Krob Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Okay so I'm in need of some advice.... Heres the whole story in depth I guess sorry it's really long, would be pretty awkward if she found this somehow hahaha o well here goes... So a while back my girlfriend was asked to prom by a guy who lives like 4 hours away and is a "family friend" she wanted to go. This was why I was originally iffy about it because it seemed so ridiculous to me for her to travel so far to go to prom with a guy she didn't really care about. Plus the fact that because I know no one up there its not like I had any friends there to watch over her or any way that I would ever have known if she cheated on me. But anyways She asked me about going and said she wouldn't if I didnt want her to. I didn't really want to say no because I don't really want to be that type of guy ya know? I tried very hard to give her signals that I thought were very obvious that I would probably end up getting mad about it at some point... I can't help it but idk... So she missed my signals some how I guess? Or she just really wanted to go so she did anyway. So we fought for a while and I didn't really like it. She made it clear that they never had anything before. I thought that she had told me previously that they did but I couldn't remember for sure so I believed her. Later on I tried to talk her out of it but nothing would work. She promised me constantly that nothing was going to happen. Then afterward she promised me several times that nothing happened. Of course the pictures mad me feel bad just thinking in my head you know how that is but then ok I got over it... Then she slipped out later on that the two of them used to have a thing which pissed me off because she lied to me.... Now just a few days ago (2 weeks after the prom) she tells me she kissed him and has felt very guilty about it.... I then broke up with her yesterday... but since then she has been trying very hard to get back together with me and seems to be very upset about it... Now I don't know what to do... The things that make it the worst are that she lied about it for two weeks... She broke her promises and lied about the relationship before... The things I'm more worried about is that there could be more than what I was told because I would never know... I probably sound paranoid but I'm just trying to give you guys the whole story because if it was just some drunk kiss that she told me about the next night I would be mad but I would probably stay with her... She really wants to get back together and truly seems sorry but where do I draw the line when is it too much, If I get back together with her this time doesn't that just open the door for her to do it again?... Some more random things that I don't like: She has been saying she liked / loved me so much for a very long time and even through the times when she had 2 other boyfriends. One of which she came over and made out with me for a while and then the next day found out her boyfriend cheated on her... She now claims that she found that out first but thats not what she told me at the time or she made no mention of it at the time. She would have gone out with me instead of those 2 but I never asked her out for a whlie because of me being at college and her not and I didn't like the long distance idea even though I did like her too.. I also always have had a slight bit of distrust with her plus I've been hurt before and ya took me a while to get over that one so I was hesitant. So hopefully you guys were willing to read all that haha, If anyone has any advice on what I should do that would be great... Should I get back together with her and give her another chance? Or should I just try to move on... Thanks for any help!!!
sanskrit Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 (edited) In your shoes would stay broken up and move onto other options. When dealing with gray area situations in the future with women, try not to be subtle when they want to do something you aren't comfortable with. Be very plain and direct about your discomfort because they have a way of getting really "thick" to the point of seeming brain damaged when faced with the possibility of hearing something they don't want to, and are masters of rationalizing anything you say that isn't crystal clear into whatever fits their agenda. But what it boils down to is that she went ahead with plans once it became clear that those plans made you reasonably uncomfortable, concealed material information from you about her past with the guy, cheated on you with him and took some time to confess. That's enough to move on in itself. The part about what she did before you two were dating was a little confusing to piece together, but it doesn't really matter, her recent actions are enough to make most anyone break up and stay that way. One other thing, don't waste lots of time trying to figure out if she did more with him, you have enough information to make your decision and move on without torturing yourself in that way. Edited May 21, 2011 by sanskrit
vivstah Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 move on. This girl is super shady. She asked for your opinion on going like she cared about your feelings on it, but went ahead and did it anyway. and to add insult to injury, she cheated and lied? Doesn't sound like someone you wanna waste one more second with. Go find a girl who will respect you
Author Krob Posted May 21, 2011 Author Posted May 21, 2011 Ahhh ya I just don't know I mean it was her first time cheating on me and stuff but she definitely can be shady... Anyone else have an opinion on this
ludachris Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 just her first time cheating on you? dude there shouldnt even be a first time. Its really up to you though. if you are going to hold this against her in yalls relationship then its not going to go well. But if you are willing to forgive her and not hold it against her and treat her badly because of it then go for it. but what she did is messed up and she doesnt deserve you right now.
