sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I've known a guy for a few months. We're more like friends though there seems to be some sexual tension (not sure if it's one-sided though). So yesterday he texted me and said he's looking for a girlfriend and asked whether I knew where he could find one. I wasn't too pleased with his question but gave a few examples. He didn't seem too impressed with my answers and said maybe he should just try the bar. Was that a genuine question or was he testing?
Sabali Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 He was testing the waters to see if it would be okay to take a dip in you. It was pretty weak.
Author sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 He was testing the waters to see if it would be okay to take a dip in you. It was pretty weak. Can you expand? Why did he need to ask such a question to test waters? Why is it weak?
dispatch3d Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 to that title, lets not start that again. As far as the question in your post, if you aren't comfortable answering a question, change the subject or just say "I don't know!". Here I think I'd go with option 2.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Pretty impossible to know what someone else is thinking.....but it's possible he was testing you / feeling you out to see if you'd say "me." What age is he? Would you want to go out with him if you knew he was interested? If so, you could always text him back with something like, "remember when you were asking me where you could find one?.....well I think I know of someone :-)" ......then see where it goes from there. You should be able to tell from his responses if he's being a little flirty with you.....because he won't know for sure if you're speaking about yourself or someone else. Or you could just ask him if you misunderstood his question the other day.......was he trying to tell you something because you thought he might have been but weren't sure. His age will be an important factor here, in giving you the best advice....so what is it? Is he a shy person?
Author sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 Pretty impossible to know what someone else is thinking.....but it's possible he was testing you / feeling you out to see if you'd say "me." What age is he? Would you want to go out with him if you knew he was interested? If so, you could always text him back with something like, "remember when you were asking me where you could find one?.....well I think I know of someone :-)" ......then see where it goes from there. You should be able to tell from his responses if he's being a little flirty with you.....because he won't know for sure if you're speaking about yourself or someone else. Or you could just ask him if you misunderstood his question the other day.......was he trying to tell you something because you thought he might have been but weren't sure. His age will be an important factor here, in giving you the best advice....so what is it? Is he a shy person? As I had mixed feelings about whether he might be interested or it was just me thinking there was something going on between us. When I saw that text, my immediate reaction was that it was all in my head and he asked a genuine question. So my defense was just to give a few examples. A not-too-mature 30. I wouldn't say he's a shy person but he may not be the bold take the bull by the horns guy.
Sabali Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Can you expand? Why did he need to ask such a question to test waters? Why is it weak? He needed to ask you a question to test the waters because he does not have the courage to directly make a move on. Instead of just putting everything on the line while you two are standing next to each other and grabbing you like Mr. International and planting a deep kiss on your face, he prefers to send you a more obscure message to see if you are interested in a romantic way before he make any move. It's w-e-a-k weak. Why are you playing naive?
Author sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 He needed to ask you a question to test the waters because he does not have the courage to directly make a move on. Instead of just putting everything on the line while you two are standing next to each other and grabbing you like Mr. International and planting a deep kiss on your face, he prefers to send you a more obscure message to see if you are interested in a romantic way before he make any move. It's w-e-a-k weak. Why are you playing naive? Because I've been let on before so I refuse to think someone's interested unless they do what you described.
Sabali Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 His age will be an important factor here, in giving you the best advice....so what is it? Is he a shy person? He suggested going out to a bar to look for someone but can't even make a move properly on someone he is familiar with... if he can go to a bar, he must be at least 18 or 21 if US.
Author sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 This should probably be for a new thread. But why the f*** do guys ask such a question?! Why do they not think that it could be misunderstood for a genuine "hey, female friend, since you're a girl, you must know where I can meet girls. So where can I do that?" Why do some guys think girls would know what their hidden message says? If guys complain that girls expect them to read their mind, why do guys do such a thing?
Sabali Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Because I've been let on before so I refuse to think someone's interested unless they do what you described. 99.9% of the time, behavior like this will mean what I described above. Don't let that incident in the past throw you off. Okay, this friendship is going to go down the drain if you are not interested in him so you might as well do him a favor. Would you be a doll and tell him to grow a pair and just make a move already the next time he is in this situation. Don't send weak, obscure little messages to show interest.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It's totally understandable that you didn't know where he was coming from so you erred on the side of caution and answered him the way you did. If I was you, I'd just text him back with "so you were asking me the other day about where to find a girlfriend?......well I wasn't really sure what you were really asking when I responded.......but anyway, I think I know of someone who'd make a great girfriend but I guess you'll have to figure it out *smile*" ...then don't write anymore, let the ball be in his court to make the next move.........that's IF you'd really and truly be interested in going out with him. If you have mixed feelings about it, best not to start something because you don't want to hurt him or get his hopes up?
Sabali Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 This should probably be for a new thread. But why the f*** do guys ask such a question?! Why do they not think that it could be misunderstood for a genuine "hey, female friend, since you're a girl, you must know where I can meet girls. So where can I do that?" Why do some guys think girls would know what their hidden message says? If guys complain that girls expect them to read their mind, why do guys do such a thing? I covered your question in my second post of this thread. He doesn't have the courage.
Author sayitasitis Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 Hold on. I actually forgot to mention that some of the characteristics of the girls he said he likes aren't all like me and some of the famous people he listed don't all resemble me. How was I supposed to know he was into me? Do guys do this to throw girls off? What's the deal?
ladyinlimbo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Hold on. I actually forgot to mention that some of the characteristics of the girls he said he likes aren't all like me and some of the famous people he listed don't all resemble me. How was I supposed to know he was into me? Do guys do this to throw girls off? What's the deal? It's possible he was throwing in a few 'red herrings' so as not to be too 'obvious' that he was really talking about you or feeling you out to see if you might be interested. At the end of the day though, you have you to consider if you'd be happy with a dude who's so cryptic and perhaps has to play little word games to make his interest or feelings known? Perhaps he's not always like this.....but just in this case because he's a chickensh*t and as you've been "friends" he doesn't want to overstep...... Text him the quetion I wrote above.......then sit back and see how it all pans out........that's IF you're interested.
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