13 years of with the Wife and now she tells me?

[coolheadal]

Enough of that post,,

 

So late last night the wife come home almost 3 in the morning. She had turned on the TV and watch HSN and was on the PC until 5am. I had feel asleep on my HO sofa with HSN still peddling their wares to me. I didn't get to bed until 8:30a. She was in there also. Room cold as ice but it's been hot this week.

 

So today is that big party she had asked me if I was going. What I did ask her did her family know what was taking place. She told me only her mom and dad knew. My goodness if he knows I am sure he got on his cell phone and make his runs of gossip to everyone in that town where the party is going to be held at. I don't want them looking down at me like I was the guy at fault. She just wanted me to make the 2 hr round trip drive to that town. I hate going there its so hilly on the roads plus it's raining too.

 

I had told her I don't feel it's right for me to attend that party in the event of what's going on between us right now. She told me come on we can go there as friends. Bad enough she has to keep on rubbing that into my face.

 

Well she has made it official today in August she moves out and into her new very expensive townhouse apartment. She's going to get slammed with $5,000 up front cost though. Oh well and she's going to have to pay 3 months of bills that are in her name also. I am not paying anything in her name only in my name. I don't care if she tells me where just friends.

 

Just came back from the local Costco Warehouse, all we do is fight about silly stuff. When it came to pay the bill she wanted me to pay for the party goods. I told you have to pay for that. We've friends don't you remember. I was going to say I am not your doormat anymore.

 

But same has gone for buying the gas for her vehicle it's expensive to fill it. She wanted me to pump the gas into it. I told her you do it I don't feel like doing it. Since we've friends in all. She got so pissed and said other guy friends would do it for me. Good for them!

 

Oh you meant the guys and gals you add hang out last night with at the pizza place and going to the movies to see Hangover last night. Where you didn't have to pay for anything just the guy friends did. I was so pissed myself when she told me that early this morning.

 

She just kept on saying these are guy friends nothing else is going on. Yeah right who do she think I am. She can't wait to get away from me so she can continue what she's doing.

 

Today she kept on saying you'll find someone better than her. That's the truth!

 

Now she's mad again saying that I won't buy her anything for her birthday. Can you all blame me for not doing so. Come on she drops this bomb shell on me about not loving me. So why should I go buy her something expensive for a person like that.

 

Never going to happen!

 

I don't think I can take another month of this non-sense with her at all.

Edited June 11, 2011 by coolheadal

[cyabye]

I was going to say I am not your doormat anymore.

 

Yes, I do know how it is. I also have 2 kids involved in which you do not. Count your blessings. You can just "cut loose" and run. The only thing that worked for me was finally "growing a pair", standing up for myself, values and morales and letting her go do whatever. Divorce from situations like this is a blessing. You may not "see" that now but you will.

 

Glad to see you standing up for yourself (aka growing a pair). I think it is totally disrepectful for her to make the comment about "others" doing it for her. I would distance myself from her totally. I wouldn't even speak to her anymore. Just pay your bills and get moving (out that is).

 

Friends? With friends like that coolheadel, who needs enemies? I fail to see why you were angry with my post as you just admitted you were being a doormat before. Which is fine. No offenses taken here. You learned from it and are moving on and not letting her have the power. It's time to man up. Keep some of that "pride" and be who you are meant to be. No longer the doormat.

 

cya

[robf1971]

. She got so pissed and said other guy friends would do it for me. Good for them!

 

Oh you meant the guys and gals you add hang out last night with at the pizza place and going to the movies to see Hangover last night. Where you didn't have to pay for anything just the guy friends did. I was so pissed myself when she told me that early this morning.

 

She just kept on saying these are guy friends nothing else is going on. Yeah right who do she think I am. She can't wait to get away from me so she can continue what she's doing.

 

Today she kept on saying you'll find someone better than her. That's the truth!

