victoriaaa Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Ok, this may be a long one so i apologise. Me and my ex have been together for 5 and a half years, i am 26 he is 25. It has been turbulent, and got to the point at me moving out in Feb, but we still tried to work at it. A lot of it is due to my anger problem, and his severe anxiety and depression and over dependence on me. 2 weeks ago we didnt speak for 1 day and he told me how much he had missed me etc and wanted to make a proper go of things and that he still loved me etc. So we spent the weekend together. Then 2 days later, I picked up on a comment when someone asked if we were back together he said "yeah we are seeing each other". I took this as he thought it was a kinda casual thing. I should of let it go but got upset and wouldnt leave it alone. He got angry and said he wanted to have a break. i asked for how long and he said he didnt know. he doesnt like pressue and agreed i could stay the nigh, but i was begging and pleading for another chance. but when he got into bed later than me i brought it up again and he got angry and told me to leave at 3am and paid for my taxi and he takes sleeping tabs and couldnt drive me. i called him the next day and the day after etc asking when we could meet and he said he didnt know and that he was busy. then on friday last weekend he text me after i asked to see him and justsaid he needed time and that he was very ill at the moment and needed to get back to his old self. i know there isnt anyone else as he is usually at his mums a lot. i agreed. he said he didnt love me in anger when he threw me out. he called me on sat last week about some pointless thing, asking for a number to call about his car. he gets so angry at the smallest thing at the moment so feel like im on eggshells, even tho i prob pushed him a lot to this point. i saw him last sunday to get some car stuff for him for my work. he asked me, so maybe it was an escuse to see me but he seemed cold and stressed. then he calls me the next day asking little favours for me to make calls etc. then we have quite a long chat about small talk like when we were together. i asked where i stood and he said it was over. i said what about the break and he said it was for good. its like he changed his mind without bothering ti tell me. i dont know if he is saying this out of anger or what. then he kept calling me for 2 days asking for little favours, but when i ask to meet up he says i cant yet etc, but not giving me a reason and being a bit mean and angry. he says we should be civil and we were together so long and the only reason he was talking to me was cos of bills etc. i got really mad and sent him an angry text saying that it wasnt fair and how could he suddenly decide he didnt wanna give me a chance etc, exp cos i had been his slave and given him so much money over the years, that was wed. i just thought it was selfish to expect favours from m when im hurtine, but maybe that was his excuse to talk to me. the next day i apologised by text as i felt guilty. he called me the next day (Friday) asking me to phone his counsellor for him which i did as i worry about him. he hasnt caled me since. This has been the longest without contact ever and i miss him so much, but scared i will push him away by calling him or texting him as its usually him to does since the break up. but every time i ask to meet he doesnt want to. im scared if i dont contact him he will think i dont want him, and he is very needy person, or if i contact him he will feel pressured. i am so lonely without him and miss him like crazy. how can i make him see that things might change if we try once more, as i know we still care. i feel the more i dont speak to him the easier it will be for him to forget about me. we even talked about kids the other week one day, not too seriously tho just time down the line. Does he know what he wants or shall i just give up. im not showing how hurt i am by all this, the pain is unbearable. do i contact him?and how can i go about it
Trovador Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 if i dont contact him he will think i dont want him, and he is very needy person, or if i contact him he will feel pressured It seems either way you are scr***d, you guys need a time apart from each other, don't worry about this, even the best couples need to distance themselves in order to put some perspective in their situation... But if you two don't work hard on your defects, you are condemned to a new, more hurtful failure... right now, take it easy and think that the world isn't ending but giving you a new chance to improve yourself...
Author victoriaaa Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 Thank you I think youre right. Its so hard at the moment tho. I text him last night and got no reply saying i accepted things even tho i was hurt. and that i wished we could of tried once more to make it work as we were gonna. ive not spoken to him in 3 days, but have text contact, mostly me. he text me a pic of himself with his baby nephew today as he knows i love babies. i started the text chat but he was a lot more responsive, but i dont know if its just friendly? so i dont know what this means? i darent push him at the moment, and i know hes lonely. it was his choice but i actually cried for him thinking about him sat on his own.he seems less angry which is good.
Author victoriaaa Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 He kept calling me but has stopped now. i think he missed me and is lonely. i hope he is ok. i call his mum which isnt i know good but she tells me if he is doing ok. have more limited contact now so will try nc. what if he calls? as he is the sort that will think im not bothered if i dont answer. i hope that he calms down and sees us trying again. dont wanna be his friend!
Author victoriaaa Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 ok so he called me today and we spoke for half an hour. i know i shouldnt have answered but i couldnt help myself. had a nice chat about general stuff and he has been showing me pics of his t shirt designs. i dont know what this means? he hasnt suggested meeting me and i darent broach it as he has declined last week.hes so hard to read and hes not a typical person. maybe its just guilt or lonliness? i dont kno. he seems a bit calmer now.
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