Felixtheecat Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 My ex and I had discussed about a month of NC last time we spoke and I had promised myself that much. While there was one text traded inbetween the month i'm not going to start from the beginning. The month will be up a week from today and i'm nervous about what to say and how to go about things. I know that even if I do have the luck of being in a relationship with her again the reestablishment of communication is going to be very slow and gentle which is hard because I have such strong emotions. To make matters worse tomorrow is my 30th birthday and despite our attempts at NC or LC i'm going to feel very offended if she doesn't wish me a happy birthday. I may decide to not contact her for a maybe another week past the month. Perhaps some of the idea is that I should contact her when the appropriate words and actions come to me, but i'm anxious. I certainly don't like the idea of feeling forgotten. Then again she broke up with me, so maybe I should just let her contact me. sigh...
skibum Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I dont know the backstory to your breakup and whether it was good terms, bad terms, length of dating, reason for breakup... so it is hard to say what to do when the NC time runs out. I do agree that since she was the dumper she should contact you first. And I know your feelings will still be very strong and if there is a chance at reconciliation then it will be hard to take it slow, but that is a necessity. One thing Ive learned from reading this board is that a second chance is like a second relationship, you need to start from scratch. Luckily you know her well though and can play that in your favor. My ex and I set up a date after 2 months of NC which is about a month away and I am still not sure at all what will be said. I do know that I will let her do the contacting. And I may keep it short and maybe ignore it and call back a day or so later just so she doesnt get the idea that I am jumping at the chance to talk. I hope for a second chance, but realize that no girl wants a clingy, begging ex. We will see how it goes, but I think the best option is to take it slow and try not to get into any breakup details and emotional conversations.
Author Felixtheecat Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 Yeah, I hear what you're saying. If you are at all interested http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t275147/ is my story. The short version is basically I had issues which finally moved her to break up. In the first week two weeks she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me again, but also said she wanted me in her life, was the greatest love she had ever had, and believed in my ability to remedy my issues. With that I believe that as long as she feels all those other things there's still a chance. I certainly took notice that bringing up the idea of us having a second chance only upset her and made her fight the idea which would in turn upset me, so I decided to not bring it up anymore, which means now is the hard parts; focus on working on myself, give her space and show tons of patients. She actually thought my birthday was today instead of tomorrow and texted me a happy birthday. In the text she also told me that I "deserve the world'. That actually pissed me off given the irony of the situation. It also made me feel like she was hammering and idea in my head that she hopes I find what she couldn't give me. I finally chilled out and just decided that it's better than her forgetting or saying nothing.
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