 

Now she's mad again saying that I won't buy her anything for her birthday. Can you all blame me for not doing so. Come on she drops this bomb shell on me about not loving me. So why should I go buy her something expensive for a person like that.

 

Never going to happen!

 

I don't think I can take another month of this non-sense with her at all.

 

She has a big sense of entitlement, your doing the right thing by making her pay for herself. Keep standing up for yourself.

[robf1971]

 

Someone like you don't seem to care.

 

On the contrary, I think he is spending his valuable time posting to help you. And giving you some quality advice too.

[coolheadal]

Yes, I do know how it is. I also have 2 kids involved in which you do not. Count your blessings. You can just "cut loose" and run. The only thing that worked for me was finally "growing a pair", standing up for myself, values and morales and letting her go do whatever. Divorce from situations like this is a blessing. You may not "see" that now but you will.

 

Glad to see you standing up for yourself (aka growing a pair). I think it is totally disrepectful for her to make the comment about "others" doing it for her. I would distance myself from her totally. I wouldn't even speak to her anymore. Just pay your bills and get moving (out that is).

 

Friends? With friends like that coolheadel, who needs enemies? I fail to see why you were angry with my post as you just admitted you were being a doormat before. Which is fine. No offenses taken here. You learned from it and are moving on and not letting her have the power. It's time to man up. Keep some of that "pride" and be who you are meant to be. No longer the doormat.

 

cya

 

I was looking for a sense of answers as here is a place for that. Thanks

[coolheadal]

She has a big sense of entitlement, your doing the right thing by making her pay for herself. Keep standing up for yourself.

 

I was the best husband and I did the right things in a marriage. But now I feel like I was being lied too and most of all used both her and her family. Of course she'll say that's not so.

 

Sure standing up feels a lot different with her. She doesn't like I see. Though. She likes to be the one who sits there and doesn't do anything. I going to let her do more things now.

 

As for her Birthday coming up in 11 days from now she's been hinting at expensive gifts but with the way current events are going and past and now she'll not going to get anything. She has made some threats about if I don't get anything or do anything I won't get anything for mine. But who cares! I told her best you can get from me would be dinner at Red Robin and that caused her to go off the handle.

 

Anyway I haven't seen here since almost 4pm yesterday. It' now 10am. Enough this nonsense. This is no way to be treated to be left here like she's doing. She doesn't care who she with. Those new guys in her life are in for a huge surprise.

[cyabye]

I was the best husband and I did the right things in a marriage. But now I feel like I was being lied too and most of all used both her and her family. Of course she'll say that's not so.

 

Sure standing up feels a lot different with her. She doesn't like I see. Though. She likes to be the one who sits there and doesn't do anything. I going to let her do more things now.

 

As for her Birthday coming up in 11 days from now she's been hinting at expensive gifts but with the way current events are going and past and now she'll not going to get anything. She has made some threats about if I don't get anything or do anything I won't get anything for mine. But who cares! I told her best you can get from me would be dinner at Red Robin and that caused her to go off the handle.

 

Anyway I haven't seen here since almost 4pm yesterday. It' now 10am. Enough this nonsense. This is no way to be treated to be left here like she's doing. She doesn't care who she with. Those new guys in her life are in for a huge surprise.

 

Cool, I would do NOTHING for her Bday. NOTHING. No happy Bdays, gifts or eating out. Nada! Pretend as if it's any other normal day for you and mean it. You might want to research the 180's here on LS. It's not meant to get your wife back in the game. It's meant for you to start healing, embracing your own power and moving on. In some cases it snaps the WS back into reality but your wife is on a destructive path marriage wise, personally and financially and unless you "jump" from the sinking ship, you will go down with her.

