Timmeh Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 This latest episode with my girlfriend had me contemplating whether or not I should end my relationship. I had NO contact with her for 3 days. She went on a trip with her parents to see her brother. I didn't get a single word from her for those 3 days. I ran into her dad today, and I asked him how the trip went. It turns out she got back at midnight. Well... I told her via text I was starting to worry at 11:55 pm, and I said other random things about my weekend. She didn't answer until 3:55 pm... She told me that she forgot her charger at home and the phone died halfway through the trip. Well... IT DOESN'T TAKE ALMOST 16 HOURS FOR A PHONE TO CHARGE..... No consideration what so ever, and it's only an extension of insecurities I've been having. Lately I've only been seeing her once every 6 days, and she has a pretty open schedule. She has been going on trips with friends, and family a lot so the weeks have been cut short. (I know she's being truthful about the trips, friends and family always discuss them). I know she's going on trips but the first thing she cuts time from is US. She makes no effort to invite me places, I have to always invite her, and our conversation outside of when we see each other is speratic. When I'm with her she is very affectionate and warm. She is an awesome person... In fact I don't think I ever clicked with another human being as much as a click with her. She's my best friend already and I love her dearly. However her actions are hurting me... It makes me feel like she doesn't care about the relationship. If you truely love somebody I feel that you should want to spend time with them... not be shoved off to the "if I have time I will" pile. Should I end it now? Or should I just put her on a short leash?
ladyinlimbo Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I think ending it might be a little premature. I would suggest sitting down and really having a heart to heart talk with her about how you're feeling, though. Don't have the conversation via email or texting; it needs to be in person, IMO.
LonerGirl Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Should I end it now? Or should I just put her on a short leash? I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "keep her on a short leash", but if you haven't already I think you should just say to her that you enjoy spending time with her and would like to spend more time alone with her. Then see what she says. If she say she is too busy with traveling then either wait until she isn't going away as much and see what happens or try to make some plans with her for the future after she is done going on trips. If she doesn't know that you feel like she's ignoring you she won't know you want to spend more time with her. If she disregards your feelings however the you might want to end it or tell her your relationship doesn't seem like a priority in her life.
Author Timmeh Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 So I had a talk with her and I didn't say all I wanted to because I was nervous. Somethings worried me though... it's almost if she doesn't care going 6 days without seeing me. She said that she feels depressed a day after she see's me then she doesn't miss me all that much after that. Should I be worried? I almost feel that she's content going 6-7 days without seeing me. I'm not fine with that at all.
vsmini Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 So I had a talk with her and I didn't say all I wanted to because I was nervous. Somethings worried me though... it's almost if she doesn't care going 6 days without seeing me. She said that she feels depressed a day after she see's me then she doesn't miss me all that much after that. Should I be worried? I almost feel that she's content going 6-7 days without seeing me. I'm not fine with that at all. I felt like this with my ex. I always felt like I was making the plans and wanted to see him while he just saw me when he felt like it and seemed to be luke warm. He was affectionate and seemed like a great person I clicked with but in the end it was just too exhausting and it started to wear on me. I often felt that he was content with out seeing or talking to me for several days in a row and I just didn't get that. It wasn't that he was independent - you can still be independent and keep continuous contact with your SO. I'm with a person now that matches my availability and we both agree on the amount of time spent on seeing each other. No guessing games, none of this "one person holds the power card while the other waits for the SO to make plans" It's equal. It's fantastic - if it gets too difficult after this talk I say walk. I've been in a very similar situation and it didn't work out well for me.
Author Timmeh Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I felt like this with my ex. I always felt like I was making the plans and wanted to see him while he just saw me when he felt like it and seemed to be luke warm. He was affectionate and seemed like a great person I clicked with but in the end it was just too exhausting and it started to wear on me. I often felt that he was content with out seeing or talking to me for several days in a row and I just didn't get that. It wasn't that he was independent - you can still be independent and keep continuous contact with your SO. I'm with a person now that matches my availability and we both agree on the amount of time spent on seeing each other. No guessing games, none of this "one person holds the power card while the other waits for the SO to make plans" It's equal. It's fantastic - if it gets too difficult after this talk I say walk. I've been in a very similar situation and it didn't work out well for me. Well... she is very independent and as I'm finding out a little anti-social. It turns out people always have to reach out to her. Sometimes she just disapears and nobody knows where she goes. (this has never happened to me but her friends and family say she has a tendency to do that sometimes). I'm still trying to figure it out... whether she is luke warm or if it's just who she is. It is a little disheartening to me that she is ok going a week without seeing me, and I look at other couples and they can't go 3-4 days.
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