EyeAlone Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I had a recent relevation that all of the "problems" in my relationship with my boyfriend have all been created in my mind. For example, I was worried that he was interested in a girl that he plays racquetball with or vice versa. I let it eat away at me for about a month. Then one day he mentions in passing that she has a boyfriend and probably will get married to him. I wasted so much time worrying about her My current "problem" is another girl who works for him. She's completely his type and they see each other often since they work together. He has told me that he could never date her because she's only a freshman in college and it's like she's practically a high schooler (he's 26 years old) and also because she works for him. He said this unprompted. I think we were just having a conversation about age differences and he used her as an example. I didn't pry it out of him. Although he told me that I can't stop worrying about it. Whenever he or she posts on each others' wall on Facebook, I mentally freak out. I know that if he's going to cheat on me there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm just sick of it all. I feel like I'm not fully enjoying the relationship because I'm always on edge waiting for something bad to happen. Yes, I have been cheated on in the past. I don't know what to do.
OriginalPenguin Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I had a recent relevation that all of the "problems" in my relationship with my boyfriend have all been created in my mind. For example, I was worried that he was interested in a girl that he plays racquetball with or vice versa. I let it eat away at me for about a month. Then one day he mentions in passing that she has a boyfriend and probably will get married to him. I wasted so much time worrying about her My current "problem" is another girl who works for him. She's completely his type and they see each other often since they work together. He has told me that he could never date her because she's only a freshman in college and it's like she's practically a high schooler (he's 26 years old) and also because she works for him. He said this unprompted. I think we were just having a conversation about age differences and he used her as an example. I didn't pry it out of him. Although he told me that I can't stop worrying about it. Whenever he or she posts on each others' wall on Facebook, I mentally freak out. I know that if he's going to cheat on me there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm just sick of it all. I feel like I'm not fully enjoying the relationship because I'm always on edge waiting for something bad to happen. Yes, I have been cheated on in the past. I don't know what to do. How long have you guys been together? I can relate to this as I have similar insecurities about my GF. She does all she can to reassure me but those thoughts still linger. Funny you mentioned the girl from work, as she has a guy friend that she has known for years who obviously has a crush on her but she always says things like that, hes not my type, just a friend, etc. The advice I have been given may apply to you; if he is with you then try to accept that for what it is. Having been cheated on before does make it more difficult but try to operate on an "innocent until proven guilty" mindset. From what you describe it sounds like it is all in your head, unless he has given you specific reason to worry?
Author EyeAlone Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 How long have you guys been together? I can relate to this as I have similar insecurities about my GF. She does all she can to reassure me but those thoughts still linger. Funny you mentioned the girl from work, as she has a guy friend that she has known for years who obviously has a crush on her but she always says things like that, hes not my type, just a friend, etc. The advice I have been given may apply to you; if he is with you then try to accept that for what it is. Having been cheated on before does make it more difficult but try to operate on an "innocent until proven guilty" mindset. From what you describe it sounds like it is all in your head, unless he has given you specific reason to worry?I'm glad I'm not the only one that's dealing with this, but I'm sorry that you're suffering with this, too. We've been together for over half a year. I don't think he's given me a specific reason to worry but there was this one situation that made my radar go off. We were talking about our own friends and he said, "You can meet my friends and see which ones you have to worry about." He was joking but I can't get that statement out of my head. He gives me the impression that he's very aware of who has/had a crush on him. For instance he'll say "Oh this girl had a big crush on me back when I was in college" and "This girl has a crush on me even though I told her I didn't want to date her for specific reasons." I'm friends with people who had crushes on me in the past so it would be very unfair for me to fault him for doing the same. But the thing is my ex who cheated on me reassured me that there were no other girls in the picture. HAHA whatever. I believed him and he strung me along for months before finally confessing. I DO NOT want that to happen again. Are there certain signs that I should be looking for?
Recommended Posts