bluenightowl Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I've been thinking of this issue for a long time.. Its not easy sometimes to be a man in the sexual sense when a women wants to have SEX with you. That all said, I am now firmly of the belief I only want to be with one woman at a time and expect the same. If I was 18, I'd probably have a different answer, but I'm older now.. and I have experience.. and what you want changes. Thus I will say no to casual sex if I know she is dating/sleeping with others.. and well I would hope she might get just as disappointed with me if I did the same. I'm not suggesting my way is the best way.. I respect that diversity.. but I am interested to know if other men have also ever turned down the opportunity for SEX with a lovely woman who you knew only wanted sex, or was not sure what she wanted and so you slowed things down to perhaps help her. maybe be a friend.. maybe call if off.. who knows.
Darren Taylor Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Sure you can. I refuse to have casual sex, because I don't intend to pick up any STDs.
Fondue Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It is possible to reject casual sex, yes. I've rejected it before for a few reasons from different women. Most of them were the following: 1) The girl is "questionable." She may or may not be a "clean" individual. 2) I'm not sexually attracted to her. Yah, looks matter, so what? 3) She already had a boyfriend. I'm a man who absolutely respects all other men around me. I would NEVER do anything with a woman whom is already taken-- regardless of how good/bad/etc. her relationship is. I respect my fellow man and expect to be respected as well. I wouldn't want some guy getting it on with my woman... With that said, the final reason why I would reject casual sex is if I wasn't sure the girl could separate casual from feelings. I can have sex and feel nothing. Sex is sex. I know many cannot. If I think a woman will eventually get attached or have feelings of some sort, or even EXPECTATIONS of me (like hanging out on other occasions, "dates," cuddling) then I would kindly say no. So there you go. If the girl is std-free, attractive, isn't taken, and won't care for me emotionally afterward or expect to cuddle, then sure! Sex is sex! Let's go!
sanskrit Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 No need to have a hard and fast rule about it is there? Casual sex does not necessarily = risky sex, just think before you hop in bed.
Disillusioned Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Ain't gonna happen, bud. I wouldn't have casual sex even if the woman offered me a $1M stud fee.
taiko Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It is easy to say no when you have access to regular deliberate sex
Red Arremer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It is easy to say no when you have access to regular deliberate sex If there wasn't a minimum post length requirement on this board I'd just empty quote this.
USCGAviator Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I've been thinking of this issue for a long time.. Its not easy sometimes to be a man in the sexual sense when a women wants to have SEX with you. That all said, I am now firmly of the belief I only want to be with one woman at a time and expect the same. If I was 18, I'd probably have a different answer, but I'm older now.. and I have experience.. and what you want changes. Thus I will say no to casual sex if I know she is dating/sleeping with others.. and well I would hope she might get just as disappointed with me if I did the same. I'm not suggesting my way is the best way.. I respect that diversity.. but I am interested to know if other men have also ever turned down the opportunity for SEX with a lovely woman who you knew only wanted sex, or was not sure what she wanted and so you slowed things down to perhaps help her. maybe be a friend.. maybe call if off.. who knows. I'm right there with you man! I'm 30 and serious about looking for the right woman. 2 of my previous casuals still have their door open to me, and I have yet to come back to either of them.
Woggle Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It is good for a man to have standards but a man should have a player period. It teaches you not to let women drag you around by the balls.
Author bluenightowl Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 "It is good for a man to have standards but a man should have a player period. It teaches you not to let women drag you around by the balls." Perhaps the two are similar in that both involve standing up for oneself.. but I would argue one never needs to be a player.. just be confident.. know what you want.. and be mentally prepared for anything esp. if need be to walk and not look back. no need to hurt someones feelings to build up your own. I used to once think.. I need to win her over.. or if she leaves.. win her back.. but now I believe the strongest thing one can do is walk away and just find someone more like you.
thehead Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Casual sex lost all its appeal for me. I racked up the numbers in high school and college. Women were always available and willing even after graduation. Then I fell in love with a woman and game over. ONS, FWBs those aren't for me any more. I'd rather be exclusive.
musemaj11 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 For me sex is no longer as appealing as it was in high school when I felt like I wasnt supposed to be doing it and I was a horny teenager. Now I need to work out a lot and pump up that testosterone in order to feel horny. Otherwise, meh, I would rather go watch a movie.
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