authoress1 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Okay, I am wondering if I did the right thing. Some days are good, others bad. I met a military guy on a dating website, and we talked(and Skyped)for seven months. He was a great guy at first, and I felt we had a lot in common. We were both creative types, and seemed to have common goals(example: both liking to travel, not wanting children). He had never married, neither had I, and we both had just a few deeper relationships in our lives. When we began talking, he was stationed overseas for a year. He invited me to visit him on his leave time, and I planned my vacation to coordinate with that. (I should mention that his was a "desk job" though he still did things like guard duty on the base.) Early in our conversations, he said something like, "we could get married." I kind of laughed it off, thinking he was joking, we didn't know one another very well yet. He flattered me and said he was attracted to me. He then decided he was going to spend another year overseas. I decided to write him and tell him that even though I was happy he'd chosen to do that(because I knew he wanted it)I was sad at the fact that I'd only see him once in a couple of years. We talked on Skype, and when I asked him if he wanted to continue the relationship, he said he didn't want to be just my friend. He kind of turned red when he said that. So, then, a few weeks later, I found I had to press him to talk with me. He was suddenly "too busy". Finally, I got the ominous message that he would like to talk on Valentine's Day. He broke up with me over the phone, and when I asked if he wanted to still be friends, he said, "what else is there?" He also practically accused me of wanting to be engaged to him. I had to remind him that HE was the one who brought up marriage, not me. I told him I did not expect anything from him, like engagement, yet, because we were still getting to know each other. And he asked that I wouldn't stalk him, or talk bad about him to his friends. To which I replied how was I going to stalk him from thousands of miles away, and I didn't even know his friends! We were still Facebook friends(though I have hidden his profile.) After a month or two of half-hearted friendly notes from both of us, I wrote to tell him goodbye, and apologized for anything I might have done to hurt him. I also told him I had been hurt and angered by his behavior. He replied, in a very generic way, claiming he had only wanted friendship!! I wrote back and told him that any woman who had a man tell her the things he did to me, would've thought he felt more than friendship for her. I also said goodbye, but that I'd write him if he wrote me. I haven't looked at his Facebook since(about a week ago)so I don't know if he has blocked me. But he is still on my friend list. Even though this man treated me very badly, I still have feelings for him. But I am following the no-contact rule so far. I just wish he had told me the truth from the beginning.
Author authoress1 Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 Is there a good way for me to forget him? He's trying to be on the track to getting famous, with the work he does--I am afraid that some day I will have to hear about him on the news, or something. I am trying to keep myself from asking him to "start over", because I really did care for him? Any suggestions?
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