asked me why I didn't have any self-respect because I was considering taking back and ex who had dumped me MANY times before. So, for all of us dumpees out there- why are we trying to get back someone who didn't want us? Shouldn't we be trying to get someone who is healthier for us, better for us? Just a thought... i know when i was dumped i felt sick i woke up every morning thinking about her couldn't eat sleep was just really depressed and even tho i knew it was probably for the best i couldn't get ova that feeling that i had to get her back but only because i knew that was the quick fix for my heart ache, if she came back to me all the feelings of despair and lonliness would vanish in an instant and i would feel better again, thats not a healthy way to be but i think thats why most ppl chase their ex's
HT711 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I want my ex because I've never had a closer friend and never met someone with so many common interests. Outlook on life, wants, spirituality, sexual turn ons, even fashion styles... The attraction and chemisrty is amazing and very mutual. The break was mainly over the 1800 mile seperation between us. But I also let my baggage from my divorce shut her out and I wasnt as caring or affectionate as I should have been. I just hope that over such minor issues, and except for the groveling at the end it was mature, will make a reconcilation easier, and It probably would have already happened if I hadnt gotten needy and pushed her away when she started to date again. She rushed headlong into moving in with a guy in a month. So now I have to wait for that to fail if it does.... In some ways its good because it gives me time to fix what I need to fix to be what she expected and needs. It also sucks because now its going to hurt for a long time and she may settle for who she's with.
tela1425 Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 In my case its because I'm the one that messed up. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time. But, in hindsight I see it now. Nothing serious like cheating or abuse, but smaller stuff. So, that is why, we were very compatible and happy for the most part, I just have some growing up to do. So, I would like another chance to make things right. However, I don't know if I'll ever get one. But, that is my reason. And I think it really depends on the situation. Some people probably shouldn't want their ex back. And some of us should. Each situation is different.
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