 

I know it's hard because you love her. I do not doubt that you are a good husband to her. But she does NOT love you, care that you are a good husband or care about your feelings. PERIOD! Her behavior (notice I said behavior = actions, which proves everything)is what you should be watching. It tells everything. To her it's all about her. Total selfishness. Where do you fit in? Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

 

cya

Edited June 12, 2011 by cyabye

[coolheadal]

At 1:20pm yesterday I got a call from her from the Cell phone. Saying hey you need anything at the supermarket. So I start to give her a long list to get. Might as well milk the her before I can't get anything like this again. She said long list. But we need the stuff.

 

The swearing from her when she go near the house for me to go out there to bring in the stuff. She needs to bring some of it in. When I got out I can't call her on the cell to come out to help me. Never the same street where on if you know what I mean.

 

But when she came in she had bags in tow. I was about to close the door then she said what are you doing go and get the rest out of vehicle. Boy she spend some of her money wow. For someone on a diet she back to drinking Dr Pepper again and Ginger-ale. I've quit drinking soda because it's bad for men and your bones. I only drink juice and filtered water from the tap.

 

Anyway she also got some of those expensive steak foot long like Philly steak type. She was being nice today. Might as well get what I can from her.

 

After that I had feel asleep on the love sofa she was watch TV from DVR recordings. When I had woke up and started to ask her about where she was and how was the party. People where asking for me. She hates when they do that. Then she started to get attiude again. Back to her normal self. I wanted to known where she was last night.

 

Again she replied at a friends house! Was it a Man or Woman Friend. She refuses to tell me. I pushed the issue even deeper. Kept on saying it was a Woman but it odd could be a Man. It was the time of the month for her so she never has sex. But still I came right out and said, Have you been fooling around with Men behind my back as you say you go out with them and they pay for your dinner and movies, that's considered dating and you can't tell me otherwise. You get text messages from men and that's still cheating an etc..

 

She got so pissed but I had stand up to her and use push it as much as I can get. She kept on say come on time of the month I not going to do it point to her private area an saying tampon nonsense. I am not talking about this time I am talking about any other time. That's where she won't answer me.

 

I have nothing to loose by asking her this. Prior I would never dreamed on doing it but this subject troubles me because she has broken our rules of the marriage by GOD. To me she doesn't care about that stuff. Only what she wants.

 

But you're right she doesn't care about me no more. She buys stuff to make me feel I should think about her birthday. But I am not doing anything for it as she:

 

1. doesn't come home

2. she doesn't talk nice to me (just sits there like a nail on door)

3. swears at me

4. lazy

5. doesn't help me

6. rude

7. going out with men either friends or not your still going out with them

8. wants to end all of this because she doesn't love me

9. I don't love her, I hate her after these guys are taking her out and allowing it to happen. That should be me and her and not them. She forgot about me and just started to flirt and be kinky showing off herself with online guys

 

That's why I am so mad, but I've put up a wall so I don't show it to her. Because that's how you get to me, if I am upset she'll try to pull me down. But being not sad or unhappy I can attack her by being strong!

 

This confuses her. I dropping her off my car insurance I don't really have health plan from her job she has the bare min and it's not great. I pay $800 a year for vehicle which she lets herr family drive around some don't have a DL, dont' get me started with that one. I only cover her and myself and no one else. I've warned her but she won't listen. So I can't trust her with that.

 

More expense for her though. I had asked her just 1 hr ago what she was going to do with her wedding dress. She started yelling because one I was disturbing her when she was watching her recorded tv show. She said listen I had paid for that. It has nothing to do with you. No you didn't I have the receipt I had paid $900 for that dress she didn't pay for it!

 

So her true colors are now shown, stays out late, goes out with men friends on dinner and movie dates and stay over at their houses since she doesn't want to be with me an etc..

 

Your answer is no this is not the type of girl I had wanted. I wanted to start a family, and she had wanted that, but I can see how she and her mom is with babies growing cycle. I would grade them a F. She's not ready to have kids nor is her mother a good grandmother who can't deal with crying babies. They have to be 1 years old before both of them can deal with them. I never heard anything like the before. Once the kid turns 6 years old she feeds them beer. Bad Grandmother. Wife is just like her!

