GuyfromBoston Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 So i started a LDR with my girlfriend in 2008.. i'm from the east coast and shes from the west coast We met through a mutual friend while she was in my city. we see each other every few months or so and the first year we was together everything was perfect.. shes about 9 years older so i'm new to dating older women. - I have certain trust issues and she knows that - all my previous EX girlfriends cheated on me and i told her that.. I was very very nice to her at the start.. She would go clubbing and go to the bars with her cousins/friends and all and i wouldn't mind it at all we never argued or anything for the first year but after that everything started to go downhill for me and the relationship. I started telling her she cant go to certain places and she agreed for the most part but every time she asked i said no she can't and stuff.. i told her because she might cheat on me one day. she kept telling me she wouldnt do that because she loves me. She started getting annoyed because i kept her from not going places until she bursted. the arguments kept coming on a daily basis like it was a chore. with all the arguments and stuff her son started to not like me ( hes only 11)'because i make his mom cry a lot. she told me i am a selfish controlling *******. i will admit i have been controlling her a bit because i am scared of losing her,.. she hates most of my friends, guy and girls ... i would understand if she hates 1 guy and a girl since theres a reason but even with new friends.. if i hang out with them a lot she starts getting pissed and not liking that. also we broke up today and got back together under certain circumstances( change your personality and let me do things). She said she doesn't want to be in an unhappy relationship and she wants to give it one last try.. by the way i am no angel i do call her vulgar names and stuff when we argue but i do apologize when i say mean things to her. I am also her first love =/. she also has 2 jobs so we talk a nice amount sometimes. i really do love her and she tells me the same thing she just want me to be the way i was before all this chaos. I am completely honest in this post i'm sure most people wont be 100% honest and also this is my first time being here.. so please any advice i would take if its to change all this around. i wish i can fix it all i just hope the way ( i made her) and this chaos wont be perminant. Please what can i do to change this around or at least fix half of it i do not want to lose her.. i want to try my best into keeping her.
utterer of lies Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Grow up. You are not her first love. Don't be naive. Leave her.
alethean Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 So i started a LDR with my girlfriend in 2008.. i'm from the east coast and shes from the west coast We met through a mutual friend while she was in my city. we see each other every few months or so and the first year we was together everything was perfect.. shes about 9 years older so i'm new to dating older women. - I have certain trust issues and she knows that - all my previous EX girlfriends cheated on me and i told her that.. I was very very nice to her at the start.. She would go clubbing and go to the bars with her cousins/friends and all and i wouldn't mind it at all we never argued or anything for the first year but after that everything started to go downhill for me and the relationship. I started telling her she cant go to certain places and she agreed for the most part but every time she asked i said no she can't and stuff.. i told her because she might cheat on me one day. A huge no-no. You should try very hard to keep the baggage from previous relationships from spilling over to this new one. What's the point of being in a relationship with someone you cannot trust? Trust is a huge part of a relationship. she kept telling me she wouldnt do that because she loves me. She started getting annoyed because i kept her from not going places until she bursted. the arguments kept coming on a daily basis like it was a chore. with all the arguments and stuff her son started to not like me ( hes only 11)'because i make his mom cry a lot. she told me i am a selfish controlling *******. i will admit i have been controlling her a bit because i am scared of losing her,.. she hates most of my friends, guy and girls ... i would understand if she hates 1 guy and a girl since theres a reason but even with new friends.. if i hang out with them a lot she starts getting pissed and not liking that. This sounds like a bad sign. First of all, it sucks that she does not like any of your friends. But the main issue is that she expects you not to hang out with them at all. That's pretty unrealistic imo. also we broke up today and got back together under certain circumstances( change your personality and let me do things). She said she doesn't want to be in an unhappy relationship and she wants to give it one last try.. by the way i am no angeli do call her vulgar namesand stuff when we argue but i do apologize when i say mean things to her. I am also her first love =/. she also has 2 jobs so we talk a nice amount sometimes. i really do love her and she tells me the same thing she just want me to be the way i was before all this chaos. I am completely honest in this post i'm sure most people wont be 100% honest and also this is my first time being here.. so please any advice i would take if its to change all this around. i wish i can fix it all i just hope the way ( i made her) and this chaos wont be perminant. Please what can i do to change this around or at least fix half of it i do not want to lose her.. i want to try my best into keeping her. This relationship does not sound healthy to me. But if you want to work on it, both of you need to relax on the control thing. Trying to control another's actions would never work. Secondly, trust needs to be there especially in a LDR. And try not to call her mean names. For me, name-calling is one of the best ways for me to lose respect for a person.
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