shiftedblue Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 So I've been talking to this guy who many of my friends have known for years, mostly on an acquaintance-level. He's shown some interest in me and I in him, but he's hard to figure out. He's not aggressive at all. He texts me a lot but it's barely flirtatious. We have kissed when drunk and gotten somewhat close to other stuff but I didn't want to go further because we were drunk. Anyway, my friends tell me he hasn't had a girlfriend in years. He does seem pretty shy but I'm starting to think I might be wasting my time because he is so seemingly shy...I'm wondering if he could be asexual/low-libido? He's only inclined to be physical toward me when he's had a few shots. I'm a very touchy-feely person so I don't know if it would work if he's so physically stand-off-ish. Anyone have any input?
ladyinlimbo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 As I ask with every post here (lol), what's his age? I'm doubtful that he's asexual if he does 'get going' with liquor under his belt. Sounds to me like he's shy and needs liquid courage to loosen up. That doesn't mean he would ALWAYS be this shy once in a relationship with someone.........there's a good chance he wouldn't remain that way. Some people, men and women, are just painfully shy or they lack confidence or maybe they had a bad experience in the past where they were more affectionate but it didn't go over well with someone and now they're gun-shy. I wouldn't necessarily write him off or conclude that he's got a low libido/is asexual. Maybe try spending more time with him to see if he comes out of his shell a bit more. For some people, even men, a level of trust needs to be established before they can let loose and open up physically. Who knows, maybe he came from a very devoutly religious upbringing and had it drilled into his head that a guy must always be a gentleman and due to this he's afraid of crossing the line.
Author shiftedblue Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 He's 28, I'm 24. One thing I know about him is he is very anti-religion...but I suppose that could have to do with being raised with religion and having some negative experience with it. Thanks for your reply, it makes me feel better about pursuing him. He's a great guy so he's definitely worth a shot..
Feelsgoodman Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Sounds like he's shy, plus he's likely confused by your behaviour (i.e. getting touchy-feely at first but not wanting to go further because both of you have been drinking)
thatone Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Thanks for your reply, it makes me feel better about pursuing him. He's a great guy tell him that, he'll grow by leaps and bounds.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 tell him that, he'll grow by leaps and bounds. Agree!!!!
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