Edited June 13, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

Well this will be it folks I have to get my act together and start packing up this week and next week get out of here. Can't take everything with me so I'll have to sell what I can. I just feel a bit nervous not knowing what the Bank is planning on doing. I read a notice she had open up but it doesn't say when the bank would take over her house. She won't show me nothing. I hate to be a spy and did into her bag to find out the truth.

 

Can't have a marriage don't know what's going on with important issues. Can't have a spouse you can't trust either..

 

I'll let you know what happens next.. If anything major happens..

[Eddie Edirol]

Hey Cool, Cyabye is right. Part of doing the right things as a husband is knowing when to put your foot down, especially when you think youre bieng lied to - in the beginning of the relationship, not now. You say all the other women you were with lied to you, but they can only lie to you when you let them. What you might have to do is read up on dating dynamics so you can understand how women work and how to avoid losing their respect. Because once you lose their respect, you lose their attraction, and then you get the lies. Also if you arent very romantic, thats another thing that could make your wife lose interest in you within the 13 years.

[coolheadal]

Hey Cool, Cyabye is right. Part of doing the right things as a husband is knowing when to put your foot down, especially when you think youre bieng lied to - in the beginning of the relationship, not now. You say all the other women you were with lied to you, but they can only lie to you when you let them. What you might have to do is read up on dating dynamics so you can understand how women work and how to avoid losing their respect. Because once you lose their respect, you lose their attraction, and then you get the lies. Also if you arent very romantic, thats another thing that could make your wife lose interest in you within the 13 years.

 

I am very romantic and loving guy, holding hands in public an etc. This is what attract them to me. Those who don't want a guy to open the door and close the door for them I feel they're not the right one for me. Most of the women I've men had husbands or boy friends who had abused them. Some of the stories they told me were outrageous. Well this girl here started out fine and then as she got older changed, and I may have not noticed the change. The issue we have is with her family stepping into our business. I don't like that. I wanted her to live with me in my other house, but again her family was over 1,500 miles away.

 

One girl I was with the ex girl friend always wanted to know if I was still married? She's a mess today. I did see her picture on one of the social boards. I guess the hard drinking and smoking got to her quick. That one was a good learning experience for me though. She had lied over 20 times. The rest were okay they all of some sort of issue going on. But no one is going to be 100% honest. I haven't found that yet. But this is what you have to expect today with the current modern women.

 

No more leave it Beaver house wives they're history. Today you have outspoken wives, that lie and cheat and get away with a lot of stuff. Sure I could be a mean husband, but I don't want to be that way. I wanted a 50/50 lifestyle but not a 5/95 one with this wife.

 

She had just came in a while ago and got me some stuff that I had needed. But she said what are you doing. I am packing up to getting ready to leave. Yes that's correct folks I am packing. I find I don't have a lot of stuff when it comes to clothes she's has much more than I do. But I do though. Wigs all over the place which I hate!

[coolheadal]

Well looks like 3 months and 2 are being used now to stick around Big F sign goes up on the front lawn. I would hate to be here when that happens. I am been packing up the boxes. I have a lot of electronics more than what she has. The other day she got mad because I have take the entire collection of Stargate Series 1 through 10, and now she wants some of them. Boy she haven't even blown off the dust in this house since we've moved in. But wait it was her mother who help moved her in. I am sure after I am gone she and family will help her move out.

 

Yesterday the wife came home earlier I guess after her dad B-day. Her mom made stuff peppers, this is something I couldn't eat if I had like them. I always get sick from her food. Anyway so the wife now looks like a sick sad puppy dog. But what can she do she already started the process. I don't want to even turn the page back after what I had said here was cleared up for me by you members here had replied back.

 

Thinking about things I see now that the wife wasn't the romantic type I was she would back off and didn't want to hold hands and such like those in love do. I know her family background don't show affection and if you do they make a joke out of it.

