eerie_reverie Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I don't get it... what is "bigender"? If you relate to both why bother with switching?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Ok and the problem with that? You have something in common with them and better understand one another. What would that be? Being gay and being transgender are totally different. Weather from what I presume is your heterosexual, heteronormative posittion they are the same... they are not to us. Gay men are manly and masculine males in most every way. They abhor anything about them that is feminine. They seek partners who are masculine and straight acting. Lesbian women for the most part like to be feminine and want partner who are feminine an abhor the things about them which are masculine. Transgender people just express their gender differently than other people. We do not adhere to the binary gender norms. Some to the extent of being biologically male but having surgery to make themselves as much as medical science will allow female or vice versa. Understand? (This is why I did not bring this up in the first place. People will fixate on it and ignore any other issues. ) Betterdeal whatever. I am sorry that my well earned pride in my accomplishments is a bad thing. @eerie_reverrie Well some people identify totally with the opposite gender and feel that their body is wrong without having sexual reassignment surgery. Those people do change totally. I identify somewhat with both genders so I have changed somewhat. I once thought I wanted SRS but then realized I was happy enough without it.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 @ Heartbroke kid. Thankyou that is the kind of advice I have been looking for. Chatting online with people (Where things like ones physical body can't be an issue) is something I can try. I have shyed away from that for a while... since leaving AOL a long time ago. Thanks.
eerie_reverie Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 What would that be? Being gay and being transgender are totally different. Weather from what I presume is your heterosexual, heteronormative posittion they are the same... they are not to us. Gay men are manly and masculine males in most every way. They abhor anything about them that is feminine. They seek partners who are masculine and straight acting. Lesbian women for the most part like to be feminine and want partner who are feminine an abhor the things about them which are masculine. Transgender people just express their gender differently than other people. We do not adhere to the binary gender norms. Some to the extent of being biologically male but having surgery to make themselves as much as medical science will allow female or vice versa. Understand? (This is why I did not bring this up in the first place. People will fixate on it and ignore any other issues. ) Betterdeal whatever. I am sorry that my well earned pride in my accomplishments is a bad thing. @eerie_reverrie Well some people identify totally with the opposite gender and feel that their body is wrong without having sexual reassignment surgery. Those people do change totally. I identify somewhat with both genders so I have changed somewhat. I once thought I wanted SRS but then realized I was happy enough without it. I'm sorry, I lost you when you were stereotyping everyone.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Well I can't write a personalized explaination that will apply to every gay person without generalizing. The bottom line is that gay men do not date transgender women. Why didn't you complain about the stereotype that all non straight people "have things in common." ? I wonder :/
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Gay men are manly and masculine males in most every way. They abhor anything about them that is feminine. They seek partners who are masculine and straight acting. Lesbian women for the most part like to be feminine and want partner who are feminine an abhor the things about them which are masculine. Oh, my! You don't know very many gay people of any gender, do you? You clearly aren't qualified to speak for "them" and what "they" are like and do like. My life is overflowing with queenly primping gay boys as well as completely butch dykes, as well as those who avidly embrace their assigned gender characteristics. Get out more, MrLonely.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Mme I will not be what some of you call humble because I will not kiss anyones ass to make them like me. Which seems to be what some people think I a lowly black tranny ought to do. You and those who agree with you need to check out why it is you are so insecure that my well earned pride in my accomplishments strikes shuch a cord. Mehaps it's because you yourself have done so little? While I literally balance the universe on a sheet of paper.
FlowerGirly Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Oh, my! You don't know very many gay people of any gender, do you? You clearly aren't qualified to speak for "them" and what "they" are like and do like. My life is overflowing with queenly primping gay boys as well as completely butch dykes, as well as those who avidly embrace their assigned gender characteristics. Get out more, MrLonely. are you angry? some of your posts come across very sarcastic or almost mean.. just curious
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 are you angry? some of your posts come across very sarcastic or almost mean.. just curious Honestly, I am not angry in general, but some posts and some posters do irk me. A person presuming to tell the world what gay men and women are like as if they have absolute authority on the matter while completely generalizing and denying entire large populations of members in that group, (feminine gay men and masculine lesbians, which really do exist! In droves! And without "abhorring" themselves!) in a thread where that poster is pretty much whining the whole time that nobody likes him / her because of those other peoples' unfair prejudices and faulty generalizations ... did kind of cause a flare up! In any case, I have been 'round the block with Mr/MsLonely many a time about all of these matters. She/he refuses to engage with me on any of the valid and potentially helpful points I bring up, preferring to decide that I, and the rest of the world, am prejudiced against trannies of color (in a past thread, though, it was because I had issues around expected behavior of Black MEN; difficult to keep track), smart people, etc. I'll just give up now, with this one. And sorry for the thread jack!
