llostboy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My girlfriend dumped me last week. Says I took her for granted, didn't appreciate her, etc. I loved her more than any girl I've ever dated. She said I spent too much time with my friends and always blew her off. Looking back she's right. I didnt now how she felt until she dumped me. She let me have it and said it's over. Should I go NC? Will that help me get her back? Help - I don't want' to lose her.
plasma Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 My girlfriend dumped me last week. Says I took her for granted, didn't appreciate her, etc. I loved her more than any girl I've ever dated. She said I spent too much time with my friends and always blew her off. Looking back she's right. I didnt now how she felt until she dumped me. She let me have it and said it's over. Should I go NC? Will that help me get her back? Help - I don't want' to lose her. NC should help. know what your doing, she is MUCH more experienced then you know, she tallied up all these faults as if she had a note pad until her resentment grew bigger and bigger, let it be for now. in this situation dont play games if you want her back, she may already have been " disconnected " from you while in the relationship Read NC threads and proceed with caution, wait until she contacts you. trust me
Kodo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Gota love those ones. And I bet there were things she was doing wrong but of course it was only because of you. And she won't care that you were probably uncomfortable recently too. They try and fix it themselves and when they can't they suddenly switch off their love emotion like it never existed. Brilliant mechanism that one.
EgoJoe Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) Do not contact her period. Avoid her like the plague. This is advice that my gut said to do and might have worked. But, I did what my Ex said she wanted and it got me nowhere but strung along...sorta...heh. Just leave it be man. Edited May 20, 2011 by EgoJoe
spiderowl Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Sorry to hear it. Did your girlfriend express any of her discomforts before it got to this stage? If so, all you can do is to learn from it. If you are willing to go 'on bended knees' to her because you want her back badly enough, then you have to address the specific complaint. You could send her a letter saying you are sorry, you regret not paying attention and you now realise how neglected she felt. The last thing you want to do is to neglect her. Would she be willing to try again as you will do your best to ensure things change. See if she responds. But, if she's said it's over, she may have got past the stage of caring any more and it would be irreparable. I suppose we all tend not to take the other person's feelings seriously unless they make a great impression on us. Unfortunately, we often tend to drop hints or suggest things rather than stand up and say we've had enough and things must change. Your girlfriend seems to have got past the hinting stage and decided nothing was working so she gave up.
D-Lish Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 My ex bf was the same- it seemed like he collected resentment along the way, but chose not to confront me on the issues he had with me. By the time he broke up with me, he had already checked out of the relationship long before he told me. There isn't a lot you can do when this happens. Ideally, she would have told you how she was feeling when it first came up. If she did let you know and you chose to ignore it, take that as a learning lesson for your next relationship. I usually advise against sending letters- but in your situation, I'd do as someone else suggested and send her one letter explaining yourself, apologizing, THEN going NC after that.
rayne05us Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It sounds like you guys didn't have good communication if she's gonna let all this build up inside and it sounds like you have some stuff to work on as well that isn't going to just fix itself if you get back with her. In order for her to see if she wants you back, you def need to give her time. And in order for it to work, you would both have to be willing to work on the issues.
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