sanskrit Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 and the divorce laws in the state they live in are in his favor for assets he had before the marriage. He should be very careful. If anything she does to the house is a fixture type improvement, such as -help paint-... one brush stroke... and he gets the wrong judge? BAM...house becomes marital property. as a wealthier man, even though i haven't been married, i'm not really scared of alimony. it's a drop in the bucket. Had a beer with a friend this week whose moderately well-off (didn't say the exact income) cousin just got hit with $30,000 per month alimony/support payment. If you are wealthy enough such that that is a drop in the bucket, more power to ya
Jazzari Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Where I live, house maids get paid minimum wage and there is a reason for that. The hardest part of being a stay at home parent is if there is a newborn baby in the picture while the rest are nothing. As a child I took care of much of the housework since my parents were busy working. And when I started driving I was also the one buying groceries. The only thing I didnt do was cooking. I could do doing laundry, buying groceries, cleaning the bathroom, and vacuuming in a few hours. Besides its not like you have to do all those things every single day. So sorry Im not buying all these, "OMG staying home is so hard!"I respect the fact that you helped as a child. Many kids who stay at home alone are not so responsible. They get involved with gangs, drugs, alcohol, don't keep up with schoolwork, etc. I strongly believe that parents should be the one raising a child. Not the church, not schools, not daycare. I'm the one to teach my child morals and the important things in life. I'll be the one there when he takes his first steps, needs help with homework, has a fight at school and goes through his first heartache. I'll be there when he is ill and also to share the happy times. I'll be at the games and cheer him through his triumphs. It amazes me that you condem women who want to dedicate themselves to raising their children themselves instead of relying on others. The villiage can KMA. I'll raise my child myself, thank you very much. Also in most traditional households where the wives only stays home, the husbands are the ones who mow the lawn, take out the trash, fix the plumbing, fix the cars, build the furniture their wives buy from IKEA, etc.I did all those things. As well as doing the bills, fighting with insurance companies and all the other household jobs. And most importantly, I made my family feel happy and loved. And I was always there for them. Can't put a price tag on that. As I said, I have no issue with people who take a couple years off to care for a newborn baby (although I prefer getting a nanny or a relative to do it). But staying home as a full time job for the rest of their lives? Pffftt. Get a real job. I said this before but it bears repeating. Just because a person doesn't make a big paycheck does not make their work worthless. According to your values, I guess I should find a rich husband. Because those that don't make a big paycheck apparently don't have a "real job".
Author musemaj11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 I respect the fact that you helped as a child. Many kids who stay at home alone are not so responsible. They get involved with gangs, drugs, alcohol, don't keep up with schoolwork, etc. I strongly believe that parents should be the one raising a child. Not the church, not schools, not daycare. I'm the one to teach my child morals and the important things in life. I'll be the one there when he takes his first steps, needs help with homework, has a fight at school and goes through his first heartache. I'll be there when he is ill and also to share the happy times. I'll be at the games and cheer him through his triumphs. It amazes me that you condem women who want to dedicate themselves to raising their children themselves instead of relying on others. The villiage can KMA. I'll raise my child myself, thank you very much. As I said again, if being a stay at home parent is such an honorable job, why wouldnt you want a stay at home husband?
Author musemaj11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Me likey! You see, I may sound like an arse in how I present my viewpoints. But all it comes down to is that I simply believe in fairness. Do unto others what you would like others do unto you.
Lovelybird Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Woman value drive and leadership in their men. Few things will dry them up faster then a guy who relies on them. . It is harsh reality, but so true. If a man relies on me for financial needs for no good reasons (for example, cancer or disease), my claws will come out, and I don't like to be around this kind of man, makes me feel like a bad woman. I will be picturing him hiding behind my back when facing dangerous.
Jazzari Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 As I said again, if being a stay at home parent is such an honorable job, why wouldnt you want a stay at home husband?Very simple. I make a better mom than he would. And the type of men I'm attracted to simply wouldn't tolerate it in any case.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 It is harsh reality, but so true. If a man relies on me for financial needs for no good reasons (for example, cancer or disease), my claws will come out, and I don't like to be around this kind of man, makes me feel like a bad woman. I will be picturing him hiding behind my back when facing dangerous. But if you hide behind his back in the face of danger its okay right?
Lovelybird Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 But if you hide behind his back in the face of danger its okay right? Yep! It is women's rights to do so
Author musemaj11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Yep! It is women's rights to do so Haha, you are quite a joker.