 

On well I think now I would do better than her, I won't miss the verbal abuse, the jokes nor the belittlement from her to me. There was a time I had thrown out the mother/father-in-law and since then I had to be on my P's and Q's with her. She might have not forgiven me on that one. But again they shouldn't be coming around unannounced when the wife wasn't home. But that goes to show you the wife never unpack stuff her family did it. I had unpacked more than she did.

 

What have she done since nothing.. Even last night the trash bag was there should could have put a new bag in this morning. No she just left the garbage on the counter. If her mom and dad was here they would have to do it for her.

 

She hasn't packed yet.. Just me...

[coolheadal]

360 turn around from the Wife..

 

But it's too late to change the events that started. I don't like head games and she's sure doing it to me a few hours ago. Acts like everything is back to normal but it's not!

 

Now she wants some of that money I going to get from my things I am selling. This nuts! She got her stuff why don't she sell it and collect that money and use that to support her new expensive apartment. I need that extra cash to pay for moving van and the car tow to get the heck out of here. Now she told me that the F sign process going to happen on the 23rd of this month.

 

What the heck is that? See again not telling me things. Now she's telling me there is a family reunion on July 2nd to 4th. I am not going with her or her family on 10 hour drive! I am trying to get out of this nightmare!

 

I also found out tonight she has looked at 8 apartments with her mom of course that could have been me and her but I not play for dinner all the time plus I won't go anywhere with my mother-in-law again in the car. She drives me crazy with those hmm all the time if you drive too fast you get a hmm!

 

The wife needs to get her act together and start looking on how she's going to move out of the house. Now she's worried about her credit. It's messed up already so why are you worrying about it!

 

She's taking about taking a vacation again? I said how the heck your going to go on vacation as you have to move in an settle on your new pad? She told me she needs a vacation after all of this!

 

There is another party this weekend at her moms house for the nephew grad-party. I wish I could go for him, but I am not going into that fire pit. Now that everyone knows what's going on with the wife and me. Too much joking around would be aim at me.

 

Then you got the father-in-law trying to beg me to sell my other car to him where he has no money to do so. It would be like IOU transaction. No way would I sell him the vehicle anyway.

 

I'll let you know what happens next..

Edited June 16, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

Yesterday she calls me up and says what are you making for dinner. While I don't have the time to make since cleaning up the my HO and packing up at the same time. So she said fine. I call her back up to say just get some SUBWAY and she already order for a fish bucket.

 

So at 6pm she was here. It felt like normal time but I know it was a dream as boxes around me.

 

Then she told me her blue tooth ear piece fell into water most like the toilet bowl and she wanted me to buy her a new one. I guess she forget what's going on between us. I am not buying anything like that. She'll have to go and buy it.

 

Funny how she's back to her old self, but soon after her swearing mouth started up. I had put her in her place and said, is this how your going to act talking rude and swear have some respect for me. Just grow-up already that had shut that dirty mouth right up.

 

End of days are just coming so close now..

[Mr.Harris]

What are you cooking for dinner? Seriously? Tell her to screw off and ask her sex buddies to fix her something to eat.

[coolheadal]

She's something else as we closer to her B-Day I haven't done anything for her and she can't buy me to get her anything either. I not forgetting what she has said or done so far. Makes me sick to think about all of this. The camouflage of making it feel like a dream for 3 days is over as it's early Saturday morning here 3:10am and where the heck is she? She never called nor came home on Friday. Same old story out with friends! Staying over who's house and in bed with who? As I don't care and when her B-day comes around I just going into the other room or just don't answer her calls. Let those so called men friends take her out then, if they mean so much to cause her to mess-up everything that was built-up.

 

Funny she thing she had mentioned to me on Thursday night was that she only wanted us both to live here one year the re-finance the house and rent it out and buy another house. Boy who's plan was that. She's nuts. 5 years later still here and now no more in a few weeks. Getting out of here is the hard part though. Yesterday I had to burn all my bank statements and other stuff I don't need to have her eyes on. We have a huge fireplace in the living room. So I just had dumped all my boxes of papers into it. Shredding would have taken way to long.

