Ryan1 Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Hello All, Going through a rough time here and need advice. I recently broke up with my first long time GF and first person I have loved. Long story short, we was in a rut and a routine. I was down to me, I wouldnt shower for two days, wouldnt have a shave for days on end maybe weeks etc and each day was the same. We would eat out for lunch and dinner and then watch tv between meals and as I went to work (from home), she would just watch tv. This is how it was for the last month and half but 18months before that was really happy. We have decided to take a break from the relationship and see each other once twice a week and see if we can get that magic back. She wants to be wooed and taken on dates just like we used to do. That is what she said, as well as losing attraction due to putting on weight.mShe wants me to get back like I used to be etc. She has moved out her stuff and gone to live with family, as still young. I am getting mixed signals. She is coming over etc and we do stuff, she told me shes been on another date (we kinda agreed we are not together) and this guy has talked her in to another date (its going on right now). when we talked about having the break it was so she can see what she is missing and come back to me for herself and not for me and that I can understand. But the mixed signals are that she said she loves me and she will never get the connection we have, she just wants the magic back and me to work at it. But then she goes out on a second date, if she goes on a third date with the guy it will be curtains (first date is when you start getting feelings for someone else). I dont know what to do, its killing me being friends but I dont want her to meet someone else. Do you think this is savable? Or cut my losses.
WillSingForFood Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 It is savable, but as long as you do what she says and tries to work at getting the magic back. There is no more spark, and without it, she doesn't feel like you have a really strong, solid, relationship. Here are a few things you can try doing -Lose weight like she said, work at going to the gym to get back in shape -Find some hobbies that you can do without her - football, playing pool with the buddies, bowling, learning a new sport, whatever -Find some hobbies that you can do with her - dancing, cooking classes, volunteer work, whatever -Make a list of things she loves to do. Take her to do those things. Do new things with her as well. -Buy her flowers and go back to the basic steps of wooing her. Pick her up, meet her at her door, compliment her, give her the flowers, take her out to a restaurant, take her to a movie, go for a walk, take her back home. Just the basics of beginning to date someone, to remind her what it's like to date you again, and not just be with you. -Praise her for who she is and shower her in love. Do little things to surprise her and to show her how much she means to you. Lots of things you can do
23go4 Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I just went through something like you. She has always had a friend since we have been dating and she claimed they were just friends. I said ok, I trust you, but not him. 22 months after we break up and guess what!? She is going on dates with the guy that she claimed were just "friends" In my case she wasn't happy and she didn't feel like we were going to work out. which if she really genuinely loved she would have worked things out with me. You say she wants things to be exciting and new again like when you first started dating. When things are fun and thrilling and you never fight with each other. She is going on dates with another guy which is making things fun, exciting, and thrilling. It makes her feel like somebody really cares about her and wants to impress her. I can tell you one thing, she is either going to leave you and go off with this guy and when the fun and thrilling stuff end she will realize how wrong she was and come back to you. you can try two things, go NC until she comes back to you or talk to her and tell her that you want to rework the relationship and go out on dates and have fun again, but if all she wants out of the relationship is fun and excitement then I would predict she doesn't want to be in a commitment instead just have fun. Good luck man, girls can be very hard to understand and can really mess with your heart, but just be prepared for anything.
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