13 years of with the Wife and now she tells me?

[Memphis Raines]

No your right I am not. She's not getting this check even if it's for $425 just too much of a hassle with her. Plus she's telling me she's still selling or giving away my stuff.

 

document when she said this and give it to your attorney.

[Mauschen]

Why are you even talking to her at this point? If I didn't have kids with my ex, he would be dead to me. Stop talking to her - you'll feel much better the sooner it happens.

[coolheadal]

I am not talking to her she's calling me up like she's all nice. Everything is documented. I had spoken to the AC Company today and told them I was not seeking brand of AC install rebate from brand company. Due to the Wife and me are in Separation mode which is really bad between her and me. Do not except call from (wife name) or allow her to be placed on the invoice and do now send her a copy of the invoice since she is not the legal of this house. This was the only way to have this documented and kept on file there. So they can be prepared just in case she would call them up. She's that type that would do this just to get some money for free.

 

Anyway all those nasty pictures of her self showing it off on Web Cam on the Cell phone I had got her I have to originals with me. Also instant messaging to these guys on line she was trying to get a date with. Telling them was she was doing behind my back and why she was doing it.

 

The Sexual disease was the worst notice to me from what I could see. It's negative but still she told me it was private and I shouldn't have open it! I told her I was worried and what I could thing I did open that clinic mail. I would never knew what she was doing behind my back. She said this gets this every year this test for her company. Funny I check the mail every day I never seen this before. She never opens her mail too.

 

Anyway this entire thread post has so much of what she was doing to me and it's not what I call a happy thread. Today it's a different world for me. Next month she'll see how life is really going to be. That's when stuff happens like on my end.

 

Like a domino effect!

 

She'll be calling me up but I have phone blocks in place, and dropping my cell she contacts me by. The other one I can block her calls too. But you know if she just send me my stuff this wouldn't have happen. But she doesn't care to send it just try to get money from me so she can be more happy. Too bad it's not going to play out like that.

 

So this Saturday is another Yard Sale which is my stuff on sale by her!

Edited August 27, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

She's at it again.. text message for help with netflix .. I just text her back saying did you find that document I need to be mail to me it's been over month. I'll keep on repeating this message every time one of those stupid text message for help with stuff she sends me. I am not going to help her at all.. No stuff sent no help with your dumb questions!

[coolheadal]

Her message back to me is:

 

I have not went through any of your stuff (my name). I haven't even found my document yet. I need to rent a truck for 1 more day 2 hopefully to get rest of my stuff

 

Again her stuff is mentioned but yet she given all my stuff away or sold it.. I can't believe she's even saying this back. I am not doing anything or saying anything until that document is sent. Just because she lost hers doesn't mean my is lost it's right there in the home office in a box. How hard is it to to take it out of the box and send it to me.

[coolheadal]

Oh boy..

 

Before I left that house I left her with a Wireless Network for her to manage. Gave her all the passwords and such. So last night I get a call from a upset women her! She didn't know what to do? I wasn't even paying attention to her. First I had told her stop swearing at me! Otherwise you'll be on your own with this one. She quickly stopped. I had taken control over the conversation. I know how she like to push buttons and make people listen to her. With me I don't listen anymore so you're dealing with a new guy now! Frankly I don't have anything to loose or gain so I can do what I want!

 

Of course she's starting swearing and demanding but I told her listen who are you talking to like that! It better not be me. She also had Cable company on the phone too. She can't get any help from no body and can't connect to your company network VPN. To me she's lazy with things like this and depends on me to help her. She even made a odd comment that I should fly up to help her and she'll even put me up! This is nuts why would she even suggest that to me!

 

I am not going anywhere near her. I told her again where is my stuff and what are you doing about it. AGain other broken record. So I dish it out this time and said you need to stop depending on me to help solve your issues. She said that's your job, no that's not my job anymore that's yours!

 

In all too me don't know if she can really mange things like a house or were she is living now. I guess she didn't think all this through but too late for that because my life is 100% better than how I was with her in the house.

 

In a few days will be my birthday I wonder if she even care to say anything about it. No matter if she does or doesn't not really important anymore.

 

In her life it's just jokes and punch lines gets her going..

