boomer123 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 So I was in a relationship with this girl for the last 5 months best time I’ve had in the last few years, I really pulled out my A game I was impressed by this girl she had everything I wanted. She told me she had issues with relationship but attitude towards she was over the moon that met me, she met my parents and we went away together. We saw each other twice a week as we are both busy with work. I always gave her option on doing stuff I never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do, like when I said to her do you want to meet my parents she really wanted to and when she did meet them I saw her text her mom saying she loved them and loved me even more. She was even pushing me to introduce to my friends. So last month we went away for a week had amazing time until she was ill for the last two days. I wasn’t too bothered about going on holiday didn’t want to rush things but she really wanted to. So we came back more in love which she was texting loads saying she loved me and missed me. She had worked her way in to my head and I was starting to love her and miss her. So met up with her for lunch had a really good lunch her then saw her at the weekend, went for her friends birthday had a good night with all of them. Now this where it all goes wrong she suddenly tells me she doesn’t want to stay round hers at 2am so I lost it being drunk which is not me! I left her that night and went home still texting her and calling her, I was upset and wasn’t thinking right. She texts a couple of days later that she wants to talk which results in me getting dumped, she states that she doesn’t know what’s going on in her and she all mixed up. So I haven’t contacted her since, so some how I get into conversation with her friend and I decide to ask him if “does he think will get back together?” and he says “ not at this moment of time” I said why and he said “She just goes hot and cold for no reason”. I am really confused from the whole situation I’m carrying on with my life but in my head I can’t work out what went wrong. So my question is have I just being used by her for the last 5 months? Did she really mean it when she said she loved me? How could some go from really hot and then cold the next minute?
PegNosePete Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Sounds like a textbook case of third party involvement.
EgoJoe Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Yeah dude, just don't even talk to her. It will all become clear.
smudge21 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Sadly some people are like that. They find something/someone new, have a great whirlwind time with them, and then suddenly they lose interest (or something/someone else comes along that gets their interest). I think a lot of that comes from insecurity which leads to people never being happy and always wanting more. For my ex, it was attention she sought, always wanting people to want be around her. She ended it with me similar - one day we're texting like crazy, then come 4pm it stopped. Nothing, no replies for a few days then it was all cold stuff. Like we were just back to friends again. There is no way to change these people in my opinion as they have to get this out of their system on their own. You can't force them to change, as that just pushes them away. Best bet is to tell her how you feel and let her know you do wish it could've been more... and then walk away. Some will say don't bother saying goodbye, but if you do that, you risk regretting never letting her know how you truly felt. As far as you know it's not like she's been cheating or met someone else, so it's really all just down to her state of mind. In that case, be as nice as you can be about the split and be honest with her. The fact remains, that if you stay around chasing her, she'll never come back - you can't force her to change. But if you walk away now, then maybe she may realise what she had and start to miss you. I can't say for definite, there's no rule book here. I learnt one thing from my situation and that was that it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could've done to change it.
Author boomer123 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I feeling enraged by the whole process that I feel like emailing her my grievances!
Author boomer123 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Thank smudge. I think I'm going to write her email with my feelings and how she has treated me, when we split up I was so shell shock I never told how she made me feel! I've not contacted her since we collected each others stuff and I've not wanted to. I still want her back tho Doh!
WTRanger Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Thank smudge. I think I'm going to write her email with my feelings and how she has treated me, when we split up I was so shell shock I never told how she made me feel! I've not contacted her since we collected each others stuff and I've not wanted to. I still want her back tho Doh! Don't email her. It'll do no good at this point, other than possibly stir up trouble. Just write that email if you have to, but never send it. In fact, write it on paper just so you don't actually "accidentally" send it. When someone is hot/cold, and during their cold streak there isn't anything humanly possible you can do to make them open up. The more your try, the worse it gets. The best thing to do right now is nothing at all. Just focus on you and you alone.
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