skibum Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 I know there are many threads on here about getting back together but I always feel that there are minor details that dont apply to me. Heres my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t278070/ Summed up: -5.5 year relationship, all LDR except for summers and almost every other month for a few days -broke up out of the blue, she is very stressed -says she still wants to be good friends since we have such a good history (still doing NC for two months) -perfect couple when dating, no arguing or relationship issues, we arent that type, never broken up before -in a year says maybe we can start from scratch when I move back home -very distraught when dumping me, says I have been the perfect bf and it is not me at all but she just cant do long distance anymore and is so stressed and needs a person at home when she gets back from lab to console her Anyway it just seems that everywhere I look are people who have taken breaks and end up together. I am in a wedding in a few months with my good friend who had his gf of 2 yrs break up with him for 3 months bcs she was stressed 3 years ago and now they are engaged. That British prince and his now wife had a break. I have other friends who got back together after a few months and were successful. All over TV like How I met Your Mother and Seinfeld (obviously fake stories but they reflect how reality sometimes works). It just seems that breaks like this are kinda common in LTR and many ppl get on together later. I also hear plenty of ppl saying that its a break, you are done, get over it there is no chance. And of course I am not hanging on the hope of getting back together because that can be dangerous for my health but it still would be nice to know that as long as I work on getting over her there may be a chance in the future of reuniting. But she has been sucha huge part of my life for the past 7-8 years and we were so close to finally living next/with each other in 11 months. Any experience in this from anyone on here? Not trying to sound like I am hanging onto that hope but some statistics or trends in this would be much helpful thanks.
loverboy1984 Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 hey buddy I want to be the first to respond because I can relate and dont want others to come on and say you're "grasping on straws" and tell you generic LS things like NC move and move on (which is good advice but doenst answer your question) Funny how you bring up those examples because I too am going to a wedding with the couple in that same situation, and my ex is going to one where again the couple had several break ups before. And yes Prince William broke up with Kate after 5 yrs for 3 months then got back together, and they dated others in between. You know as much as I do that it does happen. Its not bad to have faith and be hopefull but invest a part of you in accepting the worst, so that if it doesnt you wont be paralyzed with hurt. For me Ive partially accepted that I may never have her again. But a part of me looks at it like you do and thinks it looks good on paper and that its a no brainer that she will come back. But times change, people change and distance changes people too. Logic is not always the rule. It may happen but it may happen later and maybe then you will be over it. People here will tell you that its broken and not worth fixing and that it will break again. But you as a future Physician should know that you are capable of solving problems and finding the underlying cause so it doesnt happen again, no matter how good you think your relationship was. Ive been in NC for almost 2.5 months. Im going through a really stressfull time and cant stop thinking about her and feel like shes moved on. Im gonna send her a text after shes done with her finals saying im proud of her and congradulating her on being done. Im ready for whatever response but hoping for the best. you should do the same. Give it time, continue with NC and dont let this come in your way of studying for the Step. Either wait it out till your done or do something about it now so you can continue healing and move on. Dont wait for her. keep doing what your doing. You wont be over her but it gets easier to deal with. There is always hope. But it takes two sides to make it work. make sure shes on the same page. dont try to convince her. If you want a viable relationship it needs to be genuine on both sides. Good luck!
Author skibum Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 Thanks for the advice man. This very moment you are taking your Boards. Freaky! Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. 3 and a half weeks left till mine. Its true that people can change, either for better or worse. And it is nice to hang on to a little hope of getting back together once her stresses subside. But I try not to make that the only reason I am OK and am working on letting go. If the relationship were to start again it would have to be slowly and with no jealousy or ill will. I fully recognize the need for space because of stress (though I would never do that since she helped alleviate all my stress, and you know there is a TON in med school) and love her so much that I will give it to her. If I didnt care so much for her I wouldnt do this. If there is another guy involved then it is easy to let go and say ****you but I dont think that is the case. Good luck contacting the ex after today, let me know how it goes, I am hoping for the best. Anyone else have any stories or thoughts on getting her back after all this?
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