[coolheadal]

Rough weekend with her on the phone again... I told her off and told her what type of person she is.. All she does is text me the words 'WHATEVER".. Can you believe this.

 

Last night my dog had to be rush to 24 hour Animal Hospital, it was accident on my part. I was cleaning the hot grill and the dog was out doing this thing, I had called him back but looks like the tip of his tail got in the patio door I had closed it and he had yelled with a loud cry. It had happen so fast. I still don't know how that happen? Really shocked me! The AH was going to close, I had place the dog and his bleeding tail end in in my SUV and drove over 60-80mph to get him to this place late at night here. I was trying to get there. I did get their as they were waiting for me.

 

They have the dog over night and he'll be operated on to try to save his tail end. They might have to remove that part. I feel so bad, I decided to give the SWife a call. She started to huff and puff on the phone with me trying to say you did to my dog. She's so bad even with this. I am so upset over the dog and really didn't need her BS to kick-in.

 

Later when I got home I had to remove all the blood out of the rear seat, in the house also on the walls. It's a huge mess. I have to do it. I decided to call the SWife at 2am of course doing so make her mad, but I didn't care I wanted to state my point! She needs to get off this high plane she thinks she's at. Doing the conversation with her I had learned she had someone over for Labor Day, again she just can't come out and say who it was. It's guy friend but she still can't tell me she doing that, so stupid.

[jaymz]

STOP. TALKING. TO. YOUR. WIFE

 

Get the divorce done, move on with your life.

[coolheadal]

STOP. TALKING. TO. YOUR. WIFE

 

Get the divorce done, move on with your life.

 

Man oh Man, I wish it was that easy! She's going to drag this out.. I've ignored her calls and text though. Now she sends pictures too. Don't get it? Why act like you can still have both worlds one without me and one with me away from you?

[coolheadal]

She's a Narcissistic! I should have seen this coming since day one but like most men we tend to not deal with it. Today I am happy and might have found someone new to be happy with. Might be too soon for me but just happen last week. I hope it can lead to more than friends but I won't push it. I am still trying to get over the Wife Separation being that she was Narcissistic, and play her hand in Emotional Blackmail with projective identification which in all lead up to being traumatized by her behavior at me.

Edited September 9, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

A few things have come into play now. Since a few weeks ago I've met someone and had decided to allow her to stay here in my house with me. Big move but I wanted someone more like me in the same values I share. She as joined LS too and support me every which way. I am much happier than before... Hope to have kids one day with her too. But first we need to drop the Ex off my back.

 

I've contacted the Ex and told her to get the Divorce papers ready or whatever she was planning on doing this the quickest way. Seems to be $299 option to get out of the marriage. I'll have to check into that which I did but she told me I just press one button and we're done. Seems to simple.

 

Also when I had contacted the EX by text, it seems she was with a guy out of town. Never can get a real answer out her. So until she gets back I have to wait this out. Now since she never sent anything to me as of yet. I told her send the papers along with my stuff. First she said yes but quickly changed her answers. I was going to fly to her and get my stuff and send it by the post. I'll pay extra for that. Just taking so long with her and she's not doing anything for me. Same goes with me.

 

Another things she wants to live the USA and go to Euro to work? I told her to go for it and get away. Sure enough her parents will watch the other dog. I have given-up on that one. I don't think he'll ever been the same again as I have raised him.

 

I'll let you all know how this ends.. I hope soon.. Too much dead weight dragging on my back with her...

[soserious1]

hold the phone ! You are letting some woman move in?

 

You can't be serious here?

[coolheadal]

hold the phone ! You are letting some woman move in?

 

You can't be serious here?

 

 

I don't live with the ex. I moved over 1,420 miles from her. I have my own house prior to being with her. It has nothing to do with her. She and I have a house in another state. But that's house was in her name she screwed up the mortgage on that house. So now the bank took it.. But they're trying to do a quick sale on it I did loose my money on that house over $50,000 on that house. Never get it back from her though.

 

As for me, I have found someone else and moved her into my house here. Why can't I do that? I don't see any issues doing that!

 

I'll let you all know what happens with the ex and me since that's how this post started back when it first happen.