betterdeal Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) Betterdeal whatever. I am sorry that my well earned pride in my accomplishments is a bad thing. I don't care about your accomplishments. I care, primarily, about how you treat me. If I say I feel something negative because of something you do, and you keep doing it, what option do I have left to increase my happiness, but to walk away? The subject matter of our conversation is, like most, in most situations, with most people, secondary to the way in which the conversation is conducted. It is in how we interact with, react, and respond to other people that those other people see us, not in whatever we choose to spend the rest of our time on. We could be talking about bee-keeping for all it matters. If we show willingness to learn from and have respect for other people's feelings, and act in good humour and good faith, we create trust. If, like you do, (and I used to frequently) respond defensively, with sarcasm and evading the crux of the matter (i.e. the feelings we evoked in the other person) we create distrust. You have a degree? Great, well done! You're not my superior because of that. You talk about lottery winners and aristocracy. That's material wealth. So what? All of us with water, food, houses, clothing, health are as wealthy as anyone needs to be happy. Are we superior to the 7 year old boy breaking rocks to make gravel in Nepal? No. We're just materially luckier. In the global class system, you're right up there with the rest of the aristocracy. Once you stop thinking of everyone as being competition, and start reacting to what you and they are doing presently, now, with less aggressive responses, when you learn humility such as Einstein had, when you stop casting yourself as Mr Lonely, and choose to take the risk of being hurt, you'll find interacting with other people is not such hard work, and so will they you. Most people, most of the time, are not out to get you. Some people, some of the time are. Humility doesn't mean you bend over and grease up in every situation. It means you assume the best, you give people chances, you let your interaction with them be the thing you and they enjoy at that time. And when someone does hurt you, you do things to stop the hurt, which in 99.999% of cases doesn't mean doing something to hurt them back. It's the same with nice guys moaning about girls liking bad boys. It's not the brushes with the law, the chain smoking or the incredibly bad BO that they like. It's that they are nice to them, whereas the nice guy is actually, at that moment, sullen, silent, suspicious and bringing nothing to the table, which is not very friendly, is it? Perhaps read up on assertiveness techniques, and CBT. I also recommend the book I am currently reading, The Consolations of Philosophy. You're trying to improve, as is evinced by your many threads and conversations here, and you will get there, you will find happiness in yourself and your world. It will just take a little more open-mindedness, and time. It's all just self-improvement. Once you start seeing the world as immovable, and you and your reality as the things that can be changed, you'll have made a great second step. Your first step was in asking for help. Time to start taking that second step. Edited May 27, 2011 by betterdeal
utterer of lies Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 utterer of lies. I take it you are being sarcastic. I am so full of myself for stating what it is I do. No, I wasn't. You are so full of yourself because you think the fact that you work at an university (even if it's only as a student) is something special. Well, it's not. You're simply conceited. Mme You and those who agree with you need to check out why it is you are so insecure that my well earned pride in my accomplishments strikes shuch a cord. Mehaps it's because you yourself have done so little? While I literally balance the universe on a sheet of paper. That's exactly what I mean - you resort to an ad hominem attack against Mme Chaucer just because she doesn't agree with you. For most people, simply having a master's degree is nothing special, just a sign that you're not completely brainless. You behave like it's a nobel prize.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) First off Calling me arrogant is an ad hominem. If you attack someone first you can't complain when they retaliate. Second I think what I am doing is special because unlike most students who are reading books of knowledge other people create I am creating a book of knowledge... my thesis. Third Everone should be as proud of whatever it is they do if they aren't then they lack self esteem. Better deal I don't think of everyone as being competition. ____________________ General Comments. Realize that in real life what I do is not as much of a problem for people. No one has in real life gotten as bent out of shape as some of you people are. In fact as I mentioned in a thread IN REAL LIFE I TRY TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT IT. I once had a whole entire thread about that. I think I know what the real problem is. You all know I study the big bang. People these days have seen umpteen documentaries about it and think they know it. Consider this. If that's what your thinking on some level it's not too different from thinking you could watch 10 episodes of House and Grey's Anatomy and then go be a MD or a resident at a hospital. One of the most difficult things about discussing the big bang with anyone is that everyone thinks they know the theory. Even when I discuss it with a professional scientist I often have to beat them over the head with my textbook before they realize that they didn't know 1/10th as much as they thought. For one thing it was not an explosion. Edited May 27, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