 

This one here she won't open her bills or mail from the Mortgage company for 5 years that mail stacks up here. They call every-day more than 10 times I won't answer the phone. As I know it's them. Shoot I might as well pull the cord out of the wall to have the phone stop ringing.

 

She also now keeps on telling me you'll find someone nicer than me. Why would you want someone like me she kept on saying. Now I don't want you and I can't stand you. Then she goes why would you say that!

 

What! Look at what you have started.

 

Let know you what happens next..

Edited June 18, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

Update...

 

Wife came home at 4am and looked worn out and drunk. Later she yells out honey come to bed? It wasn't until 1 hour later before I got into bed she was still up watching TV. Being ever so nice, but in the back of my mind I know what's the real deal. She said it was girls night out that's where she was. Keep the story and one day someone will believe it. I am not.

 

This morning one of the dogs was barking which means he needs to go out and do this business. She the wife wont' get out of the bed to do anything like walk the dogs. I have to get out and do it and never gives me a break. If I ask her it leads to argument always.

 

So before I got ready to take the dogs out she again made the comment hey do you need anything at the supermarket. I said yes I'll give you a list. She a list wait a minute. So I had walk out then came back to grab something then she made another comment. Did you get what I had told you to get? I said what? She said what about my blue-tooth ear piece. I told her no and I am not buying you one. She said why not! Come already you know why you want to break up the marriage an etc. But we're friends you can buy me it. Really but that's not the point I am making.

 

This just goes into another argument. Then she'll say whatever. Then enough going on about this. Okay if that's what you want fine by me. She said. Then she also said well you go your way I go my way and just sign the papers. I have never seen any papers yet. The point I was trying to get her that you can't have be entitled to things when you and I were together and things were like normal.

 

Now that's not the case. She won't understand and she told me she has to think about herself not me. Bang! Right on the nose see this is who she is. It's okay for her to show off her body parts on a web cam to strange men on online where I thought she was playing her backgammon, but she was't doing that. It's okay for men to take her out to dinner, movies all paid by them. She said they're just friends of mine. Friends no matter what they are you don't need to be out with them. Your married! Do you understand me!

 

Then she does that 360 and said fine, whatever! I'll just tune you out. No need to shout at me or get upset. But my point is she won't listen sense of reasoning. Slamming doors while I am trying to talk to her and leaving the lights on while she goes from room to room. She has to be the one in control and everything has to go here way or no way. I hate it and just not the way I had vision us to be in a relationship.

 

Now after this she told me I won't buy you anything more and I you do whatever you want. But I told her that's what you have been doing for who knows how many years. I had ask her to mail the Netflix DVD back to them she refuses. Stick it into her $500 buck leather tote bag and she had taken it out. So right there she's upset with me. I had dash and gave to her in her hand and said this account is in your name so if you don't mail it you're stuck with the outcome with that account.

 

Then she really starting swearing an etc.. All the way to her vehicle outside.

 

But what I can't understand is how she thinks I still have to give her things while were're going through these events now. I still can't figure here out how she's think and doing?

 

Last words from her is okay I see how your going with this so we won't be friends then! What sort of statement is that! I say how can I still be friends with a person who won't even listen to what I have to say!

Edited June 18, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

She comes back in a nasty mood and still manages to get me something go figure. I see she had just spend $292 bucks on 32GB iPod iTouch for her nephew graduation. So she has money to spend like that she can pay the Cable/Phone/Internet bill it's in her name. I am not touching it and sure if I don't I might not be able to tell you what happens next? I am just paying of the electric is in my name. The water is in her's too.

 

Anyway I was working on my other car I am going to sell and she just had finished cooking on the stove. What a mess she leaves behind when she does. She's not cooking for me she's cooking for her family and nephew. I had asked her to leave some food behind. She shout to me outside I had left you some food.

