coonsanders Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 hi gang whats your experiance with it?i just sent in my money to get a subsricpition with them.a guy friend i know met his wife on there..so whats your story ab- out them....thanks coonsanders ps please if u can give me some pointers as to how to use it.thanks
Saxis Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I'd recommend Plenty of Fish instead of Match. Completely free and seems to be a lot of users. With Match, I'd make a free profile and view your matches before paying. By all means, sign up for both! Although, unless you live in a big city, very close to one or are willing to start a distance relationship, I'd forget about online dating. Just not enough users in smaller towns to make it worth while. It's sadly a numbers game for guys. Interesting and attractive women are FAR outnumbered and get bombarded, and they won't reply to just anyone. If you can, enlist a trusted friend to read and critique your profile, and make sure you have good and interesting pictures that actually represent YOU! Just don't get discouraged if you aren't getting replies right away. Keep fine tuning your profile, try different things and pictures. It may take a month or two to get it down. When you do get some replies, don't get caught up in the endless email game. If you're there looking for a relationship, then by all means show some interest and ask them out after a few messages! I think the pay/subscription based sites are a joke though. That's largely due to the small area I live in. Might be worth the money if there were nearly endless datable profiles to sift through like the big cities...
heartbrokengrl Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I met my current bf there. Except the day we met is the day we both signed up! We didn't even get matched up. I registered an hour after he did. As soon as I registered, I messaged him (I had no pic, no info) and we talked on the phone immediately and met that same night. We've been dating for 5 months so far. It was both our first time on a dating site!
Author coonsanders Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 hi good luck heartbroken girl.it sounds good...saxis plenty of fish also has more guys than girls and will not answer all replys...one gal i wrote to said her only intrest was "u2"..not b much of a conversation person.saxis you mentioned "endless email game"how did u mean that? coonsanders
Saxis Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Sorry, didn't mean to make it seem like PoF has less males. Pretty sure about all online dating is male dominant. What I meant was that there are simply quite a bunch of active users there. Yes, the reply rate will be low no matter where you go. I stay away from those short profiles. They smell of "window shoppers", not serious about dating and probably just looking to have their ego stroked by men responding to photos only. The endless email game is where you start messaging/emailing someone that is a potential match, but you fail to take it further. You need to meet in person to make a real connection, but instead you keep playing it safe with messages. Essentially, you are just pen pals, and she'll tire of it quickly and phase you out. I'd say there's very few reasons you'd take it past 3-6 messages before at least asking for a number to have a live conversation and/or set up a date.
Author coonsanders Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 hi so your saying dont let the messages go past 6 or ill lose the oppertunety to see her..this is helpful stuff..why is the rely average so low?are the women very particular?i just talk about stuff in general.a little about myself etc.it seems that your walking a thin line when messenging someone.a little to far over the line the wrong way and they wont respond at all.i have a guy friend who didf match and he got married...wow coonsanders
Saxis Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 From what I've noticed, most of the attractive women will be VERY selective online, simply because they can be. They are overwhelmed with responses, regardless of the content of their profile. They also have the means to filter you out by age, height, location, children, what you're looking for etc... Match does a pretty good job of that for both of you already though. Personally, I think some of the dating sites that filter people and label them a percentage match do more harm than good. I don't pay much attention to it. Read her profile, look at her pictures, send a message if you feel so inclined. I'm not saying to follow a set of rules, like "don't go beyond 6 messages". I'm saying you're both there for a reason, and I'm guessing it's not to find pen pals. When you get replies and her responses suggest that she's interested, ask to set up a live date. If she's not interested, you probably won't hear back from her. If she is, she'll give you her number or suggest another contact option. If she doesn't respond or isn't interested, move on to the next one. I'm gonna be in a friend's wedding next month to someone he met on Match, also. It can work...
Jazzari Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 hi so your saying dont let the messages go past 6 or ill lose the oppertunety to see her..this is helpful stuff..why is the rely average so low?are the women very particular?i just talk about stuff in general.a little about myself etc.it seems that your walking a thin line when messenging someone.a little to far over the line the wrong way and they wont respond at all.i have a guy friend who didf match and he got married...wow coonsandersWhen Saxis says women get overwhelmed with messages - believe it. It's virtually impossible to answer them all. The messages that usually got a response from me were ones that made me laugh. I also liked ones that asked me a question about something in my profile. For one, it showed me he actually read it. For another, it made it easy to reply without searching for something to say. It's not fair, but with the number of messages that women get, you want to make it as easy and fun for her to reply as possible. I met my current SO on Match and was really happy with that service. I hated PoF.
sagetalk Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 hi so your saying dont let the messages go past 6 or ill lose the oppertunety to see her.. 6 messages, good grief man seize the day! After the third message get her number and ask her out on a date. If she won't give it, then there might be a problem and you saved yourself 3 or 4 messages. It's not magic, it's just a date, it doesn't mean she wants to marry you. Go for it or you'll never get anywhere in online dating!
