Make a list of your negative points...and find a corresponding positive

[Thinkalot]

We all have flaws ...but there is always a brighter side too...this exercise is good for building self-esteem and not being too hard on yourself. Might make some of you feel better about yourselves.

 

Here's mine (off the top of my head right now...)

 

NEGATIVE-POSITIVE

 

 

I obsess/worry/feel anxious- I am driven, successful, and achieve a lot in a day

 

I am a perfectionist and fuss about small details- I get things right, analyse well, and notice things others don't

 

I'm emotional and over sensitive- I feel deeply, I am compassionate, I can empathise, I experience a lot

 

I like to argue a point- I'm great on a debate team and think things through well

 

I worry too much what others think- I am considerate and caring to others

 

I take on other's problems (ie my mum's)- I am a great daughter, and try to do what I can

 

I find it hard to relax- I am enthusiastic, fit, active and always exploring new places

 

 

 

I'm sure there are others...but that's it for now.

 

Your turn.

[carla]

HMMMMM............ Can't think of any negetives, I'm perfect.

 

Well ok......

 

I tend to be unorganised at times/I know where things are as long as they are where I left them.

 

I can procrastinate at times/I do things to the best of my ability as long as I do it right away.

[SoleMate]

OOOOoooohhhh, COOL idea!

 

I'm going to take the time to work on this in private, and maybe I'll even share the results. Thanks for an inspiring thread.

[Goatsbreath]

Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene..............Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene.............Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene..............Damn It! WHy did you have to do this to me. I cant think of the flip side!

[Arabess]

Originally posted by Goatsbreath

Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene..............Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene.............Im very shy and withdrawn on the social scene..............Damn It! WHy did you have to do this to me. I cant think of the flip side!

 

BUT you do post, share your feelings and help others.

 

There IS a flip side......

[Arabess]

I procrastinate......but have the ability to accomplish more in a day than most.

 

I love to eat....but can go on a diet or beef up exercising in a heartbeat when my pants get snug.

 

I am afraid of love.....but have the capacity of a great love.

 

I drink a lot of beer......but am a really fun drunk.

[wideawake]

I sometimes have ADD......what are we talking about?

[Goatsbreath]

Thanks Arabess, its alot easier to be web social.

[yes]

this is a good self-esteem exercise, but i'm not sure it's such a good idea to validate or justify your flaws. just gotta be careful here. better to work on reducing a flaw than finding benefits in it, isn't it? well - i guess it's both, cuz you can never reduce it to zero. work to reduce it, and validate the rest

 

my 2c,

-yes

[Tony T]

I need to learn humility - I am the greatest of all time!!!

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by Arabess

I procrastinate......but have the ability to accomplish more in a day than most.

 

I drink a lot of beer......but am a really fun drunk.

 

Why am I not surprised by this

[longlegzs80]

This is such a great thread topic. I will have to come back to this latter.

[meanon]

I drink a lot of beer......but am a really fun drunk.

 

No, you don't say Cheers Barbie... BEER 2!!

[Arabess]

You know Meanon....YOU are the one who starts that beer thing every evening for me. I just drink to keep you from being lonely. HAHAHAHA!

[meanon]

Yes I remember distinctly the PM telling me you were LOOKING at the beer just waiting for me to twist your arm LMAO. Hadn't you better get a move on??? BEER 3!!!

[CurlyamI]

Originally posted by yes

this is a good self-esteem exercise, but i'm not sure it's such a good idea to validate or justify your flaws. just gotta be careful here. better to work on reducing a flaw than finding benefits in it, isn't it? well - i guess it's both, cuz you can never reduce it to zero. work to reduce it, and validate the rest

 

my 2c,

-yes

 

Well, it depends on how you see it, because both too little or too much of a certain quality may turn into a shortcome. This exercise may prove to be useful if you learn how to create the equilibrium.

[Thinkalot]

Originally posted by CurlyamI

Well, it depends on how you see it, because both too little or too much of a certain quality may turn into a shortcome. This exercise may prove to be useful if you learn how to create the equilibrium.

 

Yes, I think finding the balance is the key. Some personality traits will always be there...we can reduce them, but we usually can't remove them entirely. So instead of bashing yourself over the head because you aren't 'perferct' (whatever your definition of that might be)...why not find some things to celebrate about the aspects of yourself that you previously disliked.

 

Understanding that we are all made up of different characteristics. I used to worry because I wasn't as laid back and 'life of the party' as some. Then I realised that I don't need to be that way. I have my own qualities, which the 'life of the party' might not have for example.

 

So rather than always comparing and thinking in terms of 'who is best'..I just think we are all good in our own way.

 

This has helped me in my quest not to compare myself with my guy's ex. I was always trying to be 'better'. It is destructive competing like that. Now I accept that she is a good person, and so am I. And that I am simply a better match for my guy than she was. Simple. I don't need to be the 'best person in the world' to make him happy, or to make myself happy for that matter.

 

This is a learning process I am on...exercises like this help quite a bit.

[CurlyamI]

Actually I believe flaws are a the spice in our lives. Perfect people tend to be boring.

 

In terms of comparison, I try to compare myself to me, to the best I can be, not with those around me, I've never even thought once "who was best". Except maybe in highschool, when everybody's problem was a low self esteem ) .

 

And at times, I like being unperfect, 'cause I tend to be oversensitive, but when I read a good book, a poem or enjoy a beautiful sight seeing, I feel I can really really connect to it. IT does get hard on a daily basis, but I have learnt how to protect myself. And I definetely don't compare myself to an ex. It depends on everyone, I guess...to me it just makes no point.

 

You don't choose to fall inlove only with people that are compatible to you, or with the better person. I am sure your boyfriend loves and apreciates you for who you are, not for your trying to be better than his ex. Sounds like she's a big part of both your lives...

[meanon]

I agree, it's the things that make our loved ones distinctive that we love them for and as long as the character flaws do not exact to high a cost on us, we love them for their flaws, their quirks as much if not more than for their virtues. It's hard to warm to a paragon. Our human frailties and vulnerabilities define us just as much as our strengths. Surely you find this with Bunnyboy ? This is a good way of dealing with the perfectionist in you . As I got side-tracked with the BEER conversation last night I'll add mine now:

 

I'm easily bored - cope well with change

 

I need lots of social contact with others - get on well with people

 

I'm too sensitive - able to empathise easily

 

I get very carried away by things I am interested in (to the exclusion of other important things which also need my attention) - sorry I can't think of a positive to this one

[Thinkalot]

Originally posted by meanon

 

I get very carried away by things I am interested in (to the exclusion of other important things which also need my attention) - sorry I can't think of a positive to this one

 

What about- very interested and enthusiastic about lots of things. I'm like that too, my attention spins from one things to the other quite quickly.