thatone Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 SHE is probably independent of him. THEIR children, however, are not - yet. no, she isn't independent of him. because at least 2/3 of the men who otherwise might be interested in her see kids and instantly say "no". until the last kid is 18 she's still attached to him whether she likes it or not.
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 no, she isn't independent of him. because at least 2/3 of the men who otherwise might be interested in her see kids and instantly say "no".Um, can we please stay on track? We were talking about MONEY. You know - MONETARY support? That's why you made the comment about her still being dependent on him BECAUSE HE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT. And - please note - it's CHILD support, not spousal maintenance. If she were getting alimony, I would most certainly agree with you. Don't try to change the subject just so you can somehow convince yourself you're right.
thatone Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) umm, that is money related way more often than not. men avoid women with kids because they don't want to pay for them. if the ex who made the kids were a good provider she wouldn't have left him in the vast majority of cases. i don't know if you've ever noticed, but men are not in the habit of helping ex boyfriends and ex husbands, just like women are not in the habit of helping ex girlfriends and ex wives. or if not, tell me i'm wrong and all of those women with kids left well paid professionals to go find a day laborer with a bigger cock. then imagine that scenario in a world without child support and without alimony, and go rethink all of your posts in this thread. you are the only one who seems to desperately need to dissociate money from relationships (in a thread about money, no less), which is quite silly considering the vast majority of the population spends more time working (for money) than doing anything else, including spending time with their partners. Edited May 24, 2011 by thatone
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 "...desperately need..." LMFAO! I don't "desperately need" anything. As for exes who are good providers, there are PLENTY of people leaving their rich spouses, and with good cause. You read about it every day. AND - as for the ex being "depended upon" because guys won't date women with children (which is BS, by the way), what do you think? She'll NEVER date unless her ex delivers guys to her doorstep who are willing? If I were looking to date, I would certainly take a date with someone with a fair and balanced outlook who can share in verbal exchanges in an intelligent manner AND who has children rather than someone who delivers knee jerk responses heavy on gender stereotypes.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 , you are the only one who seems to desperately need to dissociate money from relationships (in a thread about money, no less), which is quite silly considering the vast majority of the population spends more time working (for money) than doing anything else, including spending time with their partners. Au contraire - she is trying to keep on topic, which was: Women: How many of you would support a stay at home husband. It is NOT about needing money, or not, in a relationship. Or about how men with money have it a lot better with the ladies than men without. Or, about how any man who allowed the woman to work while he stayed at home must be peniley challenged.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 So what? So she is one of those women who DOES use the almighty dollar as her yardstick. Any man will be hard pressed, then, to determine whether she really loves HIM or his MONEY. Is that the kind of life a man should aspire to? I don't think it is what he should aspire to but if a man is not an alpha his dating options will be severely limited.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 She also comes from a very traditional Catholic family, so it's what she grew up with, too. But she gets very frustrated. I remember one time she was doing his laundry while I was hand-washing something of mine, and she said, "Look, you better find yourself someone who can actually clean up after themselves." She was only half-joking. They've been together for maybe 7 or 8 years, and she's already resentful of having to clean up after him while she works just as hard as he does and works crazier hours that leave her totally drained. And every so often, he can be a real jerk about things. I've heard him criticize her cooking - "What is this crap?". Man I wanted to smack him. He's gotten a little better when it comes to that, since that kind of BS makes her blow up and leaves him eating frozen food, take-out, and McDonald's for the rest of the week. That's the "catch" with dumping all the housework on one partner and not even appreciating what they do. It fosters an incredible amount of resentment, and over time, that kills affection. My mother has enough resentment and anger to last her several lifetimes thanks to feeling like an unappreciated maid for 40 years, and her having to work full-time in her 60s and still clean the whole house by herself while my dad is retired is the cherry on top. My parents care for each other, but there's barely any affection there. Sounds great, doesn't it? I'm sure there are some enlightened fellows out there who would call my SO a mangina for cooking, helping with the dishes, doing laundry, and helping me clean our home, but it works for us. I respect him (see, Woggle?) for wanting to help take care of a home that's also his and I respect him for being a self-sufficient adult who doesn't need a substitute mommy to wipe his butt for him. Yeah, same here. It's nice to do something sweet for someone, especially when they've had a difficult, long day, but it's totally different when they can't do it themselves and absolutely expect you to do it all the time. I don't think he is a mangina and I respect you for actually valuing this kind of man but in many cases men like this are not respected.
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I don't think it is what he should aspire to but if a man is not an alpha his dating options will be severely limited. Yes, limited to women who value HIM rather than his money. Is that such a bad thing?