Author coonsanders Posted May 24, 2011 Author Posted May 24, 2011 thanks gang..it helps.. coonsanders
guy777 Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) Do the women a favor and don't use online dating. There are too many men messaging them already. They can't even answer them all. I say change the odds and find a couple local Kareoke nights to hit. You have to find female dominated events to attend. Have a drink and chat with people, men and women. Just don't get caught up talking to men too much. The women who want to meet you will come and talk to the guy you are chatting with, if they know him. If you can get some eyes shinning at you, try to let her see another woman smile at you. They love to think they are getting the attention from a man that other women want. Then joke around with them about how you have lots of girlfriends, and how too many women were hitting on you at the last bar so you had to leave and take cover. She'll probably want to take you home at that point, but at least get her number. Edited May 24, 2011 by guy777
Jazzari Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Do the women a favor and don't use online dating. There are too many men messaging them already. They can't even answer them all.I'm glad the man I met on Match didn't feel the same.
Art_Critic Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) When Saxis says women get overwhelmed with messages - believe it. It's virtually impossible to answer them all. The messages that usually got a response from me were ones that made me laugh. I also liked ones that asked me a question about something in my profile. For one, it showed me he actually read it. For another, it made it easy to reply without searching for something to say. It's not fair, but with the number of messages that women get, you want to make it as easy and fun for her to reply as possible. I met my current SO on Match and was really happy with that service. I hated PoF. great post... and Coon.. I met my wife on Match.. without Match I would not have had my little boy and a wonderful wife... Edited May 24, 2011 by Art_Critic
Author coonsanders Posted May 24, 2011 Author Posted May 24, 2011 guy...im not a bars type of guy..jazzari..i thought you liked match..why do u hate pof?and art thanks for the encouragement..i needed that.. coonsanders
Jazzari Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I liked Match alot. There were a few scary guys, but it seemed the quality was much better. And I liked the layout and search features. The type of responses I got seemed to vary whenever I updated my profile - which meant men were actually reading it. PoF - I had my profile up for a VERY short time. I was slammed with emails and most of them were creepy. I couldn't delete my profile right away, so I deleted all the photos and put the word "delete" in all the profile spaces. So all it said was that I was female and my location. The emails didn't slow down one bit.
Author coonsanders Posted May 24, 2011 Author Posted May 24, 2011 hi thats not fun huh...they say there are so many more ladies than men in this country yet there are so many men to ladies on plenty.where are all the ladies for these guys on plenty..so few ladies and so many men.. coonsanders
ascendotum Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I met my current bf there. Except the day we met is the day we both signed up! We didn't even get matched up. I registered an hour after he did. As soon as I registered, I messaged him (I had no pic, no info) and we talked on the phone immediately and met that same night. We've been dating for 5 months so far. It was both our first time on a dating site! Wow, this is an amazing story. Match should use it as a testimonial. One hour and you struck success. OP there is another current post here from GivenUp0083 on online dating that might give you another insight into online dating for a guy, but hopefully you might have it is good as this girl. Browse some of the past threads on online dating.
JJ The PUA Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I'd stay away from online dating altogether. I used to work in the field of marketing research and most online dating sites have a 12 to 1 male to female ratio on average. Also, it's mostly the real tools/douchebags that get a lot of the girls, trust me I know from experience.
NicoleM Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 POF is far the worst as is hot or not ( yep it does exist) Okcupid is alright but majority of the time they just look at your profile and never bother messaging you
bac Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 hi thats not fun huh...they say there are so many more ladies than men in this country yet there are so many men to ladies on plenty.where are all the ladies for these guys on plenty..so few ladies and so many men.. coonsanders The difference between match. and POF is that the match. has a bunch of undatable hopeless guys with money and they are willing to pay for a date which means for them a ONS. They are not capable even to figure out how to get involved into FWBs. POF has a bunch of undatable hopeless guys with low paid jobs (if any), and most of them (about 95%) are looking for the same things as the match's guys are.
Author coonsanders Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 well one guy on here got married on match and a guy i know got married from there too..so it cant be totally hopeless but u have your opinion and we respect it.thanks coonsanders
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I met my boyfriend on Match ... I also met a few other really nice men, as well as a handful of memorable creepers before he and I connected. It can be discouraging and sometimes I would remove my profile and have a complete break but it worked.
Kampo Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 met my ex on POF, i've been on quite a few dates from online dating, most women its obvious why there on there. dunno I just never was able to approach people in public. actually dating the first gal in years I haven't met online right now and relized that I would of never been able to get a gal like that online since while i'm not unattractive, my personality is my stronger weapon then my looks so I would of gotten overlooked by women like her.
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