Yasmine Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 (edited) My ex and I were together for 2 years, we broke up 4 months ago. We both agreed to remain friends & after the break-up he has always been sincerely friendly to me, however I always initiated contact & he always responded. Last week, for the first time since our break up we talked on MSN again for an hour and it went very well, he asked many questions & seemed interested in my life. He also offered to book a plane ticket for me (I have no creditcard) which I found quite weird since he's my ex now. I know that he will contact me any time soon because he promised to give me some of my stuff back. I also told him that I will be going to London, and I think he kind of knew why, as he kept trying to get it out of me why I'm going--- I know a guy from there who I have contact with. Before our conversation he was on MSN pretty much every day..... after our conversation I haven't seen him online for quite some time. Is he afraid of getting too close to me again? Is he playing games? Why would a guy do that..... Gosh, I think i'm overthinking too much! I feel like he just suddenly disappeared because he knows that MSN is ''our'' way of talking to each other. It's kind of making me feel very fed up because I would really like to stay in touch with him. Thanks so much for your response Edited May 21, 2011 by Yasmine
Trovador Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Honestly, I don't see how he is sending you mixed signals if it's you the one to initiate contact... my take on this is that you are over analyzing all he says and does, and above all, you are worrying too much... Of course, who of us on this forum isn't guilty of this? However, I've been better since I stopped trying to find hidden meanings in my ex's interactions with me... she called me, fine, she didn't fine... we talked an hour, fine... we barely said hi, fine... otherwise, I'd be crazy by now... Let him decide by himself if he'd like to be in touch with you... you have done what you could, now it's time to take things easy...
Frank13 Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 You told him you are going to London, and you think he knows why (to see a guy), and now you wonder why he isn't on MSN? I don't think he is afraid of gettting too close or playing games. I think it hurts him that you are seeing another guy. Although it has been 4 months and it shouldn't bother him, we all like to think it will take our ex a while to find a replacement. I think he is just trying to distance himself to protect his heart. That is my guess. I could be wrong though.
Author Yasmine Posted May 22, 2011 Author Posted May 22, 2011 Thank you for the replies! English is not my native language so maybe ''mixed signals'' is not the correct term for this situation Well he's also dating a new girl so I don't understand why he would be upset about it or protect his heart........ He claims that he moved on.
Fedor Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Dont read much into it. If you both have found other people, why worry? If you put this much thought into this thread, it's telling me that you still care for this guy.
Author Yasmine Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 You're right. I still do care & I really do miss him. Therefore him suddenly disappearing is quite painful for me.
Beeotch Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 (edited) Mixed signals spell trouble and they're usually mixed because of our own interpretation. I assume you care because you may want your ex back. If so, I would suggest not reading into his behavior or talk unless it is backed up by consistent, non-confusing, straightforward actions. Otherwise, someone will run hot and cold and have you tied up with them, leaving you disappointed. My ex gave me many mixed signals and "came back" many times, even took me to dinner and all this However, his behavior was never consistent and straightforward and I gave him a "chance" each and everytime and it ALWAYS ended in disappointed. Ultimately, the point I have come to realize is that when someone loves you, wants you and MOST imortantly is prepared (as you can want someone and love someone but that doesn't mean it's meant to be or you're ready, so it leads you to do confusing things) to have a relationship with you, they make every effort, are consistent and you're never confused about it. Once you're confused...it's a no-go and you leave it at that. Edited May 23, 2011 by Beeotch
nana841121 Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 B said the words on my mind I have been through two different relationships one was filled with mixed-message, and it turned out that guy cheated on me, and never truly loved me one is filled with affection and care, he loves me, he keeps telling me that, and always shows great interests in my life. i know the difference. if you doubt whether he loves you or not,usually the result would disappoint you. Don't swirl yourself into that mess.
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