musemaj11 Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 If you think being a stay at home spouse is such an honorable responsibility equal to being a breadwinner, how many of you would by your own choice gladly be the breadwinner and support a stay at home husband? And how many of you are actually looking to find a man whom you plan to make a stay at home husband so you dont have to give up your own career? I really wanna see if women are just all talk or not.
Velociraptor Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 No real man what so ever would want to be a stay at home husband. It's pathetic.
sanskrit Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 No real man what so ever would want to be a stay at home husband. It's pathetic. Hell I would, as long as there were no kids.
Timmeh Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Hell I would, as long as there were no kids. What an utterly unfulfilling life.
OliveOyl Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Hell I would, as long as there were no kids. Why not? According to you, it should be a piece of cake, being able to live with all the creature comforts of home. Or is it the creatures themselves that concern you?
Velociraptor Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Men and women have different roles. Men pursue, Women earn less money. A man should never ever no matter what pursue a woman who earns more than him. If a man pursues a woman who earns more than him, and chooses to be a house-husband while the woman is the bread winner... He is her bitch, and it's pathetic. Quite frankly.
Timmeh Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Why not? According to you, it should be a piece of cake, being able to live with all the creature comforts of home. Or is it the creatures themselves that concern you? Ugh... raising kids is hardwork. Sometimes I babysit my brothers 1 year old and let me tell you it's a full time job. It's not easy that is for sure and I commend anyone who decides to be a full time parent.
sanskrit Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Hell I would, as long as there were no kids. What an utterly unfulfilling life. Why not? According to you, it should be a piece of cake, being able to live with all the creature comforts of home. Or is it the creatures themselves that concern you? Blue light special... aisle 9... sense of humor only $19.95.
Timmeh Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Men and women have different roles. Men pursue, Women earn less money. A man should never ever no matter what pursue a woman who earns more than him. If a man pursues a woman who earns more than him, and chooses to be a house-husband while the woman is the bread winner... He is her bitch, and it's pathetic. Quite frankly. What an archaic way of looking at things. Like it or not, women have careers of their own now. Gone are the days where the man would presue a career and the woman would stay home and be a homemaker. Now-a-days things are more equal in this respect, like it or not this is how it is. It's not uncommon to find women who make more then men. Hell... my girlfriend makes thousands more than I do.
OliveOyl Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Blue light special... aisle 9... sense of humor only $19.95. I had a sense of humor, but one of my kids was playing with it and it broke.
sanskrit Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I had a sense of humor, but one of my kids was playing with it and it broke. Ok much much better.
Velociraptor Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 What an archaic way of looking at things. Like it or not, women have careers of their own now. Gone are the days where the man would presue a career and the woman would stay home and be a homemaker. Now-a-days things are more equal in this respect, like it or not this is how it is. It's not uncommon to find women who make more then men. Hell... my girlfriend makes thousands more than I do. If a man pursues a woman who earns more money, the relationship is imbalanced and skewed in the womans favor. Yes, things are equal now as to how much money women and men earn. But it's not equal when it comes to how much effort men and women put in relationships. Men STILL take all the initatives and puts in all the effort, even though women earn as much or more in many cases. Is that fair? Who pursues who, IMO should be based on who earns more.
denise_xo Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I have been the bread winner in my marriage since we got together, and I have supported my H through graduate studies. We don't want children, but in the hypothetical scenario that we had any I would prefer him to stay at home with the children rather than me. I also know three other women who support stay at home husbands with children.
Timmeh Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 If a man pursues a woman who earns more money, the relationship is imbalanced and skewed in the womans favor. Yes, things are equal now as to how much money women and men earn. But it's not equal when it comes to how much effort men and women put in relationships. Men STILL take all the initatives and puts in all the effort, even though women earn as much or more in many cases. Is that fair? Who pursues who, IMO should be based on who earns more. How does one define that? Say for example you meet a woman and hit it off with her. You click on almost every level but you've just gotten to meet her. You don't know what she does or how much she makes. Once you find out that this said woman makes more cash, would you stop dating her despite the connection?
Citizen Erased Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Unless I suddenly give birth to 8 children, there is no reason for either of us to SAH. It's not possible these days for most people to bring up children on one salary and I refuse to not provide as well as I can for my future children so one of us can chill at home. My mother managed to work full time, study, keep a spotless house, did all the cooking. As did my grandmother. It's the environment I was raised in, I won't be any different.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Unless I suddenly give birth to 8 children, there is no reason for either of us to SAH. It's not possible these days for most people to bring up children on one salary and I refuse to not provide as well as I can for my future children so one of us can chill at home. My mother managed to work full time, study, keep a spotless house, did all the cooking. As did my grandmother. It's the environment I was raised in, I won't be any different. Yep so did my mum. And I plan to do the same. I also have no idea how single income families survive and have a decent quality of life.
heartshaped Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I also have no idea how single income families survive and have a decent quality of life. My mother was a SAHM and we were an upper middle class family so I suppose it really depends on how much that single income is. My boyfriend and I were joking about him staying at home last night. My earning potential is quite a bit greater than his and in a few years I should be making six figures a year. He joked when that happened there was no need for him to work and he'd just stay home with our future children. Would I care if he did? No, not really, but I doubt he will as he loves his field and his job. I can't imagine staying at home even though we could survive off of his income, I just don't think I could stomach sitting at home all day. Though I have considered taking some time off from work when my children are small.
