proactivedreamer Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Is it a fwb if you one is still getting to know the person? What is the difference between a lover and fwb? And should one have any expectations of their lover/fwb (i.e. expecting to speak with lover/fwb outside of a sexual context)? I have been wanting something like an fwb because I am not ready for anything serious but I still want some things one might get out of an exclusve relationship. I feel like I get so fxated on the details when I think I maybe found someone I could chill and be intimate with without the seriousness of a relationship. I need some advice!
Fondue Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 For me, a FWB is: Two people who enjoy each other's company, and also enjoy it sexually. That's all. You guys are friends, but also have sex whenever you both feel like it. A FWB has NO attachments. If there is every attachment, then it is no longer a FWB in my eyes. Then it's just one person who's getting sex, and they other is seeking something more. Immediately as there is attachment, things usually go sour. One side starts to get upset, jealous, etc., while the other is confused on why this is happening and is trying to avoid confrontation regarding that. Things afterwards usually suck for both parties. One person gets hurt, the other loses a friend. I never had a successful FWB. Every time it happened, the girl started to want something more. I am 100% capable of separating sex and feelings, but I know many people are not. Try it, but be cautious!
USCGAviator Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 I'm not seasoned in the FWB dept but I had it going pretty good for 6 months before she started working the angle to try and slip me into BF status. Which ultimately ended up being the demise of our FWB and now were just friends. We saw each other several times a week and even had lunch or sometimes dinner together. Our visits were never more than a couple hours which was filled with sinful sex most of that time. We were honest with each other. I could tell her that I wanted to pursue another woman and if it didn't work out I would contact her again. Either way best thing to do is keep things as honest and straight forward as possible.
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