My boyfriend of 1,5 years doesn't want to go swimming with me, whats up with that?

[zlatnapolja]

Hej guys! My BF have been dating for about 1,5 years. We've had our ups and downs but we're very much in love. Now here's a question: He doesn't want to go swimming with me, whats up with that? It bothers me because ever since I was little I love to swim, I'm like a little mermaid hahaha. But he wants to go swimming with everybody accept me, I don't understand?

Is he embarrased by me? Is he jalous? I so don't get it, it feels like bullying to me, because he knows how much I want this.

 

I asked him a couple of times, but he said stuff like: I want to work out a little bit more etc. But he swims with his friends, he goes swimming every freekin week, he used to go swimming with his ex. What could it possibly be that he doesn't want to go swimming with me? Thanks if you even read all of this:p Please help me?

[thatone]

well, that's a new one, lol.

[zlatnapolja]

well, that's a new one, lol.

 

Hahaha yea thats why I dont get it, any ideas?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Maybe experiment... make plans to go swimming at a pool/beach in a nearby town... one that won't have some certain circle of his buddies around... and find out if such an outing goes, uh, "swimmingly".

 

Then you'll be able to narrow your focus as to what his problem is.

[zlatnapolja]

Maybe experiment... make plans to go swimming at a pool/beach in a nearby town... one that won't have some certain circle of his buddies around... and find out if such an outing goes, uh, "swimmingly".

 

Then you'll be able to narrow your focus as to what his problem is.

 

its so frustrating, I mean.. sex is good, I snooped around in his computer one day and the only 'just opened files' I could find were pictures of me hehe! And jalousy, he denies being jalous, but he almost hit my boss ones for standig to close to me. Even so, he know that if I don't go swimming with him, that I'll go with friends which (I think) would be even worse.

Even if he doesn't like swimming (which he does, he swims about 2-3 times a week and will tell me about it... arhgh ) he can still do it, because he loves me, right? What kind of dominant mindgame is this

[zlatnapolja]

By the way I'm not 13 or anything, I'm 20 years old, I just enjoy swimming!

[zlatnapolja]

He might be self-conscious around you being in that state of undress.

 

If your wardrobe is a bunch of skimpy little numbers and he has taken you amongst his people then I doubt it would be embarrassment.

 

this really sucks:( I feel like I'm doing something wrong. If anything it should be the other way around, you know. Women are supposed to be a pain in the ass about these sort of things, not men.

[zlatnapolja]

I don't know enough about your situation to know for certain.

 

I do know a guy who won't swim at all. He became self-conscious about his body when he was in middle school. He's now well into his twenties.

 

Yea I was thinking about this, but my BF is extremely athletic and even if he were selfconcious.. He swims 2-3 times a week with friends and I mean he has sex with me, so I dont really think its selfconciousness. He's just so freaking complicated with EVERYTHING hehe. But thank you so much for helping!

 

Im wondering if its just some sort of control game or just bullying. I mean.. it's just to weird!

[threebyfate]

Bullying, how so? Someone refusing to do something with you, isn't trying to coerce you in any way. If anything, if you're nagging him to do something he doesn't want to do, that would be more inline with bullying.

 

As a guess with almost no information, it's possible if you keep telling him what a little mermaid you are, he might feel like you're trying to compete with him which doesn't appeal.

[zlatnapolja]

Bullying, how so? Someone refusing to do something with you, isn't trying to coerce you in any way. If anything, if you're nagging him to do something he doesn't want to do, that would be more inline with bullying.

 

As a guess with almost no information, it's possible if you keep telling him what a little mermaid you are, he might feel like you're trying to compete with him which doesn't appeal.

 

Thats an assumption you made for yourself. I allready talked about this to him a long time ago, because it is odd that he'll swim with anyone but me. It's not like I ask him every day or week or every month for that matter.

 

if you dont like the thread than dont respond, its a very bitter reaction.

 

PS the mermaid thing was a joke, that I never told him since i have plenty of other jokes I tell him;) have a nice evening

[alexlakeman]

Dump him....

 

 

 

Personally, I love the water and outdoors. And that's been a deal breaker once or twice , when they say they don't like the beach or don't like the outdoors b/c of "bugs" or whatever the reason.. screw it... Although it sounds petty compared to other "deal breakers", don't give it up...

