StrugglingS Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Hi all, and thanks in advance for any responses. So, things have moved on quite a lot since my last posting on here, NC worked, bar the occasional encounter at work, dated a couple times and met someone new through a mutual friend. ** Yeeesh, I've just read the next paragraph and I can totally see what I need to do. As always though, it's knowing, and wanting to do it. ** So at first I watched myself, didn't let myself get too attached because she was pretty open from the start, she had been in a long-term relationship until about 21 months ago, and still wasn't 100% over him. They're still friends although he's in a new, fairly long-term relationship and lives half the country away. I think my biggest problem is how changeable things are - one moment we will have the nicest time together... the next moment I can't touch her without her pulling her hand away from me. It was my birthday a couple days back, and was seriously thinking about our future together, and all of a sudden she pulls out the most thoughtful and unexpected gift and evening together, and all of a sudden the previous doubt is all gone. Then the next evening, she's not feeling 100% at I just get the feeling she just wants to get away from me, as correct as that may or may not be. No response to a text this morning, then a reply this afternoon saying she's feeling poorly and has taken the day off work. I know this may be a bit over the top, but I'm just really disappointed that I didn't get a reply, or any kind of contact to tell me that, it just makes me wonder what kind of a boyfriend I'm being if she doesn't feel like she could/should tell me something like that. I know what I should do, but I've let her in a bit too much, and all of a sudden the thought of not seeing her again is harder and harder to conceive. I know that different people take different amounts of time to get over someone - it took me a good 2 years to get over my first LT gf, but it's just so frustrating to see her wasting her time on someone who has been completely up front with her about wanting to be with someone else, when we genuinely seem to have a real spark together. Well, most of the time anyway. I've never had someone look at me the way she does - I've never been confident in the way I've looked, but when she looks at me at times, she genuinely wants me, and it's such a rush. Then other times, she seems to look at me as though I'm the biggest idiot on the planet. So yeah, reading back through, I know what the sensible option would be. I can't help wishing she would stay a bit more on an even keel.
sanskrit Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 It's not her prior relationship after 21 months, she's just a nut.
orion1010 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 She's probably dealing with some recent stresses in her life and trying to stay positive around you but those feelings of stress or whatever it is she's thinking about is croping up. I would just be patient if she hasn't always acted this way. If she keeps it up I would just talk to her like you put things above in a nice way asking her what's going on? Let her know you can help and maybe she will open up to you.
Author StrugglingS Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 She's probably dealing with some recent stresses in her life and trying to stay positive around you but those feelings of stress or whatever it is she's thinking about is croping up. I would just be patient if she hasn't always acted this way. If she keeps it up I would just talk to her like you put things above in a nice way asking her what's going on? Let her know you can help and maybe she will open up to you. You're right of course - I was just hoping for something less... complicated. Between work and potentially going back to University, she's been the least stressful and happiest part of my life when she's not being funny with me. Unfortunately I've not known her long enough to know if this is normal, or how long it's likely to go on for.
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