 

It looks like she was talking to someone on the phone. Because when she got outside she had a overnight tote that look like she wasn't planning on coming back to night. She said she wasn't! But when I had asked where you going she said I don't know and it's none of your business. I can go and come as I please you don't tell me what to do. Your not my mother! I am your husband, but you see how she is.

 

My next door neighbor is outside with his wife and kids and they're a family and I look at the wife and I don't see that sense of relationship anymore. Nor feel it was never like that. More like a nightmare. She cares more about herself, her family and nephews/nieces and not little old me..

Edited June 18, 2011 by coolheadal

[Steen719]

She is selfish, selfish, selfish and does not deserve you!

[coolheadal]

She is selfish, selfish, selfish and does not deserve you!

 

 

Thanks your right she doesn't! It's been 24 hrs since she took off!

 

A call came in today with no cell phone name on the Talking Caller ID. I usually don't answer those type of calls but today was Father's Day. But whoever it was kept on ringing in. So I had answered and said yes.. It was a guy friend of her from the past! Her family always made wise cracks about him and their daughter going out! They did it to get at me as they knew how to push my buttons. I know and that's why I don't hang around them. But he's married to a nice girl he had met on the Army base. They both have two kids now. He was married prior and he's the same age as my wife as they had gone to HS together.

 

I knew he could tell something was wrong with my tone of my voice. Maybe I should have told him what was going on here? But he's too hyper while his wife is more mellow (quite) My wife doesn't like her because of that. I think it a nice features to have. I wish I had what he has two kids and being happy.

 

He won't be able to come around here this week! I don't feel like playing the non-husband role or just being a friend deal just to go out to dinner with his wife and us. As the house has boxes everywhere I am not cleaning anything she would have to do it. I am so depress and I can't show her that. No showing weakness around her otherwise she'll take control.

 

Like she said " She can come and go as she please! She can also do whatever she wants to do that hasn't changed". Right there that has destroyed whatever was left in this marriage and there is no hope for it turning around. 3 strikes she's out!

Edited June 19, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

At 8:57PM last night! I get a call from her on her cell phone. Saying "hey! Do you want to come with me to get gas?" I told her a flat no! I was out with the dogs driving around testing out my car and was in that area already!" As I knew she don't want to spend her money to buy her own gas that she would be using.

 

At 9:30PM she get's back. I see she's been to KFC and leaves the trash from them around the kitchen. Can't she just throw in the bag into the trash. She tell me "that's your job!" She gets this behavior from her dad who does that same thing he throws out all the trash laying around their house. I tell her so many times I am not him and you need to pickup after yourself.

 

Into the night she tells me where she wants to go for dinner for her birthday. Boy she doesn't get it does she. And to top it off she has changed her color of her hair for a new look! Spending so much money and it doesn't even fair her! She told me she needed a change. Yes its a huge change all right. Don't you like she said. I said it's different! Left at that!

 

As for her birthday I think she'll just be doing what I do just stay at home as that's what she does with me when she goes out have fun time. I really don't not in any mood to spend time with her. As nothing has changed effect is still looming over the house.

 

I did tell her so and so was in town with his wife and two kids. They wanted together. I am not feeling right about that it would just bother me to first think his marriage is going well and second would be just play acting and that's not me. I would say the truth and just bow out of that get together completely.

 

Just feels flake to be around the wife knowing she doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me. But she does when she wants dinner at expensive joint. Not this year... Not going to happen. No Happy Birthday Card to the Wife either. Just not so.

 

Next month would have been our wedding anniversary which really hurts to think about it. She's not going to want to kick that off, so why not do the same with her birthday. She's dump to bring up to end as she should have covered it up and got another birthday for free!