[CarrieT]

As for me, I have found someone else and moved her into my house here. Why can't I do that? I don't see any issues doing that!

 

 

The issue is the fact that from the date of your posts, you have known this new woman a whopping THREE WEEKS and you are far from healed from the damage your marriage caused you.

 

You can't see ANY issues whatsoever with moving so fast into another relationship that involves living with someone?

 

Man-o-man, did the rebound monster eat you up.

[coolheadal]

The issue is the fact that from the date of your posts, you have known this new woman a whopping THREE WEEKS and you are far from healed from the damage your marriage caused you.

 

You can't see ANY issues whatsoever with moving so fast into another relationship that involves living with someone?

 

Man-o-man, did the rebound monster eat you up.

 

I know what your saying, but I can't make that be an issue. I got to be happy, I don't want to be on my own just me and the dog. He's a best pal though, of course things have changed now here. Everyone going to have difference experiences. I am lucky things have worked out so far. Just have to get the Ex off my back!

 

This weekend I got a call from the Ex. She was pissed off with me. But I didn't let it effect me. She finally used one of the membership cards on Sunday must have got embarrassed when it was use to learn her spouse account was removed and cancelled. Her remark was "DID YOU REMOVE ME OFF YOUR ACCOUNT" Then hanged up on me! I shouldn't have answered the phone. I thought she was calling about the Divorce stuff. I guess wrong. Next a text came in with a threat saying "YOUR ACTIONS CAUSED YOU TO LOOSE YOUR STUFF NOW".

 

My new girl friend was asking me what was going on she. I told her. She step in to the game and text the Ex back for my behave. It had gone on for a good hour or so. The finally end was the Ex said you can come for your stuff. But I wanted to make it clear she needs to send it back to me. The new girl friend said she's the type that won't do that for you. She's selfish and girls like her I know what they're like. She won't stop bothering you! Also your Ex needs to go and seek treatment for her mental state she's in. I don't know how you put up with her for 13 years!

 

Well going back up there just to mail my stuff back here is an option. I really don't want to confront the Ex or her wacko family. The new girl friend told me she would go with me up on the trip by air. I still have to think about it as for the dog would have to go into a doggy stay place and they're going to charge up the wall for that.

 

The text messaging back and forth from the EX was nasty and letting it all out as she did. But good to see what's going through her mind. My girl friend kept saying to her in the text "Listen don't expect to get anything help from me or any recipes when you text or call-up" Keep going on with your texts and your not in control I am an etc.., stuff like that was text to the Ex. I was telling the girl friend need to quit it. Seems it was getting out hand and she was getting into this text attack.

 

I was in the shower when she told me the Ex had called twice, but I never bothered to return the calls.

 

I'll let you all know what happens next..

Edited October 3, 2011 by coolheadal

[coolheadal]

In November had sliced off a part of finger on so typing was near impossible. So still the finger hasn't heal completely the ER Doc told me it will grown back and I was lucky it didn't go down to the bone. Then I would have issues. Since my last post here I haven't heard a word from the Ex about anything. There has been drama here too but not like it was up with the Ex.

 

On 11.29.11 I had text the Ex to tell her how to contact me and what had happen to the dog and me plus what's going on with divorce? It wasn't until mid-day I get a call from her from her job saying:

 

How is my dog! I said you can't say hello how you doing? Of course no answer to that one. Second she kept on bullying me on the phone with comments about my present situation. Like she knows whats going on here? Can't see how she knows that since I am over 1,400 miles away from her!

 

She had said how's the girl your with what's her name again? First off I was so surprise to here her say anything about what I was doing. It's like someone told her. Well beside that she was on the phone for hours well her cell phone then she was able to still work and be on her company phone. She had me in the rest room she had me through out the day. Even in the parking and driving to her corporate building in the capital city.

 

She just kept talking about stupid things that made know sense. The main issue was taking her off the Costco spouse account. That was the worst I could do to her. She wasn't along that day she had one of her bf with her. She told me he was acting like me. She was planning on getting rid of him. She wants a man who can make his own decisions (but really she wants a man to be controlled by her!)