Lovelybird Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) I like masculine guy, not neutralized. Neutralized guy likes neutralized woman. Feminine guy likes masculine woman. Feminine woman cannot stand feminine guy, because their energy is against each other. sounds like right Edited May 26, 2011 by Lovelybird
sweetjasmine Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 You described a stay at home wife right there, lol! Not many people want to stay home to clean toilets, change dirty diapers, wash dishes, cook and all the other unpleasant chores. And for many, they are unappreciated or at best unacknowledged. There is no high five from co workers, no bonus for a good job, no rising up through the ranks. No gossip at the water cooler, no intelligent conversation, and no positive feedback. There are no new challenges to keep your mind occupied. Just the same dull, mindless chores day after day. Many women consider that slavery of a type. And because it doesn't bring in a paycheck, it is looked down upon and not valued. Other women sneer at the stay at home mom and often make her feel stupid and worthless. Many husbands take her for granted and its hard to compete with the pretty coworker who doesn't have baby drool running down her arm. [...] Stay at home wives give an enormous amount of care and comfort to their families. It's sad that the mighty dollar is considered to be worth more. Jeez, no kidding. Though to be honest it's no surprise that Americans under 50 value the almighty dollar over everything else. My mother slaved away at home for decades and got little to no positive feedback. Just complaining. Mom, this food is gross, mom, why didn't you wash my jeans, mom, where's my stuff, mom, I need to go to the store to get poster board for school. Non-stop, every day, from 4 children. No one appreciates how difficult it is to care for a family of 7, including an elderly parent, all living under the same roof for 20 years until they actually have to do it and face the realities of it every. single. day. with hardly any appreciation for the work you put in. I remember when I was in high school, I stayed up on the night of Thanksgiving to clean the kitchen and breakfast room so my mom didn't have to do it all herself in the morning. Between the dirty dishes (for at least 30 people), countertops, oven, tables, and floors, it took me until 5 am, and my back was killing me. But I guess since we could've paid someone $7/hour to do all that, it was worthless work, and I shouldn't thank my mother for doing sh-t like that for all of us for pretty much her entire adult life. It's much easier than sitting in an office in front of a computer screen all day, ain't it?
Author musemaj11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Jeez, no kidding. Though to be honest it's no surprise that Americans under 50 value the almighty dollar over everything else. My mother slaved away at home for decades and got little to no positive feedback. Just complaining. Mom, this food is gross, mom, why didn't you wash my jeans, mom, where's my stuff, mom, I need to go to the store to get poster board for school. Non-stop, every day, from 4 children. No one appreciates how difficult it is to care for a family of 7, including an elderly parent, all living under the same roof for 20 years until they actually have to do it and face the realities of it every. single. day. with hardly any appreciation for the work you put in. I remember when I was in high school, I stayed up on the night of Thanksgiving to clean the kitchen and breakfast room so my mom didn't have to do it all herself in the morning. Between the dirty dishes (for at least 30 people), countertops, oven, tables, and floors, it took me until 5 am, and my back was killing me. But I guess since we could've paid someone $7/hour to do all that, it was worthless work, and I shouldn't thank my mother for doing sh-t like that for all of us for pretty much her entire adult life. It's much easier than sitting in an office in front of a computer screen all day, ain't it? Maybe teach your kids to help around the house and be more responsible with themselves. Why did you have so many kids anyway? People in the past had a lot of kids solely to help them in the field. Maybe you should have done the same with your kids. Put them to good use.
sweetjasmine Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Maybe teach your kids to help around the house and be more responsible with themselves. Why did you have so many kids anyway? People in the past had a lot of kids solely to help them in the field. Maybe you should have done the same with your kids. Put them to good use. Maybe your mom should've taught you how to read.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Even though I look down on people who aspire to just stay home their whole lives and I don't wish to build a future with people who hold such outlook in life, I guess I'm fine with couples who make the decision to let one partner stay home all her life while the other slaves away at work under constant stress due to work pressure and the fact that he is the sole pillar of survival for his family as long as the partner who stays home pulls an equal weight and does everything at home. But honestly if you are a man living in america, marrying a woman with zero financial worth means you are just a step away from waking up one day with your wife gone with the kids while you are stuck with alimony and child support up your arse.