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I don't think he is a mangina and I respect you for actually valuing this kind of man but in many cases men like this are not respected. And women who have no respect for a GREAT guy like that would be the kind of woman a man would want? Really? They'd rather have some greedy woman with her hands out waiting for the cash to fall into them?
Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Yes, limited to women who value HIM rather than his money. Is that such a bad thing? Some men just like some women would rather have a hot women that treats them like crap than a simply pretty woman that treats them well.
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Some men just like some women would rather have a hot women that treats them like crap than a simply pretty woman that treats them well. Well, I've been called "hot" by several guys, but I don't treat my man like crap.
thatone Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Au contraire - she is trying to keep on topic, which was: Women: How many of you would support a stay at home husband. It is NOT about needing money, or not, in a relationship. Or about how men with money have it a lot better with the ladies than men without. Or, about how any man who allowed the woman to work while he stayed at home must be peniley challenged. try re-reading her first post in this thread. she's not trying to keep on topic, she's trolling (badly) and not fooling anyone really.
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 If you need more money than someone else to make your dick feel big, you have problems much bigger than your bottom line. I would have whatever living/earning situation worked out the best for all concerned, whether it be both working and both doing house chores, or one or the other working. Wouldn't matter if it was the man or the woman, as long as everything that needs to get done gets done and everyone is satisfied with the arrangements. And what about this post (my first in this thread, like you said) could be considered off topic? Funny. A troll calling someone else a troll.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Donnamaybe is NOT a troll in any sense of the word!
Kamille Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 To answer the opening post: I would have no problem supporting my partner if he chose to be a SAHD, if that is what would make him happy. We support each other in the pursuit of our well-being. Would I be looking for a SAHD? No. It just isn't a criteria for me, either way. The main criteria for me was finding someone who was as supportive of my goals as I knew I could be of his.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Well, I've been called "hot" by several guys, but I don't treat my man like crap. I do not know what you look like but I am sure you are hot and you seem to truly appreciate a good guy. Do you know how hard it is for a man to find a woman like that?
EmmaLou Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I work full time and my boyfriend works part time, I love supporting us and feel more attracted to him every day.. we're three years in so far. I do dislike all these stereotypes..
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I do not know what you look like but I am sure you are hot and you seem to truly appreciate a good guy. Do you know how hard it is for a man to find a woman like that? It's much harder if a guy settles...
Entropy3000 Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I think its hysterical how most of the men on this site, in many different threads, claim to be swimming in money. Uh huh. Suuurre. Whinging on LS pays real well. $500 / post $1000 / reply
Woggle Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I post on here because unless I have to go on the road I have most of my work done by afternoon. I am a very fast worker and sometimes I need to unwind. I am not filthy rich but I am doing very well these days.
KR10N Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 There's no way in hell that I'll ever be a "stay-@-home wife". There's certainly no way in hell that I'll ever marry a "stay-@-home husband". I feel I need to do something constantly to keep from going insane & I need a man who's the same.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 (edited) Now this, I find a little iffy, especially the fact that the OP is supporting it despite him being all 'EQUALITYEQUALITYEQUALITY' in other aspects. If a woman is working full time as well as the man, why should she be the one to 'keep a spotless house and do all the cooking'? If there is to be equality in work contribution, should not both parties contribute equally to the housekeeping as well? Where did I say my mother was the only one doing all that? My father helped all he could also and the kids when we got older did our share of housework. I merely said that my mother was a good mother and a good wife despite being career woman. I didnt say she did all the works by herself. And by the way, Im not talking about parents who take one or two years off. Im talking about people who actually aspire to just be a stay at home parent and look for potential partners based on their earning power so they can expect to leech off them for the rest of their lives. Edited May 25, 2011 by musemaj11
Houndsoflove Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I don't understand why this is such a controversial subject, almost all women i know work and nearly all the women in my family work and made the same or nearly the amount as their husbands. in real life things are moving foward--women are in the workforce and have been for quite some time--however mentally we cling to old ideas. why is this? entertainment depicting women as housewives? we need to get on with it and stop making it such a big deal.
Houndsoflove Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 There's no way in hell that I'll ever be a "stay-@-home wife". There's certainly no way in hell that I'll ever marry a "stay-@-home husband". I feel I need to do something constantly to keep from going insane & I need a man who's the same. i agree with this. i have always been with men who have a career. i'm the same. i would never settle for a life without tangible goals i'm working towards and my own income.
RecordProducer Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 So the consensus is basically that women would accept it under their terms and if it suits them, but not because they are being tolerant or inviting a stay-at-home dad.
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