Shaun-Dro Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 OK, take the reins, who cares where she is going to be? ask her to go where you want to take her. Call her on Monday and ask her out for Thursday to meet for an after work drink somewhere not near that bar where you met (in fact never take her there again or go there yourself if you continue to date this girl). If she says yes, keep the date short, 1-1.5 hours, then "have to go, thanks for meeting me! will be in touch" (provided you want to ask her out again). Do not set a future date or even mention one at this point. You need to have some time to decide if she is worth a "real" date, and don't just assume she is because she looks good. If she says no, and doesn't offer or strongly hint at a raincheck, move on to other opportunities. If she offers a definite raincheck "how bout this weekend?" have a plan already in mind for Friday night and ask her to do that. Assuming things go well, start asking her out once a week on weeknights, not weekends, while you are making an active effort to meet other women on the weekends, don't sit around and fantasize about this one, whom you hardly know, make more real options for yourself. The goal is to have 3-5 options at any given time, even if all aren't ideal, rest assured if she is good looking, she has at least that many options. Get the playing field level and be the fun, light, flirty guy who asks her out and shows her a good time. Be prepared for a bomb sometime soon, "I'm still involved with an ex." That's fine as you haven't invested much time and hopefully little money, and have instead been out finding options when you would have been texting, calling, sitting around wondering about her. Truth is, you have no idea whether this woman is even truly available for dating. Weed her out fast if not and move to other options. Funny thing is that they can smell other options on you, and it makes you more attractive. But always remember, most importantly, outside of outlier behavior, there's just not much you can do to change a woman's estimation of you at this point. All the strategizing. calculating, etc., can't change much. You do it for -your- sanity and to keep -your- dating life interesting and full of options, not to try to influence them. You influence them only face to face by the quality of time spent together, not the setup and planning. And finally, she should be impressing -you- also, convincing you that she is worth your time, not just you impressing her, and don't cut slack on this. if she's a dud, not fun, not affectionate, never touches you, etc. be critical (internally) and when you can start cutting them for not impressing you enough, you are well on your way. Good luck. More or less what I said in a nutshell .
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