[coolheadal]

Getting really nasty now as we get closer and closer to the end. Since this started I've notice that when I do the dishes in the dish washer there are some new drink glasses coming home with her. They're from a Comedy Club they also serve dinner too. She's been going they a lot now. We have half a dozen of these drink glasses now. I've never been there nor with her to that place!

 

She called prior today but I was busying cleaning the dogs again something she never does. She wanted to talk but I told her I was busy. She said whatever. I had called her back later to ask where the conditioner for the dogs. She's acts like she's on cloud 9 not the good way the evil way. She don't know look for it yourself or go and buy some you have your own cars.

 

Okay see she's moody. She also ask me are we doing anything for my birthday? Well I said, you need to tell me so I can make other arrangements. So I said to her you got one of those boy friends going to take you out to the club? She won't answer me? I ask her are you coming home tonight? She answered yes to start packing. So I didn't answer her and just hang up the phone!

 

So now we know hair color change (new wig) to new look

She did buy a blue-tooth ear piece she can call her bf now

So she's learning how to buy stuff spend her money instead of mine

She as made an appointment to take her vehicle into service

Wait for her to get slammed with $400 repair bill for that vehicle over 30,000 miles. I don't have to worry about that issue.

 

I've made the last car insurance payment, she'll get slammed when she has to go and get her own and I get her off my policy.

[coolheadal]

She came home early today, and told me bank is trying to do a short sale on the house instead of going Big-F, but that's mean For Sale sign instead. I am not cleaning anything in the house for them just come in and see it as is. Let the wife start cleaning the house she's been here 5 years time to get moving. I just notice something all those boxes I got rid up now there isn't enough to pickup with. No matter I'll just make due with what I have.

[coolheadal]

Today is the big day for the wife it's her birthday! The scheme she and her prior bf from the past when she was going to high school and was suppose to married as her mother kept going on and on about when I first met her daughter. She tells this guy everything that goes on in our lives. I have told her not to tell anyone I don't want to entire family or anyone. But she told me okay but she's told them all.

 

Now this gf guy from the past has come into town with his wife. So as I had said he's here this week only than goes back to the army base. My issue with him is I don't like this guy to smart with the answers.

 

So now she and I was going to go for dinner I know what you all said but that's about it. I did get a very cheap card .50 cents at a dollar store . It read just happy birthday and nothing else. I was going to place in it all our first pictures together and that was her gift from me.

 

Don't care if you like that or not that's the way it's is and how I feel inside. I am starting to get that bitter feelings which I hate to be in.

 

Anyway she and this bf plans to go to Ruby Tuesday, I am not going to that place go to a steak house chain house joint. They said okay. But now after she got in after 3am drinking and hanging out with more male friends as she can't tell me why and who's she's going with as she kept on saying I can come and go and see whoever she wants!

 

So I had asked her did you tell the bf about what was going on with us, and she said yes! I was so upset why did you do that! She said why not! I told you not do and she gone and did it anyway. I then told her listen I am not going go with you today. Then she go mad saying your ruin my birthday again! How have I ruin again. Why because? Of your bf and I won't be there to make you look good! We never gone with anyone before on your Birthdays this is the first time. Really I don't want to go anyway just not right. Weird feeling sitting there and everyone knows that we're getting that Big D word.

 

Best let her go as she wasn't coming home and then I drive her she's going like we're friends where she drives from work to the place to meet them. I am sure the bf wife will bring their two small boys that's just too much to take in, knowing that will never with the wife. Plus I would be so uncomfortable being in that situation.

 

I feel now that the wife doesn't care anything more about me she's doing whatever she wants. I am just along for the nightmare road trip.

Edited June 23, 2011 by coolheadal

[Owl]

So...what's your goal here?

 

Divorce?

 

Reconciliation?

 

What are YOU working to accomplish in this situation?

 

I see updates with a lot of strife and disagreemant in them...but I don't see updates that indicate to me that YOU are working towards reconciling the marriage, or divorcing her.

 

Get a goal in mind. Develop a plan to reach that goal. Implement your plan.