myname Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 After the day xMM's wife phoned I was so sure I would be able to keep up NC, but it's not been easy at all, and I've given in a few times now. He's still been contacting me, emails mostly, and one text. I've managed to not respond to more than half of his messages, but one time an email made me so angry and I felt I hadn't been able to give him my side of the story and was just being sent his, that I phoned and it made me feel much worse afterwards. Then I also responded to an email where he said he needed to talk to me about the consequences of the affair, it turned out to be his work issues that he wanted to talk about. Another two mails after that and I phone him again, not an angry conversation like the first time, but it just ended up bringing up feelings of missing him. I've had another email from him last night, wishing me a good weekend. I've not responded, but I was considering just sending a reply saying don't contact me again. I want to move on from this, but I'm finding it really hard.
BB07 Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Sorry to sound harsh but you aren't really NC if he still has the means to contact you and he does and so you are tempted to respond and you do. It's up to you......but until you cut him off, you are continuing the game of back and forth. You are just delaying the pain. The pain is going to come now or later........prolonging it often makes it worse. I know it's a hard step but until you truly cut his access off and deal with the pain, you can not move on.
crazycatlady Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Cut him off. All you are doing is hurting yourself. Don't read, don't respond. Ignore and block.
whichwayisup Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 I agree with the others. And, you're making this harder than it has to be. You are scared of the missing him and withdrawal feelings, the pain and dealing with that. The thing is, the more you respond, call, email to him, the more pain you're inflicting on yourself..Already you know this and feel this too. You CAN do this, but you have to want to be in NC and truly want it to be over. I'm not sure if you've hit your rock bottom and enough is enough stage to do everything you can to make it impossible for him to contact you. BLOCK his email! Or delete your email address and create another one. Change your cell number, or block him there too. You need to be pro active if NC is going to work. It'll never be enough, what you say, what he says, your reaction to what he says..it's a vicious circle that will eat you up. This is not the way to get closure. Your closure is doing NC and putting yourself first! Turning off what he feels, thinks and MAKE yourself not care about him. What counts is what YOU feel and what YOU think!
fooled once Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 After the day xMM's wife phoned I was so sure I would be able to keep up NC, but it's not been easy at all, and I've given in a few times now. He's still been contacting me, emails mostly, and one text. I've managed to not respond to more than half of his messages, but one time an email made me so angry and I felt I hadn't been able to give him my side of the story and was just being sent his, that I phoned and it made me feel much worse afterwards. Then I also responded to an email where he said he needed to talk to me about the consequences of the affair, it turned out to be his work issues that he wanted to talk about. Another two mails after that and I phone him again, not an angry conversation like the first time, but it just ended up bringing up feelings of missing him. I've had another email from him last night, wishing me a good weekend. I've not responded, but I was considering just sending a reply saying don't contact me again. I want to move on from this, but I'm finding it really hard. Either you want to be in the affair or not. You have to decide. You are choosing to respond to emails and texts. He isn't forcing you to. Sounds like you want to be back in the affair
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