vsmini Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Even though I look down on people who aspire to just stay home their whole lives and I don't wish to build a future with people who hold such outlook in life, I guess I'm fine with couples who make the decision to let one partner stay home all her life while the other slaves away at work under constant stress due to work pressure and the fact that he is the sole pillar of survival for his family as long as the partner who stays home pulls an equal weight and does everything at home. But honestly if you are a man living in america, marrying a woman with zero financial worth means you are just a step away from waking up one day with your wife gone with the kids while you are stuck with alimony and child support up your arse. Eh - that can happen to anybody. I know female Physicians that work and the dad stays at home and takes care of their 3 kids (all under the age of 5). I know men who made more than their wives and divorced them and hired sleezebag lawyers so now the ex husband is getting alimony from the wife that made more. Who makes what often does not determine who people are in a relationship. It is never as simple as "I make X amount of dollars and you make X amount - therefore THIS is how the relationship will pan out. There's no formula for that.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Eh - that can happen to anybody. I know female Physicians that work and the dad stays at home and takes care of their 3 kids (all under the age of 5). I know men who made more than their wives and divorced them and hired sleezebag lawyers so now the ex husband is getting alimony from the wife that made more. Who makes what often does not determine who people are in a relationship. It is never as simple as "I make X amount of dollars and you make X amount - therefore THIS is how the relationship will pan out. There's no formula for that. I never said getting screwed over only happens to men, but over 90% of alimony payers are men. Women like britney spears make up a tiny little minority. And this is partially men's fault because unlike women, most men don't care enough about the financial worth of a potential partner. They marry a beautiful wife with little education and no career and then get shocked when 10 years later the women run with half their money and their kids plus alimony and child support. Men need to understand that marriage is a business deal. All women know this already. That's why according to a study, women find men with less education and less money are less attractive. For women, love=money. And its up to men to catch up with the program.
vsmini Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I never said getting screwed over only happens to men, but over 90% of alimony payers are men. Women like britney spears make up a tiny little minority. And this is partially men's fault because unlike women, most men don't care enough about the financial worth of a potential partner. They marry a beautiful wife with little education and no career and then get shocked when 10 years later the women run with half their money and their kids plus alimony and child support. Men need to understand that marriage is a business deal. All women know this already. That's why according to a study, women find men with less education and less money are less attractive. For women, love=money. And its up to men to catch up with the program. Well then I'm both screwed and a traitor to my gender as I make more than my boyfriend does and most likely will continue to keep doing so. Is this a bad business deal? Maybe. I don't know what to say - I have the fortunate position of making my own money, wanting to be with a guy for love and wanting to stay at home with the kids when they are young and then returning to work when they are in school full-time. An untouchable if you will. JK.
carhill Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I've been staying at home for about 25 years now. Had my exW found that attractive, she wouldn't have had to worry about who would manage the HVAC contractor and crane company today nor build all those cool projects I sell for money, in between washing clothes, doing dishes and making the beds, after which I meet with some tenants to sign a new lease for the next year and do some maintenance on the property while there. She could have paid a property manager and contractor. Yep, stay at home people are kinda sucky and unambitious. I think I better listen to her and 'get a job'. When pigs fly ...
Enchanted Girl Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 If you think being a stay at home spouse is such an honorable responsibility equal to being a breadwinner, how many of you would by your own choice gladly be the breadwinner and support a stay at home husband? And how many of you are actually looking to find a man whom you plan to make a stay at home husband so you dont have to give up your own career? I really wanna see if women are just all talk or not. I would be absolutely fine with this as long as he didn't just sit on his butt all day and actually cleaned up the house (and took care of the children) because a lot of men seem to think that women do nothing when they are housewives. My boyfriend doesn't understand cleaning at all in fact and I don't know if he could actually handle this, but if he could, I'd be happy for things to be this way. =) As long as I made enough to support the two of us.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Well then I'm both screwed and a traitor to my gender as I make more than my boyfriend does and most likely will continue to keep doing so. Is this a bad business deal? Maybe. I don't know what to say - I have the fortunate position of making my own money, wanting to be with a guy for love and wanting to stay at home with the kids when they are young and then returning to work when they are in school full-time. An untouchable if you will. JK. How much more do you make? Chances are the two of you make roughly equal. If you make a lot more than its fine as long as you don't marry him. If you marry him, then you are putting yourself under unnecessary risk. You see, I'm fair. I hold both genders up to the same standard.
vsmini Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 How much more do you make? Chances are the two of you make roughly equal. If you make a lot more than its fine as long as you don't marry him. If you marry him, then you are putting yourself under unnecessary risk. You see, I'm fair. I hold both genders up to the same standard. Seriously - who do you think you are? I just stated I make more. Now I know my little ladybrain has a hard time with math but if I make more I'm pretty sure the two of us do not make "roughly equal" I'm going to state about 25% more after take home. And I'm up for promotion so that will most likely bump me up. Is this guy for real????
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Seriously - who do you think you are? I just stated I make more. Now I know my little ladybrain has a hard time with math but if I make more I'm pretty sure the two of us do not make "roughly equal" I'm going to state about 25% more after take home. And I'm up for promotion so that will most likely bump me up. Is this guy for real???? So do you plan to marry this guy?
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Seriously - who do you think you are? I just stated I make more. Now I know my little ladybrain has a hard time with math but if I make more I'm pretty sure the two of us do not make "roughly equal" I'm going to state about 25% more after take home. And I'm up for promotion so that will most likely bump me up. Is this guy for real???? So do you plan to marry this guy?
Author musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) We're only at month 6 of dating. Need more time. Haha, I doubt you are going to marry him. Edited May 27, 2011 by musemaj11
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