Barese Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Hey guys so this is a really long story but I could do with any advice as I've tried everything. Ok, so i met my ex at uni about 4 years ago and we got together. She had always been cheated on before and was jealous, but hey I was seeing 2 other girls when I got with her so didn't blame her really. Anyway we were together for a year and a half and she was head over heels in love with me and made it obvious everyday. I wasn't a bad boyfriend but never really told her I loved her as I didn't actually realise it. Anyway she eventually broke up with me after I took her for granted. I hold my hands up I totally deserved it. I took her for granted and never really wanted sex as it was there all the time and I was new to relationships this real. That next year I had to see her every single day. She made it clear that she was angry at me and treated me like ****. She got with a new guy a week after we split and rubbed it in my face that they were having sex everywhere. ****, I missed her and realised I loved her, loved her more than anything in the world. I told her everyday but she didn't give a ****. Those next ten months were the worst of my life. I couldn't let go and did everything to be near her. I did start sleeping with other girls, quite a few in fact. This also pissed her off due to the fact I never wanted sex with her. Anyway, things weren't working with her bloke and I some how managed to worm my way back with her. I was so in love I can't explain it. Problem is because of her running straight into the arms of another bloke I couldn't help be paranoid. Even when we moved in together it wasn't right. Basically she did not want to have sex with me.....ever. In the ten months we were back together we had sex twice. I know terrible. She sacrificed a lot to move in with me at a town where she knew no one but I did every possible thing I could to make her happy, encouraged her to go out meet mates, get a job everything. I told her I loved her everyday and always did really romantic things for her. She didn't appreciate a single thing at all and I snapped after Valentines when I did the most romantic treasure hunt and presents possible and she didn't even get me a card. It was the final straw and I had to end it. I was still in love with her but clearly she wasn't in love with me. the next month of living together she still told me she loved me and hugged me and kissed me and ****, I went away for a week and when I got back everything changed. She was cold, harsh and never wanted to spend time with me just go out on the piss with her friends. I can't even be bothered to explain how hard it was the last month but she finally moved back home. The problem is that she has had to contact me about the house and it's clear that she was over me already. She was so cold and never asked me how I was ever. She would just tell me that whenever I was ready to be friends to call her. How can she go from loving me into not giving a ****. I am completely heart broken again. I am trying to move on but the hardest thing is the sex. We had sex twice, she said it was uncomfortable because she saw me as a friend. I thought we'd have sex all the time. I lasted less than 5 minutes both times because it was so rare it happened. That's whats eating me up. I bet she is out having sex with people without feeling uncomfortable and looks back and thinks how rubbish in bed I was. This kills me and I can't stop thinking about it, I just want to prove it to her because whenever I have good sex with anyone else it just reminds me that I didn't with the one person I love.
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