Zeze Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 My husband had an on and off affair with woman since 2008. I recently found out by reading his personal and work emails, and from what I could tell in his personal emails, they broke up 7 months ago for the last time. A couple of weeks ago, however, one of his co-workers contacted her because a job opened up as my husband's assistant. She said no to the job. It was a full time position and she's apparently a stay-at-home mom. The girl emailed my husband's direct employee, the one looking for the replacement (since he's too busy) a few days later, to thank the employee for considering her. The employee emails back saying that she had just talked to my husband about her and mentioned that the other lady had reached out to her. She then says "if this became a part time position, would you be interested?". The girl says no, claiming it's because she won't look for a job until the end of the year and will be looking for a FT position, but if the position is still available then, she'd of course consider it! Here's the thing: it was a position working part time for one dept. and part time for my husband! After my husband heard what she said, he turned it into a part time position for the other dept. only! And he's no longer looking for an assistant!! He had the email trail with the girl forwarded to him by the employee, even! There were also a few comments in other emails about how difficult it would be to not have an assistant there (when he made a decision to turn that position into PT, for the other dept.). In other words, he is making other people work harder to save the job for her! Am I right to think that he's saving that position in the budget until the end of the year to bring her back?! Isn't this a little suspicious? (By the way, he makes all the hiring decisions and chooses which are part of the budget, the hours, etc.) I am thinking about waiting until then to see if he really wants her and if I'm right, then see how it goes. If it's really over, I would forgive him, but I'm also considering counseling, but not telling him right away. Am I right to assume he had that reaction because he wants her back? I would appreciate your honesty because I can't discuss this with anyone at the moment.
PegNosePete Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 When you found out about the affair, did you make it absolutely clear that he is never to have any contact with her ever again? If not then what consequences for his affair did you impose? If he didn't pay for his actions then he will see no reason not to repeat them.
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