tyler123 Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 My ex is recently divorced, I supported her to the best of my ability through- out the separation and divorce. I feel in order to get all of your help I need to not be lengthy with details, but I do need to be honest. I WISHED AND I HOPED that by being there for her in the hardest times that she would be grateful and loyal and love me for being there for her. However, She has Gigs and does not call me or respond to my text messages for the past month- she has come over twice in the last month and each time we have sex and then she leaves and their is no mutual communication- I know i want more from her and she is telling me she wants to see what else is out there - I feel sick to my stomach after each time i have allowed her to spend the night at my place because she does WHATEVER SHE FEELS LIKE, she shows me no respect, no care - it's like I am the stereotypical girl and she is the "man" that is emotionless. I made a huge mistake allowing someone to treat me like this, I made a huge mistake getting involved with someone when they were in a bad marriage, and i was a fool to believe she would treat me better than she treated her husband now her ex. I drove around every night trying to figure out what she was doing, who she was with- I felt obsessed, I know i am obsessed with someone that is not good to me. My ego is loud and trying to keep me in conflict. I know each time over the 4yr relationship that I have gone NC i have felt the pain and feel closer to coming out of it and moving on- then I cave and call or text, sometimes she calls and texts and says she misses me - I get my false hope that something different has clicked in her, but she does the same thing over and over again, and I do the same thing over and over again. I know NC is my only choice to regain my self respect, and integrity. I need your help to stay strong and support me when i am weak, I need your help and wisdom that when i feel better in a couple of weeks I do not get cocky and think i can handle picking up her call or calling her.. TODAY IS DAY ONE please help me i will do my part and will post my healing- I have faith it will pass and I will come out stronger on the other side...
nana841121 Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Be strong. The pain will elevate itself. Things will get better as time goes by
Author tyler123 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 thanks Nana- it's definitely a struggle and what really sucks is i have access to her email account. I hate how I feel when I check it- i am praying my ass off to "LET GO and LET GOD"
Tulip2005 Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Don't stalk, please. Honestly NC is the way to go for both sides right now. If it will be it will be.
Author tyler123 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 Thanks tulip- i actually blocked aol from my computer so i can't check her email. I went for a walk outside and prayed for all parties. I am just pissed because I was on the loveshack for a month and feeling healthier and healthier, got to the gym , eating better lost about 15 lbs. I disregarded all that i heard on here and took her call to listen to her tell me that she missed me and loved me- I took the bait even though you all said she would do this because of her ego needing a boost, she was just making sure I did not move on. WEll I went right back to square 1.. I AM DONE!!!! I wasted 4yrs of my life being sucked drain of my self worth- I allowed it to happen. Now with help I am not going to partake in this chapter anymore. I WANT TO BE ACCOUNTABLE AND HAVE INTEGRITY!!! I must admit everytime over the last month that I allowed her to come over I did not feel good about it- I knew I was not treating myself the way I should, I was not getting anything other than crumbs and disrespect.
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