Conscience Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Its weird as my wife was unfaithful and I'm the dumb as that is willing to consider to take her back when I have all these women after me right now!!! why!!! Its like a sworn of hot women where waiting for me to be out of my marriage! Ok im a good looking guy but Whoa what the !!! Why can't I just walk away from my wife after all she did to me and just see other women ? I did everything I was suppose to do after the break up, took care of myself , started exercising and getting back in shape, found new activities made some new friends etc but why am I still hanging on this ex !!! I don't even know why! When I see her no joke I get butterflies!!! still after 8 years of being with her!!! I sort don't want to feel like that anymore I want to be alone and experiment but I can't seem to get her off my head!!! How can I plz help
willowthewisp Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 How long have you been apart? After 8 years it is going to take some time to feel indifferent towards your wife. I was with my ex nearly 20 years and only recently have I reached indifference, it has been 2 years and 2 months since he left me.
supermom33 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It's because after 8 years together your attraction to her is more than physical, its emotional too. These women that are around you are just eye candy but maybe that's just where the attraction ends. No substance. I have been married for 5 years and my husband is my best friend. We know everything about each other - things that nobody else knows. The intimacy of being in a relationship for years and eventually decades outweighs the eye candy. You mentioned that your wife was unfaithful but not many details as to the situation. Is she going to counseling? Has she tried to change? Is this something you could forgive her for?
2.50 a gallon Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I suspect it is because of the marriage vows that you took Years ago I found myself in a similar place. I had spent over a decade of my life being a major pussy hound, when my Ex corralled me. I probably was not totally in love with her until I saw this beautiful woman walk down the aisle to take the weddings vows with me. I remember thinking she really showed up and she really is going to marry me. She wants to have my kids. We can have a family, etc. Six months later I caught her kissing another man and my anger was such that I kicked her out, and she having no other place to go moved in with the OM. About a month later, she saw the errors of her ways, and that she had probably lost me forever and begged me to take her back. Lots of tears, and to this day I believe that her "I'm sorrys", "I'll never make that mistake again", "I love you's", etc., were sincere and she really did want to reconcile. That is when I discovered the power of them vows. I had been taught since early childhood about marriage and the marriage vows. I thought the pain of falling into the black hole of despair following the break up of a marriage was devastating. This was even worse. I was in pain, and to see my wife, the woman I had taken vows with, in much the same pain, if not more, knowing that it was her screw up that put us there, made it the worst day of my life. I realized that no matter, I no longer trusted her and I did not have much hope of ever getting that trust back again. So I had to tell her the truth and tell her No, it was over. Over the next 3 to 4 years she made many more attempts to get us to reconcile and even though I was dating, each time it hurt almost as bad as the first time. It was them vows, that attached us. I am now in a long term very loving relationship, with a woman that I can totally love and totally trust. And I am so glad that I found the courage to tell my Ex "No" I will never take them vows again. The pain is just too great.
robf1971 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Its like a sworn of hot women where waiting for me to be out of my marriage! Ok im a good looking guy but Whoa what the !!! Yep, I'd never had so much female interest as when my wife walked away. It's like there's a serious shortage of guys out there and I'm nearly 40. Anyway i think thats part of the reason why my wife snapped out of it.
2.50 a gallon Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Conscience My story is similar to robs. The sudden turn around came when she discovered that I too had moved on and shared our marriage bed with another woman.
Author Conscience Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 willowthewisp: We have been apart for nearly 5 months but due to the fact that we have 2 beautiful kids were in constant contact! As of now she was at her shrink and was proposed to write a letter and lay down her cards she is suppose to present that to me in the near future! I guess I don't know what the conditions will be and if i will accept them or not...
Author Conscience Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 You mentioned that your wife was unfaithful but not many details as to the situation. Is she going to counseling? Has she tried to change? Is this something you could forgive her for? Yes she is seeing a psychologist, I don't know if she is willing to change as of now I am waiting for her to write me a letter where her psychologist suggested she writes down and lay down her cards and write a resume of our relationship and where were at, not long ago we where trying to reconcile and something stupid happened and i decided to take more time on my own. Yes I can forgive her and I hope that her cards that she is suppose to lay down will be interesting enough for me to want to be back with her.
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