[thatone]

Dump him....

 

 

 

Personally, I love the water and outdoors. And that's been a deal breaker once or twice , when they say they don't like the beach or don't like the outdoors b/c of "bugs" or whatever the reason.. screw it... Although it sounds petty compared to other "deal breakers", don't give it up...

 

really?

 

she said they have been together for a year and a half.....

 

unless they live on a beach i highly doubt this is that big a deal.

[Miss Clavel]

Hej guys! My BF have been dating for about 1,5 years. We've had our ups and downs but we're very much in love. Now here's a question: He doesn't want to go swimming with me, whats up with that? It bothers me because ever since I was little I love to swim, I'm like a little mermaid hahaha. But he wants to go swimming with everybody accept me, I don't understand?

Is he embarrased by me? Is he jalous? I so don't get it, it feels like bullying to me, because he knows how much I want this.

 

I asked him a couple of times, but he said stuff like: I want to work out a little bit more etc. But he swims with his friends, he goes swimming every freekin week, he used to go swimming with his ex. What could it possibly be that he doesn't want to go swimming with me? Thanks if you even read all of this:p Please help me?

 

Do you wear an Amish bathing suit in the water? Are you wearing a bathing suit that is too small for you? Perhaps you need to wax?

 

Everything seems to be alright except when it comes to the water so I'm guessing it's got something to do with how you act/look in the water?

 

Do you drink too much, are you shouting at the fish? Are you removing too much clothing??

 

Ask him.

[zlatnapolja]

Hehehe yea these last two comments made me smile, thanks! The twist in the whole story is that he says 'he's not ready to go swimming with me yet'. It's not like marriage:p Again the guy swims 2-3 times a week, he just doesn't want to swim with me (yet)! I'm so confused about it

[snug.bunny]

I've never heard of such a thing. Do you make pee pee in the pool or something? Blow snot bubbles?

[zlatnapolja]

I've never heard of such a thing. Do you make pee pee in the pool or something? Blow snot bubbles?

 

Hehehe, no!! I'm an OCD cleanlinessfreak hehe. People this is a guy that I've been having sex with for a really really long time, a guy that I've been taking showers with on a regular basis etc. This problem has a really high WT*-level, I know that, but please:p help!

[snug.bunny]

Hehehe, no!! I'm an OCD cleanlinessfreak hehe. People this is a guy that I've been having sex with for a really really long time, a guy that I've been taking showers with on a regular basis etc. This problem has a really high WT*-level, I know that, but please:p help!

 

Tell him you have a surprise for him, blindfold him, and then take him to a pool or a lake and lead him to the water. Wear a cute little bathing suit and take off his blind fold, and yell "surprise"! If he refuses to go into the water, then just club him over the head with your shoe.

[zlatnapolja]

Do you wear an Amish bathing suit in the water? Are you wearing a bathing suit that is too small for you? Perhaps you need to wax?

 

Everything seems to be alright except when it comes to the water so I'm guessing it's got something to do with how you act/look in the water?

 

Do you drink too much, are you shouting at the fish? Are you removing too much clothing??

 

Ask him.

 

Hehehehe! No but you would think wouldnt you? You know what, come to think of it whenever the water touches my legs, they turn into a tail, that might freak him out:p

[zlatnapolja]

Tell him you have a surprise for him, blindfold him, and then take him to a pool or a lake and lead him to the water. Wear a cute little bathing suit and take off his blind fold, and yell "surprise"! If he refuses to go into the water, then just club him over the head with your shoe.

 

Wow thats a good idea! You know reading all of your reactions made me realize how retarded this is. Maybe I should just attack him with one of those waterguntoys for childeren while dressed as a clown (that would freak me out)

[snug.bunny]

Wow thats a good idea! You know reading all of your reactions made me realize how retarded this is. Maybe I should just attack him with one of those waterguntoys for childeren while dressed as a clown (that would freak me out)

 

lol, you could try that too...

 

Happy to help! Bless thy young silly hearts.

[zlatnapolja]

lol, you could try that too...

 

Happy to help! Bless thy young silly hearts.

 

Thank you dear, thy has been a very good help this evening!