FryFish Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 She is a little cheating bitch in training... Dont take her back... She will only get bigger and better at it... Someday some poor sucker is going to marry her and she will be out getting all kinds of strange.
ice salamander Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 I only read the title. Get rid of this skanky ho.
theobserver Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 I have to agree with others. Of course in cheating being shady goes hand in hand but from everything you said this woman is a coward and down right dirty. You are better then this. I hope you listen to us on here and DUMP HER while you still can easily move on to the next hopefully better class female. Just cause I'm a hard ass too, screw her one more time, then dump her ass, something to remember you by.
Darren Steez Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Ahhh ya I just don't know I mean it was her first time cheating on me and stuff but she definitely can be shady... Anyone else have an opinion on this Lol !yeah it's only her first time cheating on you so what's the worry? Dump her after three or four just to be on the safe side
Shaun-Dro Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Okay so I'm in need of some advice.... Heres the whole story in depth I guess sorry it's really long, would be pretty awkward if she found this somehow hahaha o well here goes... So a while back my girlfriend was asked to prom by a guy who lives like 4 hours away and is a "family friend" she wanted to go. This was why I was originally iffy about it because it seemed so ridiculous to me for her to travel so far to go to prom with a guy she didn't really care about. Plus the fact that because I know no one up there its not like I had any friends there to watch over her or any way that I would ever have known if she cheated on me. But anyways She asked me about going and said she wouldn't if I didnt want her to. I didn't really want to say no because I don't really want to be that type of guy ya know? I tried very hard to give her signals that I thought were very obvious that I would probably end up getting mad about it at some point... I can't help it but idk... So she missed my signals some how I guess? Or she just really wanted to go so she did anyway. So we fought for a while and I didn't really like it. She made it clear that they never had anything before. I thought that she had told me previously that they did but I couldn't remember for sure so I believed her. Later on I tried to talk her out of it but nothing would work. She promised me constantly that nothing was going to happen. Then afterward she promised me several times that nothing happened. Of course the pictures mad me feel bad just thinking in my head you know how that is but then ok I got over it... Then she slipped out later on that the two of them used to have a thing which pissed me off because she lied to me.... Now just a few days ago (2 weeks after the prom) she tells me she kissed him and has felt very guilty about it.... I then broke up with her yesterday... but since then she has been trying very hard to get back together with me and seems to be very upset about it... Now I don't know what to do... The things that make it the worst are that she lied about it for two weeks... She broke her promises and lied about the relationship before... The things I'm more worried about is that there could be more than what I was told because I would never know... I probably sound paranoid but I'm just trying to give you guys the whole story because if it was just some drunk kiss that she told me about the next night I would be mad but I would probably stay with her... She really wants to get back together and truly seems sorry but where do I draw the line when is it too much, If I get back together with her this time doesn't that just open the door for her to do it again?... Some more random things that I don't like: She has been saying she liked / loved me so much for a very long time and even through the times when she had 2 other boyfriends. One of which she came over and made out with me for a while and then the next day found out her boyfriend cheated on her... She now claims that she found that out first but thats not what she told me at the time or she made no mention of it at the time. She would have gone out with me instead of those 2 but I never asked her out for a whlie because of me being at college and her not and I didn't like the long distance idea even though I did like her too.. I also always have had a slight bit of distrust with her plus I've been hurt before and ya took me a while to get over that one so I was hesitant. So hopefully you guys were willing to read all that haha, If anyone has any advice on what I should do that would be great... Should I get back together with her and give her another chance? Or should I just try to move on... Thanks for any help!!! Trust no woman. They're all liable to cheat at some point, especially when young because they're constantly being sort after and never quite happy with what they have, so they're always looking for the next best thing. I think you should turn a new leaf on her and life. No more relationships and no more settling for anything. Just use these ladies for what they are: sex objects .
vivstah Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 there shouldn't ever be a first time! Haven't you ever heard the old cliche "once a cheater always a cheater?" trust, if she was able to do it once, what makes you think she won't have any trouble doing it again? if you forgive and forget she's just gonna think she can get away with it and will just try to be sneakier. Don't put up with that b.s. please:mad:
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