lalalandman Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 (edited) I know I've been venting here for a few weeks but I just wanted to let you know my story. basically, we met August 2006. First loves. First sight. From the beginning it was very passionate and turbulent. She never wanted to be my gf from the start. I spent 4 years trying to gain her affection. In those first 4 years, she cheated on me (well she didn't call it cheating since we were 'never together') 5 times that I knew about. She also walked out of my life probably 3-5 times for days to weeks at a time. I'm not trying to paint a pretty picture of myself, but I was very caring towards her. Fast forward to July 2010, we have a bad break up, and I basically proclaim my love for her to her entire family. She kept me secret for pretty much 4 years, and one day, I go to her house, bang on her door, and say to her dad "Sir, I'm in love with your daughter". And her whole family was there. She didn't talk with me for a month and a half. So we start talking again in August, and I'm not sure how it happened, but she ends up leaving me again. Here's where it gets interesting. A few weeks later, I meet a girl at my new job, in September 2010. I'm not sure how this happened so fast, but we fell for each other. I drove to see her in Vegas, stayed with her, and when we came back home, she ends up MOVING IN WITH ME in October. Yes, wow. Anyways, the ex starts calling. Alot. I'm not picking up or replying. Sometime in the next month or so, finally my ex comes to my door, late at night, unannounced. My current gf answers the door, and that's how they meet. So then, my ex starts to message and contact ALL of my friends to tell me how dumb she's been all these years. She just admitted EVERYTHING. Eventually, me and new girl broke up in January, and the ex was still there. So, it was hard, because I let this new girl go for my ex. The new girl sensed I was very confused, so she left, and I let her. To this day, I'm glad I did because I realized that other girl was sort of a leech, but she was very sweet. So I told the ex that we should move in together and she agrees. A week later, she changes her mind. We were also supposed to open a joint vacation account, her suggestion, butshe changes her mind on that. Anyways, my ex is apparently always crying at nights, even though we're together, because she says "I'm not the same person anymore". She is constantly accusing me of seeing the other girl, which I hadn't. She seems to be acting "nice", but also at the same time very controlling. Around this time, I also show her something I had been keeping secret for a long time. Well, I had our names engraved at Dland, because, well, I kind of knew I wanted to spend my life with this girl. Anyways, during the next few months, it seems like she loves me and wants to be with me, but at the same time, there is a lot, A LOT of arguing. She thinks I'm seeing the other girl. I'm not, at all. She is CONSTANTLY bringing up the other girl, all the time. Eventually, there's another girl I start seeing secretly, but nothing serious, and it ends. It was a friend of a friend. Eventually, end of April, we have a huge blowout fight, and she ends it. I told her I wasn't happy with how things were going. She became very distant that week as I tried to work things out. I got so upset that I ended up screaming louder than ever. It was not pretty to say the least. I lost it. She said, "You had me for 3 months. I was here and you had me." So she walks out of my life, again.... It's been a week of NC for me. I spent 2 weeks trying to convince her not to give up. I tried saying how I've had my guard up these past couple months, but not to give up. Her mom even got on the phone and told me to leave her daughter alone, and that she would never call me again. My response to her mother was "You are wrong." I said some things I feel badly about, like "you're going to wake up one day, and feel stupid. And you're going to go to dland, look down at our brick, and feel DUMB for this decision you're making". errr, but hey, maybe it could be true. She said "I don't love you anymore and you don't love me", my response is "Stop throwing lies around". She keeps saying it will never work out, to move on, leave her alone. She calls my mother for advise. My mom says "If you're always crying, I agree to the breakup. But my son is a good kid, he loves you, if you don't want to work it out, don't talk with him" Yet she does keep replying to my texts for 2 weeks. Eventually I said, "You know what, Fine. There's nothing I can do or say to change your mind. I accept the decision you've made. Goodbye." She responded but I didn't read it. I deleted it. I'm sure it said something she said before like "get a grip and open your eyes. we don't work" It's been a week of NC. It's tough. Anyways, what my friends have told me is she will come back again, and it's my fault if I let her. Basically it's the same song and tune. But I don't know, whenever she leaves, I get the feeling like it's going to be for good. Should I move to another city, change my phone number? I actually deleted my FB because I don't want to have the ability to look where I shouldn't be looking. I still feel like this girl is my soulmate, and we should be together. I've gone on like 5 dates since, and I'm OK, but not great. Any advice? kick in the balls? Words of wisdom? Experience? Thank you. Edited May 22, 2011 by lalalandman
poorguy Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 I dont usually comment on threads like this at all!!!! In this case I cant help it though Ok dude...when moms are involved...I mean both moms in a GF BF situation...thats not good. How many trailers over from each other are your families? I would have yours towed down a little further in the park...or....to a different park alltogether...as these things can get out of hand!! Pack it in dude...Remember what you said on someone elses thread...go bang some other chick or something...go do that? Your in a toxic pattern homeboy....toxic patterns dont get better they get worse Go work on Landolakesman buddy...i dont remember you namem but I think it was that. After you do that, then have a relationship
Author lalalandman Posted May 22, 2011 Author Posted May 22, 2011 yea hehe I know what I said. Easier said than done. I haven't gone that far and I probably won't anytime soon. I think I was talking to someone who hadn't gotten over his ex in 5 years. But anyways, her mother has always been involved because she's always been pulling the strings. This is the first time she's actually spoken with my mother. Anyways, this is pretty tough. I'm not sure what to do, except stay NC. Honestly, we are really good together, but our bad times are bad. She adores me. But all I can do is just move on, which is hard as hell. It's tough thinking this is it for good.
poorguy Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Dude...go work on you, become a better man and let the past age like wine....Save the past for a good day once you are the man you want/need to be...and then and only then then open it up and enjoy it. You my friend have a long road to walk. You dont need directions, youll find your way, but neither one of you need each other now. Toxic
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