 

She can't understand why she and I can't be friends through all of this and that I am not the victim here. Boy she kept on saying my gf name or trying to say it but couldn't .

 

She said how did you two meet? Where, when and how? Like I was going to tell her anything like that. Nope it was going to happen.

 

I wanted her to tell me about the men or what she was doing all this time. She finally give in and told me she wanted me to be happy with someone else. She said are you happy? First what the heck does she care if I am happy or not?

 

She couldn't give crap about me so why would she want to know! Of course she never answered my questions so dido to her too. About 4 hours into this I was walking the dog and checking the mail so glued into the conversation. It was strange she never gone the meeting and another thing I bet there wasn't one. But she gone home into her new place. So I wanted to hear the other dog but again being the way she was it was never going to happen.

 

I again asked her about my things? She told me she hasn't sold anything. So all this time she was lying to me. Trying to take some stabs at me to make me feel said and curt over my stuff. What type of women would even do that? To me she sound like she got her kicks off just knowing she might have some control over me which she doesn't. Still the questions about who I am with or not with comes up in every sentence.

 

So let me tell you all what have learned.. The house was sold but was in the final steps. It sold for less than it was worth so the quick sale did make it. The next door neighbor has her house up for sale. The Ex is seeing 3 men. One she's been with all throughout this mess and then there is a business guy from out of town. The 3rd one is still a mystery though. But still for Thanksgiving she takes the guy she's with to her parents house of course they like him better than me she said. I said it doesn't matter to me I am not with her again.

 

Other things that were said was sex and how she happier now. I said you had a test done for sexual transmitted diseases. She said she just want to make sure she didn't catch anything with the 3 men she been having protected sex with. Oh boy she was on a roll. Well now I know it's been truth the IMs were the men she was involved with and met online and in person. There were not gf she was staying with she was at the guy house living and have sex with him. He has taken her to Atlantic City that first time and now a few weeks ago.

 

Well as for the divorce she want's me to look into it some on google:

 

divorce pro se but when I did it's not a free service but I am saying since she has triggered all of this why doesn't she take care of the process?

[coolheadal]

Well I am doing fine found someone where been together almost 1 year.. Had taken some time to get that going smooth. The other one lost the house to the bank. My things she said she has them stored somewhere but not all. I just don't believe her. I had a friend who was driving through there on his way back would have taken in Mini Van and loaded it up with whatever she had kept for me and then he would have shipped them to me. But she had blocked that attempt saying don't get mad at me, I don't have the time to dig those things out. Just her saying that is a lie to get me to drive backup their to deal with her drama. Nah not going to happen.

 

She calls me up in April 2012 to tell me her brother-in-law had died. He and I were very close but in the end I guess he had found out what her older sister did on him. They were married and like her she had cheated on him. I guess now I am seeing how this stuff runs in the family. The Ex has done and omitted doing so with 3x men where one was just like me.

 

All she remembers about me is how I had spend a lot on her for Christmas, she's more into material things. So last month I get a call from her saying she ready for the divorce paper filling.. Odd with her she calls me up on her cell phone at work drives home and still on the cell with me. She tells me she misses me being there when she comes home. I am not there. Wake-up I am not there anymore.. Don't see what the point bringing up that. She started this mess.

 

I would not go back to her life and her family again. They can live that way. Not me, I have someone who cares about me as I care for her. The Ex needs to get those papers taken care of as soon as she can. Then she tells me a tale that the life insurance policy she has for me if she gets killed or died an etc.. She doesn't want me to have it. But told me I had to sign papers. I told her the only papers I am signing is the divorce ones.

 

So that's about it.. Her life sounds harsh compare to mine, without me there paying for the bills and she can do whatever she wanted, but now she's mostly in here small condo living with the other door who's really sad and upset over this. I can see it in his pictures.

 

Well I can't have both dogs here just too much work for me to manage. One is enough.. She the Ex needs to get over me and go on with her life and what she wants to do. Kept saying she wants to move to another state nearer to me. She's nuts. Or even move were I am. Never going to happen.

 

She won't leave her family who packs her stuff up and moves her into a new place where she doesn't have to life a finger. I can't see here leaving her home for somewhere she needs help with.