Velociraptor Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 How does one define that? Say for example you meet a woman and hit it off with her. You click on almost every level but you've just gotten to meet her. You don't know what she does or how much she makes. Once you find out that this said woman makes more cash, would you stop dating her despite the connection? If I had to pursue her, aka if I made the first move and I later found out she earned more than me. Yes, I would stop dating her without a doubt. Only way I could ever be with a woman who earns more than me is if she pursued me, but women don't do the pursuing. They want equality only when it suits them. IMO it's ridicilous when women who have good jobs and earn good money STILL expect the man to chase them and put in all the effort even though he earns less... it's emasculating.
Author musemaj11 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 (edited) So far Denise is the only woman who not only would support a stay at home husband but also have actually done so. My mother managed to work full time, study, keep a spotless house, did all the cooking. As did my grandmother. It's the environment I was raised in, I won't be any different. Yep so did my mum. And I plan to do the same. And so did my mother. Even my grandmother, too in a way who still helped my grandpa working at the field and tending the livestock in their village despite having ten kids! I think people who aspire to just stay home and depending on the other spouse for sustenance are just lazy people with little ambition. They just wanna enjoy their time with their children at home while the other spouse works his arse off and rarely sees his kids which is probably the reason why many fathers are detached from their children. In fact my own mother says that she cant stand interacting with stay at home mothers because they have so little knowledge due to their 'disconnection' from the real world that its akin to talking with small kids . But then again I understand that in some cultures such as in Middle Eastern culture, most women have no choice but to stay home. Edited May 23, 2011 by musemaj11
sweetjasmine Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I would support my SO if I earned considerably more than he did, and it was feasible for one of us to stay home. We both grew up in families where one parent stayed home, and I personally prefer that kind of environment for children. If he were to stay at home, he would do the independent/freelance work that he wishes he had time for now, anyway. If I were to stay at home, I would also be doing freelance work along the lines of what I did while searching for a full-time job. Neither of us gets a chance to pursue our art/creative work at our jobs, so it would be a good opportunity to change things up a bit. So far Denise is the only woman who not only would support a stay at home husband but also have actually done so. Uhh, you titled your thread "how many of you would support a stay at home husband?", not "how many of you have supported a stay at home husband?" If you want the answers to the latter, maybe you shouldn't have posted it in the Dating section where most of the posters aren't even married. Just a friendly tip.
sally4sara Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I did this already. Only there were no children and even then he found a way to suck at it. All he did was play video games, spend my money and drink. I did the SAH for 4 months with my son. 1 month of forced bed rest before he was born, 3 after for breast feeding. I was glad to be back to work and not staring at the same walls all day long. Its just not for me; I end up taking on more volunteer work. The best I can do on that front is part time work and volunteer interests. I would go out of my mind if I had nothing else to do but ramble around the house now. Its not like I have to lug the laundry down to the river to wash it or kill a chicken for dinner. You can do one big grocery shop and then have staples delivered later in the week. Cleaners that dissolve stains and grease so you don't have to do much scrubbing to clean something. Dishwashers do the dishes. Besides, my son is 13 and doesn't need close monitoring.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 BTW, I meant average single income. Of course, if your income is > than 2 x average income, you won't have a problem
Jazzari Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 No, I would not work and support a man who wanted to be a housewife. The types of men I'm attracted to would never want that lifestyle. My marriage was one where my husband worked and I stayed home. We managed just fine on a single income. I could have made a decent wage but both of us placed far more value on my contributions in the home, than money. My sister quit her job to stay at home and raise their daughter. So she is also living one one income. And they live a very comfortable lifestyle. All her friends do the same. Not all women are good mothers. And some men are excellent. But for me personally, I make a better far mom than the men I'm attracted to. I'm happy with the traditional roles.
tigressA Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I am not ever having children, but IF I were to have them, I would support a stay at home husband. Actually...I think that would be the only circumstance in which I would have kids!
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 My ex husband and I took turns working when we were young. Both of us were artists so we gave one another the time to pursue what was really important to us. When we were older (after a lot of crap including a 2 year time apart and the arrival of our daughter), he came back into my life. I had started a successful business. He had nothing. I did not exactly support him, but I brought him into the business, where we both worked hard and also had time to be home a lot with our daughter, which we both shared. If a man pursues a woman who earns more money, the relationship is imbalanced and skewed in the womans favor. So, conversely, if the man earns more, the relationship is skewed in his favor? Why is this "correct" in your view? Yes, things are equal now as to how much money women and men earn. But it's not equal when it comes to how much effort men and women put in relationships. Men STILL take all the initatives and puts in all the effort, even though women earn as much or more in many cases. Is that fair? That's complete BS. Just to be clear, I don't believe in blanket generalizations based upon gender, race, sexuality, etc.; BUT, on a societal level, WOMEN are the gender who are far more responsible for relationships. Yes, traditionally men are still expected to do the pursuing and "take the initiatives," but once a relationship is established, it is traditionally the woman's role to nurture it. Just to be completely clear, I personally eschew the idea that all of these traditional roles need to be adhered to; I believe that people can forge relationships in whatever way suits the individuals involved. I am speaking about traditional behavior. Who pursues who, IMO should be based on who earns more. Well, feel free to carry on with that. I think it sounds like pathetically narrow thinking. Personally, I'd be pretty offended if a man I was starting to date showed a lot of interest in my earnings or bank account, for any reason. I'd expect many men to feel the same. Are you in a happy, balanced, fulfilling relationship today? Have you ever been?
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