confused2134 Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Why is it that people look for something right after a break up? My ex dumped me 3 months ago and just started talking to some guy. I don't care. No big deal. But she went the first 17 years of her life without a boyfriend why is it that she looks for something and jumps into something so soon after? Reading other posts it seems like the same thing happens a lot.
ShoeGurl1973 Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I think in general its either of two scenarios: 1. It appears they found someone immediately afterwards, however, they really liked this person before the actual breakup and had them lined up. 2. They breakup and immediatley are alone, not realizing how it really feels to be truely alone. THey need someone to fill that void and validate them.
Author confused2134 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Posted May 24, 2011 I don't think either of those sound like the could end up working out at all. Haha.
homebrew Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) Like most people in my twenties, I was in-secure and not comfortable being alone. So I wanted to be with someone after I got dumped. Most of the time that didn't work out to well because my self esteem and confidence just got crushed. Women seemed to be able to detect that from a mile away and wanted nothing to do with me. If i was successful it was when a women took pity on me (which didn't work out to well for her in the end.) In my thirties, I was comfortable in my own skin and although I didn't like it... I choose to take time off after getting dumped for the sake of me and the women out there that I would end up hurting. I know what is best and healthy for me, which is, time off after a break up. By choosing not to rebound after a break up, It shows that I had experienced enough karma from rebounding / "using" women in my twenties to know better and to have compassion for would be victims. I guess... I grew up! Edited May 24, 2011 by homebrew
Fedor Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Some people just cannot stand being alone. Most likely insecure or somthing to that extent. @EgoJoe I was also wondering the same. lol
Beeotch Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Why is it that people look for something right after a break up? My ex dumped me 3 months ago and just started talking to some guy. I don't care. No big deal. But she went the first 17 years of her life without a boyfriend why is it that she looks for something and jumps into something so soon after? Reading other posts it seems like the same thing happens a lot. Breakups are painful....lots of people feel a gaping void in their life. They go from having someone constantly to not having anyone at all....so many people go into a panic mode and grab for someone else to fill that void. I know the feeling, I have felt that empty feeling and just wanting someone there; however, I know it subsides and I made the conscious decision not to enter into any fly by night relationships as an emotional bandaid. I'd rather hang with friends to fill the void than get a replacement bf. But some people only react and don't think and just rashly go out and do this....it's almost like an automatic response and A LOT more people seem to engage in rebound scenarios post-break up than those who take the time to heal and to come to their senses before they embark on a new romantic adventure.
homebrew Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) Are you really a Doctor Homebrew? No, I just play one on TV.... Disclaimer (For WTRanger) The opinions expressed in this response are my own. All the information I present in regards to Break Ups, Second Chances and Healing are based on my own experiences. I also use information and data that I have collected from friends, family members and the homeless guy down the street. While I strive to provide accurate and informative advice and information within my posts, I am sorry to say that I sometimes get inspiration, thoughts, ideas, quotes, concepts, suggestions, tips, etc. from other sources that I have read, heard or seen on TV, Radio, Books, Movies, Internet, Billboards, Magazines, Newspaper, Bumper Stickers, Graffiti, Fortune Cookies, etc. Please use your discretion before making any decisions based anything that I may post. *As always, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider before acting upon anything I suggest, recommend or encourage you to do* This disclaimer is to appease WTRanger and freee Homebrew of any liability if negative consequences result from my efforts. Edited May 25, 2011 by homebrew
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