 

I look at here and say this person is a fair weather wife (fake wife) the 13 years with her wasn't that great was just a bad life that just ended in 2011.

 

Divorce papers suppose to take 6 months to get finalize.. I hope by the 2012 it will come to the. I won't be this person friend as she is not a friend.

Edited September 10, 2012 by coolheadal

[2sunny]

Why aren't YOU taking the action yourself?

 

You start the D. YOU go get your stuff yourself!

 

Why do you leave all the DOING to everyone but yourself?

 

The D isn't finished because YOU haven't done a thing to get it done.

 

That's not fair or right to that new gal you moved in so quickly.

 

Proper order is key - start doing something to get it finished. You can only blame yourself for not doing anything.

[darkmoon]

"She won't cook, clean or nothing. I have to do it all"

yes, women get tired of a life of cooking and cleaning resposibilities, the very toilet to clean every day etc.

it's no life, not really, it's no life at all

Edited September 10, 2012 by darkmoon

[g450]

So...what's your goal here?

 

Divorce?

 

Reconciliation?

 

What are YOU working to accomplish in this situation?

 

I see updates with a lot of strife and disagreemant in them...but I don't see updates that indicate to me that YOU are working towards reconciling the marriage, or divorcing her.

 

Get a goal in mind. Develop a plan to reach that goal. Implement your plan.

 

He has no goal. He has avoided every seriouse question posted of him. I literally fell asleep reading all his stuff. I read just enough of his stuff to realize that he is either a troll looking for attention or he is the worlds biggest doormat. If the later then I can see why his wife lost any and all attraction towards him. Who wants to be married to an insecure wimp? Good God the man posts every time she farts. Talk about codependancy issues. Then later he claims to have a new girlfriend. Somebody please call the Jerry Springer Show. This one should make for a good episode.

 

But as I said, I call a farce on this. Probably some drunk college kids creating all this drama to raise a few hairs here. Hell the alleged OP isnt really talking TO US anymore. He is talking TO HIMSELF. It's like reading a diary of somebody who has mental issues.

[coolheadal]

In October of 2012 I finally told the EX I never trust her. Who would have thought that would push her to the next step.

 

First week in November 2012 I get a certified letter, I had ask the postman who that from he was nice of enough to show me. Oh from the Courts.

Yes the letter has finally come for divorce. But the paper work doesn't make much sense to me. I had a friend look it over and his day is a corporate lawyer for some sports team.

So the dad calls me up to tell me what I should do and he suggested nothing there was not court number on the papers.

 

Then a few weeks past then state court site the court case number appeared. So the friend dad said we had some thing to work with now. So he made some calls to that state court system to find out what was the best move I should make.

 

Ex didn't want anything from me no money and no nothing! So that was good. All she said was the marriage was fizzled!

Now the friends dad told me we'll write a letter and you just sign your name to it. Send this letter to the state court as soon as you can.

 

So that's what I did signed the letter and sent it Express Mail. The court date was Feb 2013. No I didn't have to attend I was out of that state. All this was done through the court system.

 

She paid the court fees.

 

I haven't heard a word more on this subject. It's now the of April 2013 and I guess the paper works takes time to reach me.

 

Since October 2012 I never heard from the Ex again. All calls have stopped but then again I got rid of the communication part behind us for good.

Edited April 22, 2013 by coolheadal

[Radu]

I hope you solved your codependant issues.

[coolheadal]

I hope you solved your codependant issues.

 

Well that time is now past, and I would like to say to survive for 13 years with a woman like that was the only way to do it. Sure I could have left but it was complicated at best, maybe if I was nearby where I am now but that wasn't the option I had.

 

Things happen, you never know what can. People wear mask to cover-up who they really are, and you don't see the true person under this mask until it's too late.

I a nice guy but being nice can lead to people who can take advantage of what I have to offer and this woman was a control freak!

 

I have met someone else who I did say in these posting back in 09/11. Still with her today! Most aren't so lucky to handle one bad relationship and jump into a new one so fast.

 

Here I more myself prior leaving here 14 years ago to live with that Ex in her wild kingdom!

Edited April 27, 2013 by coolheadal