Kamille Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I wish I had another user name, because it's obvious that you've decided somewhere in the past that I'm some sort of "enemy" and you've relegated me in some realm, along with all the other posters you feel are problematic. Meanwhile, I can assure you we're all responding as unique individuals. There was nothing malicious about my suggestion that you observe how successful scientists and successful trannies behave in relationships. That's what I did, a few years ago, when I decided to improve my dating strategies. I observed my most successful girl friends and even asked them loads of advice. I really learned a lot. You are an outstanding human being Mr. Lonely. You've mastered physics, a thing few of us have. It takes nothing away from the rest of us, all while making you unique. I feel that, at least here on LS, you adopt a combative attitude which is perhaps hindering your relationship with some LSers. I have to wonder if you carry the me vs them dichotomy in real life, and if so, if it has an impact on your relationships. Of course, you know best if this is specific to LS, and if so, again, you are free to disregard my observation. My aim isn't to insult you, rather to point out one area that potentially could improve your chances at meeting someone.
start-fresh Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Not that another person telling you the same thing is going to make a difference, but I'll throw my hat in the ring anyway. One's career does not define them. The fact that you can debate the big bang theory and "win" (if that's even possible) with scientists many years your senior says absolutely nothing about your ability to connect on a human level with other people. You have to separate the two. I've kind of learned this recently myself. For many years I focused on my schooling because the success I had in that regard made me feel good and worthwhile. Eventually those schooling related milestones cease to exist and all you're left with is 40 years of work to look forward to, which for most people is mainly mundane. Even if you're a cosmologist or whatever, I'm guessing this tidbit of information will apply to you. Do you have a plan on what you're going to do with your degree? When the university hands you that piece of paper and you walk off the stage, where can you find a job and apply that work? Those are things to consider as you seem to tie a lot of your identity to your studies. I can't even begin to understand what you're going through with your gender identity issues. I know it's hard to connect with people even being more mainstream. But you have to focus on identifying with the things that make us all human when you're talking with other people, not what makes you different because of your intellect. Everyone wants to love and be loved, and have someone to trust and laugh with.
utterer of lies Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Second I think what I am doing is special because unlike most students who are reading books of knowledge other people create I am creating a book of knowledge... my thesis. Haha. Are you serious? For a bachelor's degree, you will have to write a bachelor's thesis, then again for a master, and then again for a PhD. How did you get your bachelor's degree without writing one? Every student goes through that, multiple times usually. Everone should be as proud of whatever it is they do if they aren't then they lack self esteem. Indeed, but there's a limit, which you seem to overstep quite frequently, going after your posts. Realize that in real life what I do is not as much of a problem for people. No one has in real life gotten as bent out of shape as some of you people are. In fact as I mentioned in a thread IN REAL LIFE I TRY TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT IT. I once had a whole entire thread about that. So if it's not a problem, why did you fill an entire thread with delusions of grandeur and how hard it is for you to relate to other people when they're all soooo much less intelligent than you? I think I know what the real problem is. One of the most difficult things about discussing the big bang with anyone is that everyone thinks they know the theory. No, that's not the real problem. Not even close. It's just a rehash of the thread mentioned above, and your fantasies of being a singularly unique mind.
betterdeal Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Does anyone here give a lemon scented f*ck about his / her studies?
FlowerGirly Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Does anyone here give a lemon scented f*ck about his / her studies? real nice:mad:
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Amistad I don't think what I do defines me. It is certain people here who just can't get over it. Betterdeal Case in point ______________________ utterer of lies. Bachelors thesis? Where the heck are you from that to get a BS one must write a thesis for a BS or BA? That sounds like the UK or Europe perhaps? I don't know of one school in the states that requiers a thesis for getting a BS or BA. Some students may write a paper for special honors under some circumstances. Some departments like the physics department at my undergraduate school have a "senior seminar" in which you present a short report. However I would not call such a thing a thesis in any sense of the word. A thesis is a novel contribution to human knowledge. A thesis presents research work experimental or theoretical which has never been done before. I am doing such work that has never been done before so yes in that one aspect my mind is singular. Perhaps you just need to let that go already and move onto another topic because I did. It was YOU and others bringing that up and calling me arrogant that got us on this subject.
betterdeal Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) real nice:mad: Ooooooooh, sarcasm. Edited May 27, 2011 by betterdeal
Cee Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I think many colleges ask for a senior project or thesis. I wrote senior thesis to get my Bachelor's degree in History at a small college on the East Coast. It was only 25 pages, but for my 21-year old self, it was a huge accomplishment. I know this is off-topic, but I thought I mention it as a point of information.
utterer of lies Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I don't know of one school in the states that requiers a thesis for getting a BS or BA. Some students may write a paper for special honors under some circumstances. Some departments like the physics department at my undergraduate school have a "senior seminar" in which you present a short report. However I would not call such a thing a thesis in any sense of the word. A thesis is a novel contribution to human knowledge. A thesis presents research work experimental or theoretical which has never been done before. I am doing such work that has never been done before so yes in that one aspect my mind is singular. I didn't know of any university that does hand out bachelor's degrees without thesis requirement, but it seems to be common in the US, wikipedia says Thesis is also used to describe a cumulative project for a bachelor's degree, and is more common at selective colleges and universities ...so yeah. And yes, I should let it go, but it's just funny to me how much importance you give to this.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) Really? The Massachusets Institute of Technology. http://web.mit.edu/physics/current/undergrad/major.html Does not "requier" a thesis to get a BS. Such a thesis is optional. The University of Chiacago... which has produced and has on the faculty more Nobel Laureate Physicists than any other.,. http://collegecatalog.uchicago.edu/thecollege/physics/ Does not require such a thesis. You see uttterer my thing is that I am not going to let some heterosexist reptile or anyone else talk down to me. A little quick googleing proves you wrong. Now I am going to wash up from my nite of clubbing, frech tip my fingernails and think about my 20 mile bike ride tomorrow. Edited May 28, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
Dust Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Really? The Massachusets Institute of Technology. http://web.mit.edu/physics/current/undergrad/major.html Does not "requier" a thesis to get a BS. Such a thesis is optional. The University of Chiacago... which has produced and has on the faculty more Nobel Laureate Physicists than any other.,. http://collegecatalog.uchicago.edu/thecollege/physics/ Does not require such a thesis. You see uttterer my thing is that I am not going to let some heterosexist reptile or anyone else talk down to me. A little quick googleing proves you wrong. Now I am going to wash up from my nite of clubbing, frech tip my fingernails and think about my 20 mile bike ride tomorrow. People these days call a 10 page paper they once had to turn in a thesis. Now back to the issue at hand. It’s your attitude. Change your attitude and your problem will be solved. Create your own reality. (something you’ve already started to do)
Author Mrlonelyone Posted May 28, 2011 Author Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) That's what I am trying to do Dust. It's just not easy. In real life I hardly ever bring up what I do. I might not mention it for a few months even. This attitude just comes up when I have to deal with condescending people. I meet allot of folks who will try to treat me like a fool because I am young, and black and transgender. People not percived as being smart. Thankyou for giving me real advice in this thread, sincerely. (I wonder what UL thinks of all of us "simpletons" who did not do a "thesis" for our BS or BA much less those who did not go to college? :/ ) Edited May 28, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
utterer of lies Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 I wonder what UL thinks of all of us "simpletons" who did not do a "thesis" for our BS or BA much less those who did not go to college? :/ What? You are the one putting your studies on such a high pedestal, not me. I never said you are a simpleton, just that your arrogance and feelings of superiority regarding your studies were not justified. But, back to the original topic. I think this thread worked, in the sense that everyone reading it will now know why it's so hard for you to meet people. Success!
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